Miss Sara...was an angel to me and became God's angel July 17, 2008
We've all heard that dynamite comes in small packages. Never has this been more true, than when anyone was blessed to meet and become acquainted with Sara Dickson. She was a precious little elderly woman that stood perhaps 5 ft tall (and that might be stretching it!) Sara was never married but one would never dare to call this dynamo an "old maid" or "spinster." She taught Home Economics for many years at the High School. She lived out in the country and when confronted by a pesky possum or some other varmint, she didn't run screaming in the other direction. The majority of the time she caught the said pest and while she did not kill it, she did trap it in the trunk of her car and take it "elsewhere." Someone told me of a time that she had caught an intruder and stuffed it in her trunk, intending to set it free up the road, but suddenly had taken ill and drove herself to the ER. Once inside she was told she would have to stay overnight, so she immediately dispatched someone to check on the status of the critter trapped at her mercy. I'm not sure how that turned out, as I never asked!
The first time that I actually had the opportunity to talk with Miss Sara, was when returning from dinner out with my husband, there was message on our machine telling us that Sara was in the ER and she was alone. I decided to go there and be with her. This was a first for me, as I always accompanied my husband on hospital visits. I went in and she seemed so happy to see me. I sat on the stretcher next to her while she waited to get the results from blood work. She had struck up a conversation with the young nurse and found that they shared something in common. It seems that the nurse had played basketball in high school and her team had won some sort of championship. Little Miss Sara says, "I played basketball in high school. I was a guard and I was rough!" She almost growled the word "rough." I believed her!
After the doctor came and Sara had inquired about his land and family....he told her that she had pneumonia and his first instinct was to keep her in the hospital. Promising she would go home and stay in, he ordered a shot and when the nurse came with the injection, I stood to go outside of the curtain to give her privacy and as I turned to tell her of my intent, she had already dropped her pants. I immediately turned red and said "Oh.." to which she replied..."Ahhh, you have the same thing I have, mine is just older!" A beautiful friendship was started!
I'm sad to say that I did not get to have a lot of time with Miss Sara. However, the time that God allowed our paths to cross, gave us time to love each other and form a bond that I still feel to this day. I was blessed to have known her. There are many things I could say to sing her praises, but I will leave you with this....Miss Sara made the best Christmas muffins I have ever tasted. They were tiny little muffins that were pretty to behold...perfect in size and shape and had this tangy taste. When you started eating them, you weren't satisfied with just one. One always left you wanting more. Just like Miss Sara.
Miss Sara, in memory of you....recently, the people across the street moved abruptly and left 7 cats stranded. 5 were kittens and the other 2 adult cats. I am terrified of cats...but, I went and bought cat AND kitten food and bravely walked across the street and fed and watered them. I just did not have your gumption to trap them in my car and take them elsewhere.
Thank you God, for sending me this little dynamo angel that I so dearly loved, even for this short time.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Angels I've Entertained #1
Carolyn....was an angel to me and became God's angel March 6,2008
I was very blessed to have known Carolyn since I was a child. She worked in my dentist's office and I went to school with her daughter Beth. Beth and I were good friends in elementary school and in 4th or 5th grade, we went to see the play "Wind In The Willows" together.
When I began coming to EUMC in July 2007, I hadn't seen Carolyn in years. She came and spoke to me at church and I had the distinct impression that I knew her, but had no idea how. When she told me that she knew my mother and that I had gone to school with Beth, I was so happy that now....I knew someone in the church!
When Ken and I got engaged, we knew that we were going to be married out of town in a very small wedding of family only. We planned to have a reception the following week at our new church as we wanted to include our new church family. Carolyn was the first person to offer her assistance. She always seemed to have boundless energy. I called her my little firecracker. She was always happy and had this beautiful smile. More than anything, she loved her family. She was especially proud of her three girls. She always had a story for me about her girls or the grandchildren. Simply....she just loved life.
My favorite memory of Carolyn was of mine and Ken's first Christmas together as a married couple. I was putting up our tree one night before Christmas while Ken was teaching a Discipleship Class. As I pulled out all of the decorations, I realized that these were all Ken's ornaments. As I opened each little box and took out the ornament, it saddened me because these were from another time...before me, before "us" as a couple. I was hanging all of these ornaments and they meant nothing to me. There was no little story that sprang to mind as I uncovered each decoration. Nothing was "ours."
The next morning, Carolyn dropped by with a gift and we chatted for a few minutes and she went on her way. After she left, I decided to go ahead and open the gift and not wait until Christmas. I unwrapped the gift and pulled aside the tissue paper and as I looked at the gift, I cried. Inside the box was a beautiful glass snowflake ornament that had imprinted on the front...."Our 1st Christmas Together." I actually picked it up and kissed it and hugged it to me. I hung it on OUR tree immediately. I have no idea what Carolyn was thinking as she bought the ornament...but, it meant everything to me.
Carolyn found out soon after, that she had cancer. That fighting spirit took over. She was scared and readily admitted it, but she was by no means, giving up! The church rallied around her and that first Sunday after it was announced, there were many that stood in line waiting to hug her. She gave great hugs!
We lost Carolyn in March 2008. My heart broke for her all of her family, but especially Beth. She is my age. We graduated from school together. It made me aware of the fact that my own mother was aging and we just never know how much time we have left together. Carolyn left behind a husband that had already lost one wife to cancer. Wherever you saw Carolyn, Gary was by her side. Her three girls and grandchildren. How blessed they all were to know her and love her.
Carolyn....in memory of you....I took a walk with my husband the other day and held his hand for the entire three mile walk. I called my oldest daughter just to say I love you and I am thinking of you! Today, I am thanking God for the family He has blessed me with. I am going to make time for them and love them.
Thank you God...for sending this angel into my life at a time that meant so much!
I was very blessed to have known Carolyn since I was a child. She worked in my dentist's office and I went to school with her daughter Beth. Beth and I were good friends in elementary school and in 4th or 5th grade, we went to see the play "Wind In The Willows" together.
When I began coming to EUMC in July 2007, I hadn't seen Carolyn in years. She came and spoke to me at church and I had the distinct impression that I knew her, but had no idea how. When she told me that she knew my mother and that I had gone to school with Beth, I was so happy that now....I knew someone in the church!
When Ken and I got engaged, we knew that we were going to be married out of town in a very small wedding of family only. We planned to have a reception the following week at our new church as we wanted to include our new church family. Carolyn was the first person to offer her assistance. She always seemed to have boundless energy. I called her my little firecracker. She was always happy and had this beautiful smile. More than anything, she loved her family. She was especially proud of her three girls. She always had a story for me about her girls or the grandchildren. Simply....she just loved life.
My favorite memory of Carolyn was of mine and Ken's first Christmas together as a married couple. I was putting up our tree one night before Christmas while Ken was teaching a Discipleship Class. As I pulled out all of the decorations, I realized that these were all Ken's ornaments. As I opened each little box and took out the ornament, it saddened me because these were from another time...before me, before "us" as a couple. I was hanging all of these ornaments and they meant nothing to me. There was no little story that sprang to mind as I uncovered each decoration. Nothing was "ours."
The next morning, Carolyn dropped by with a gift and we chatted for a few minutes and she went on her way. After she left, I decided to go ahead and open the gift and not wait until Christmas. I unwrapped the gift and pulled aside the tissue paper and as I looked at the gift, I cried. Inside the box was a beautiful glass snowflake ornament that had imprinted on the front...."Our 1st Christmas Together." I actually picked it up and kissed it and hugged it to me. I hung it on OUR tree immediately. I have no idea what Carolyn was thinking as she bought the ornament...but, it meant everything to me.
Carolyn found out soon after, that she had cancer. That fighting spirit took over. She was scared and readily admitted it, but she was by no means, giving up! The church rallied around her and that first Sunday after it was announced, there were many that stood in line waiting to hug her. She gave great hugs!
We lost Carolyn in March 2008. My heart broke for her all of her family, but especially Beth. She is my age. We graduated from school together. It made me aware of the fact that my own mother was aging and we just never know how much time we have left together. Carolyn left behind a husband that had already lost one wife to cancer. Wherever you saw Carolyn, Gary was by her side. Her three girls and grandchildren. How blessed they all were to know her and love her.
Carolyn....in memory of you....I took a walk with my husband the other day and held his hand for the entire three mile walk. I called my oldest daughter just to say I love you and I am thinking of you! Today, I am thanking God for the family He has blessed me with. I am going to make time for them and love them.
Thank you God...for sending this angel into my life at a time that meant so much!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Angels I've Entertained
As a pastor's wife, I have tried to be as open and honest as I can concerning the ups and downs of being thrust into a life that I had no idea of all it entailed when I married my husband. At times I have struggled with things and there have been other times that I feel, God has given me the grace to rise to the occasion. There are so many blessings that come with being the wife of a minister. I am able to be at my husband's side when visiting at the hospital. I am able to sit on the front pew every Sunday as my husband delivers the message that God has laid on his heart. I have been blessed to be able to give the children's message every Sunday morning, as my husband proudly looks on from behind. Finally, as we move into our third year of marriage, I am feeling confident enough (through God only)to take on a Sunday School class of teenagers. I can truly see and feel the areas that God has helped me to grow in over the first two years of our marriage.
Sadly, there is one area that I do not like and I still struggle with on a daily basis. Funerals. I love getting to know everyone in our congregation. As I have met each person and gotten to know them as days go by, I learn little things about their lives. What their personalities are like. Who they are married to. How many children they have. Their proud faces as they tell of their grand children's accomplishments. Funny stories of when they were younger. All of this I truly treasure and love.
However, as in all things, nothing lasts forever. Going into the church for the first time, I was scared to death. I wondered if any of them would like me. I worried that I would never be able to put a face with the name. Surely they would take one look at me and realize immediately that I was just not Preacher's Wife material! That did not happen. I was welcomed with open arms. When I made mistakes, they were and continue to be patient. I have loved and been loved in return many times over. The only trouble with this is....when these precious loved ones go on to be with the Lord, I am incredibly sad, not only for myself, but the family they leave behind.
Last week, we had to say goodbye yet again to a very special man that I have loved so dearly since first laying eyes on him. Tom Brewer. After his funeral, I came home and I was just so sad and a little upset with God. He had taken so many from us in the short two years we have been at this church.
Carolyn. Mr. Paul. Sara. William. Rusty. Helen. Marilyn. Betsy.
These are just names to people that never had the pleasure of knowing them, but to me...I have decided that they are angels that God had on this earth. The Bible speaks of entertaining angels. "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2
When my husband was placed at this church, all of these wonderful people were strangers to me and I to them. As time has gone on, I have gotten to know them and they have known me. In many ways, these people have touched my life. Instead of allowing myself to feel saddened and depressed over their passing, God has laid upon my heart to tell about each ANGEL that I've been blessed to entertain. They have all become family to me.
For the next few weeks, I plan to blog about these uniquely special people one at a time. I want you to get to know them through me. My hope is that you will take the time to stop and think of those that have made an impact on your life, big or small, and acknowledge them in some way. I pray that the people I am writing about, knew that I loved them and even though I miss them, I celebrate their life!
Thank you Lord, for all of the Angels that You have sent my way and continue to send... I pray that I entertain them in ways that glorify You!
Sadly, there is one area that I do not like and I still struggle with on a daily basis. Funerals. I love getting to know everyone in our congregation. As I have met each person and gotten to know them as days go by, I learn little things about their lives. What their personalities are like. Who they are married to. How many children they have. Their proud faces as they tell of their grand children's accomplishments. Funny stories of when they were younger. All of this I truly treasure and love.
However, as in all things, nothing lasts forever. Going into the church for the first time, I was scared to death. I wondered if any of them would like me. I worried that I would never be able to put a face with the name. Surely they would take one look at me and realize immediately that I was just not Preacher's Wife material! That did not happen. I was welcomed with open arms. When I made mistakes, they were and continue to be patient. I have loved and been loved in return many times over. The only trouble with this is....when these precious loved ones go on to be with the Lord, I am incredibly sad, not only for myself, but the family they leave behind.
Last week, we had to say goodbye yet again to a very special man that I have loved so dearly since first laying eyes on him. Tom Brewer. After his funeral, I came home and I was just so sad and a little upset with God. He had taken so many from us in the short two years we have been at this church.
Carolyn. Mr. Paul. Sara. William. Rusty. Helen. Marilyn. Betsy.
These are just names to people that never had the pleasure of knowing them, but to me...I have decided that they are angels that God had on this earth. The Bible speaks of entertaining angels. "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2
When my husband was placed at this church, all of these wonderful people were strangers to me and I to them. As time has gone on, I have gotten to know them and they have known me. In many ways, these people have touched my life. Instead of allowing myself to feel saddened and depressed over their passing, God has laid upon my heart to tell about each ANGEL that I've been blessed to entertain. They have all become family to me.
For the next few weeks, I plan to blog about these uniquely special people one at a time. I want you to get to know them through me. My hope is that you will take the time to stop and think of those that have made an impact on your life, big or small, and acknowledge them in some way. I pray that the people I am writing about, knew that I loved them and even though I miss them, I celebrate their life!
Thank you Lord, for all of the Angels that You have sent my way and continue to send... I pray that I entertain them in ways that glorify You!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A Mother's Heart
As most of you know, I have just returned home a couple of days ago, after having spent two weeks in New York with my daughter Ryan. On July 23rd, I was up early and walking out the door to go to the dentist, when I received a frantic text message from my pregnant daughter. Ryan was about 32 weeks along and felt as if she was going into premature labor. This had happened before, so it was cause for alarm. I went on to my appointment and waited to find out what was going on with her.
To get a complete understanding as to why it sent me into immediate panic mode...you have to know all of the other things going on at the same time. One week before this, Ryan's husband had left to go to Iraq. She has three children...Layne 4, Kenny 3 and Zoe 21 months old. Not only having her hands full with the children, as she was going into labor, her house was full of moving people packing all of her belongings to move her onto post housing. Knowing she is pretty much alone, I book a flight and fly out there the same day. I get there late that night and thus begins endless trips to the hospital and doctor office visits. During this time, I was trying to get my daughter unpacked and run after three very rambunctious kids, plus do laundry and all of the other things that needed to be tended to.
I truly enjoyed the time spent with my grandchildren. Giving them a bath each night and putting them to bed. Playing at the park with them. Singing to them and rocking them and kissing boo boos. Just being able to do all of the things that most grandparents that live close to their grandkids, take for granted, was a miracle in and of itself. As tired as I was at the end of each day, it was a good kind of tired. It was time well spent.
The hard part came on Thursday of this week. I had no choice but to return home. I had my little girl at home that had now been two weeks without her mommy. She had started school...her first day passed without mommy there. She had signed up for cheerleading and had her first practice...without mommy on the sideline cheering her on. She got to sing at a special service and mommy was not there to hear her. So many little things that mean a lot. My husband was missing me and I was truly missing him. We have some things coming up at church that I needed to be there to attend. As I walked out the door on Thursday morning to go to the airport, my mother's heart was torn in two. I wanted to be in two different places and it was not possible. I cried all the way to the airport and even on the planes. I wanted to be with both daughters and couldn't.
I have been in constant touch with Ryan since coming home. Thank God for computers and cell phones. It is not the same as being there, but the next best thing. I am praying that God will heal my heart and the pain I feel. Having to leave your very pregnant daughter alone in a new place with three children and a husband away at war, would break the hardest of hearts. We mothers tend to carry guilt with us at all times. Even though in my heart of hearts I know, that I have done everything that I could do....it still hurt to leave her.
Mothers tend to want to kiss the pain away. We want to fix everything. The hardest part was NOT when they were younger and getting up at night or running them to and from all of their activities or taking them to the doctor. No, the hard part has been watching them as adults try and make their way in this world. Realizing that there are some things, MANY things, that will pop up in life that I have no control over and cannot protect them from.
This mother's heart is sad today. I want to make it all better and can't. I have to turn it completely over to God. He, and He alone...can make it all better for Ryan. Plus, He can soothe this mother's heart!
To get a complete understanding as to why it sent me into immediate panic mode...you have to know all of the other things going on at the same time. One week before this, Ryan's husband had left to go to Iraq. She has three children...Layne 4, Kenny 3 and Zoe 21 months old. Not only having her hands full with the children, as she was going into labor, her house was full of moving people packing all of her belongings to move her onto post housing. Knowing she is pretty much alone, I book a flight and fly out there the same day. I get there late that night and thus begins endless trips to the hospital and doctor office visits. During this time, I was trying to get my daughter unpacked and run after three very rambunctious kids, plus do laundry and all of the other things that needed to be tended to.
I truly enjoyed the time spent with my grandchildren. Giving them a bath each night and putting them to bed. Playing at the park with them. Singing to them and rocking them and kissing boo boos. Just being able to do all of the things that most grandparents that live close to their grandkids, take for granted, was a miracle in and of itself. As tired as I was at the end of each day, it was a good kind of tired. It was time well spent.
The hard part came on Thursday of this week. I had no choice but to return home. I had my little girl at home that had now been two weeks without her mommy. She had started school...her first day passed without mommy there. She had signed up for cheerleading and had her first practice...without mommy on the sideline cheering her on. She got to sing at a special service and mommy was not there to hear her. So many little things that mean a lot. My husband was missing me and I was truly missing him. We have some things coming up at church that I needed to be there to attend. As I walked out the door on Thursday morning to go to the airport, my mother's heart was torn in two. I wanted to be in two different places and it was not possible. I cried all the way to the airport and even on the planes. I wanted to be with both daughters and couldn't.
I have been in constant touch with Ryan since coming home. Thank God for computers and cell phones. It is not the same as being there, but the next best thing. I am praying that God will heal my heart and the pain I feel. Having to leave your very pregnant daughter alone in a new place with three children and a husband away at war, would break the hardest of hearts. We mothers tend to carry guilt with us at all times. Even though in my heart of hearts I know, that I have done everything that I could do....it still hurt to leave her.
Mothers tend to want to kiss the pain away. We want to fix everything. The hardest part was NOT when they were younger and getting up at night or running them to and from all of their activities or taking them to the doctor. No, the hard part has been watching them as adults try and make their way in this world. Realizing that there are some things, MANY things, that will pop up in life that I have no control over and cannot protect them from.
This mother's heart is sad today. I want to make it all better and can't. I have to turn it completely over to God. He, and He alone...can make it all better for Ryan. Plus, He can soothe this mother's heart!
Friday, July 3, 2009
MY Thoughts & Feelings On Michael Jackson
As I walked on the treadmill this morning at the gym, the television was programmed to CNN. As we all know, Michael Jackson and his premature death has dominated the news, as it should. Michael Jackson and his genius, along with his music, changed the world. Having said that, there is an alarming trend that is becoming all too familiar when a "celebrity" passes on. The media becomes relentless. They will go to the ends of the earth to dig up some "dirt" on the deceased. While I do understand (and despise) that this is what sells, it is disheartening and unacceptable, nontheless! Regardless of what Michael Jackson meant to you or myself personally, this was a man that was part of a REAL family. He was a father to three beautiful children that he loved and that loved their DADDY. He was the son and brother of a very big family that he loved and that loved him.
While all of us can hear a song of his and immediately be transported back in time and pinpoint where we were and what the song meant to us....we didn't know Michael Jackson. I grew up with four brothers in my house and each has their own little idiosyncrasies that make them who they are. I know the name of the girl that my oldest brother took to prom his senior year. I have another brother that wrote and sang a strange little ditty titled "Onion Breath" and I know the actual meaning behind the song. Another brother had a treasured stuffed panda bear named MingMing that he slept with for most of his childhood. My youngest brother called me ZsaZsa when he was little and thought that there really was a Tinkerbell. Now, what does all of that have to do with Michael Jackson, you ask. Simply, there are many things that happen within a family that makes you a FAMILY. You may know things about your relative that noone else knows and that is the way that it is suppose to be. Our families are our "safe havens." Our place to go when the world outside is cold and lonely or when there are joys to share.
I loved Michael Jackson's music. There were times that a specific song made me dance, or tap my foot to the beat or hum along and at times, I would even sing out loud (usually when I was alone in the car or in the shower!). I never once thought of what his race was, how old he was, his sexual orientation, how much money he had or if he was in debt. Those things NEVER occured to me while I was enjoying his music. I was just always so caught up in the music. The universal language. So, someone please explain to me and make me understand, why, now that this man is dead, why the media feels the need to dissect every area of his life? What is the purpose of this? I do not feel the need to know everything that the man has ever done in life. How would we feel if each time anything happened in our life...I will use myself as an example...if I had been to the gym and pulled a muscle, for instance, and did not go to the doctor but my sister had a prescription of muscle relaxers and gave me a few and the next day, I was front page news...Julia Wallace Local Pastor's Wife Caught Buying Illegal Drugs....or if I felt the need to snap at my daughter to keep her from running out into a busy street and the next day, yet again, I am front page news, only this time I am now "abusive." This may seem rather far fetched to a lot of you, but these things can and do happen to the "celebrity" every day.
I am a Pastor's wife and there are many times that I feel like I am under a microscope for all to see. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. The luxury that I have is I am not in the spotlight all the time. I do not have people that are hounding me each time I walk out my door or snapping pictures at my most inopportune moments. I am thankful for this.
Michael Jackson has died. I will truly miss his music. What I would like to hear about now is all of the good things that he did for others. All of the money that he gave to help those less fortunate. The lives that he touched in a positive way. When the media chooses to show the world his beloved Neverland Ranch, please just help the outside world see how serene and beautiful it is. Don't make a huge deal out of the fact that he had a safety room, from what I hear many public people have them, and for good reason! No need to comment on "this room was included in the investigation when he was charged with..." (Matt Lauer). Also, keep in mind that there is a beautiful, wonderful family out there grieving for the loss of their loved one....Michael Jackson, a man that we only knew through his music. Our lives will be a little sad over losing one of the world's greatest talents ever, but we will go on. This is going to affect his children, his mother and father and siblings, nieces and nephews, in ways that we cannot understand and for the rest of their lives. While I am sure that his family truly appreciates the outpouring of love from fans, they are living this nightmare in a way we are not. It must be torture to have to hear every single minute detail of their loved one's life every where they turn.
I do not have the right to know everything that happened in Michael's life nor do I want to. Yes, he was a celebrity. But, more than that, he was a human being. All of this media blitz has reminded me of when Anna Nicole Smith died and the circus like atmosphere that surrounded her death and the custody battle that it seemed the bloodthirsty media was anticipating. Even then, there was a precious little baby that had lost her mother and a father that knew he was her daddy and wanted nothing more than to embrace that role. These are real people going through real heartache. What has happened to our humanity?
Today I read something that a celebrity had twittered about having a "White Trash Party" and she was going as "Octomom" and yet again, I was pained that one human being was belittling another human being that more than likely, she had never met. We are not put on this earth to hurt each other or judge each other. We must start opening our hearts to love instead of our mouths to degrade and ostracize.
My heart goes out to the Jackson family for THEIR loss. God bless and keep them all. I was also impressed beyond measure with Reverand Al Sharpton last night as he spoke with a reporter on CNN about Michael Jackson. He nailed it and I am sure that Michael was cheering from heaven! Michael tried to share love on earth....let's follow that lead!
While all of us can hear a song of his and immediately be transported back in time and pinpoint where we were and what the song meant to us....we didn't know Michael Jackson. I grew up with four brothers in my house and each has their own little idiosyncrasies that make them who they are. I know the name of the girl that my oldest brother took to prom his senior year. I have another brother that wrote and sang a strange little ditty titled "Onion Breath" and I know the actual meaning behind the song. Another brother had a treasured stuffed panda bear named MingMing that he slept with for most of his childhood. My youngest brother called me ZsaZsa when he was little and thought that there really was a Tinkerbell. Now, what does all of that have to do with Michael Jackson, you ask. Simply, there are many things that happen within a family that makes you a FAMILY. You may know things about your relative that noone else knows and that is the way that it is suppose to be. Our families are our "safe havens." Our place to go when the world outside is cold and lonely or when there are joys to share.
I loved Michael Jackson's music. There were times that a specific song made me dance, or tap my foot to the beat or hum along and at times, I would even sing out loud (usually when I was alone in the car or in the shower!). I never once thought of what his race was, how old he was, his sexual orientation, how much money he had or if he was in debt. Those things NEVER occured to me while I was enjoying his music. I was just always so caught up in the music. The universal language. So, someone please explain to me and make me understand, why, now that this man is dead, why the media feels the need to dissect every area of his life? What is the purpose of this? I do not feel the need to know everything that the man has ever done in life. How would we feel if each time anything happened in our life...I will use myself as an example...if I had been to the gym and pulled a muscle, for instance, and did not go to the doctor but my sister had a prescription of muscle relaxers and gave me a few and the next day, I was front page news...Julia Wallace Local Pastor's Wife Caught Buying Illegal Drugs....or if I felt the need to snap at my daughter to keep her from running out into a busy street and the next day, yet again, I am front page news, only this time I am now "abusive." This may seem rather far fetched to a lot of you, but these things can and do happen to the "celebrity" every day.
I am a Pastor's wife and there are many times that I feel like I am under a microscope for all to see. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. The luxury that I have is I am not in the spotlight all the time. I do not have people that are hounding me each time I walk out my door or snapping pictures at my most inopportune moments. I am thankful for this.
Michael Jackson has died. I will truly miss his music. What I would like to hear about now is all of the good things that he did for others. All of the money that he gave to help those less fortunate. The lives that he touched in a positive way. When the media chooses to show the world his beloved Neverland Ranch, please just help the outside world see how serene and beautiful it is. Don't make a huge deal out of the fact that he had a safety room, from what I hear many public people have them, and for good reason! No need to comment on "this room was included in the investigation when he was charged with..." (Matt Lauer). Also, keep in mind that there is a beautiful, wonderful family out there grieving for the loss of their loved one....Michael Jackson, a man that we only knew through his music. Our lives will be a little sad over losing one of the world's greatest talents ever, but we will go on. This is going to affect his children, his mother and father and siblings, nieces and nephews, in ways that we cannot understand and for the rest of their lives. While I am sure that his family truly appreciates the outpouring of love from fans, they are living this nightmare in a way we are not. It must be torture to have to hear every single minute detail of their loved one's life every where they turn.
I do not have the right to know everything that happened in Michael's life nor do I want to. Yes, he was a celebrity. But, more than that, he was a human being. All of this media blitz has reminded me of when Anna Nicole Smith died and the circus like atmosphere that surrounded her death and the custody battle that it seemed the bloodthirsty media was anticipating. Even then, there was a precious little baby that had lost her mother and a father that knew he was her daddy and wanted nothing more than to embrace that role. These are real people going through real heartache. What has happened to our humanity?
Today I read something that a celebrity had twittered about having a "White Trash Party" and she was going as "Octomom" and yet again, I was pained that one human being was belittling another human being that more than likely, she had never met. We are not put on this earth to hurt each other or judge each other. We must start opening our hearts to love instead of our mouths to degrade and ostracize.
My heart goes out to the Jackson family for THEIR loss. God bless and keep them all. I was also impressed beyond measure with Reverand Al Sharpton last night as he spoke with a reporter on CNN about Michael Jackson. He nailed it and I am sure that Michael was cheering from heaven! Michael tried to share love on earth....let's follow that lead!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
My Little Piece of Heaven
As most of you know, I am the proud mother of three children. What some do not know, my youngest child was not conceived of my womb, but in my heart. I gave birth to my two oldest children, Ryan Victoria and Zachary Keith, as most mothers do. Ryan, my oldest daughter, was the perfect first baby to have. I felt great throughout the entire pregnancy, not one moment of morning sickness. I gained a little over 17 pounds. My water broke at 3:30 in the morning, labor pains started at a little after 4:00 a.m. and by 5:29 a.m., after two pushes, I had a beautiful, healthy 8 lb. 6 1/2 baby girl.
Zachary, however, made me work much harder for him. I had morning sickness, I believe from the moment of conception (or so it seemed!). I gained over 80 lbs, how I do not understand as I threw up from the time I woke up until I went to sleep at night. I felt exhausted the entire nine months. I went into labor and he was breech. They, for some reason known only to them and God, did not attempt a c-section, but allowed me to deliver this 10 lb baby boy, vaginally, and did I mention NATURALLY? I pushed for almost 3 hours and got a little bottom popped out, one leg, and then another and by the time that I got to his shoulders, they realized I was fading and put me under. Coming out of the fog, I could hear someone saying, "This is the lady that gave birth to the 10 pounder." and in my fog induced state I thought, "That poor woman." ( The poor woman was myself!)
After Zach, I was finished with having babies. So sure of this fact, now that I had my girl and my boy, I had my tubes tied. Just so you all know, no matter what we do in life, if God has other plans, He will make it happen.
Fast forward to my oldest daughter's junior year in high school. She comes home one day and tells me about this young girl at her school that is pregnant. Ryan tells me that the young mother to be has been raised in foster care since she was 3 years old and that the kids at school are not very nice to her. Sara ( not her real name), is poor and has a chip on her shoulder that has been a permanent fixture all 16 years of her life. I suggest to Ryan, that since she is a popular kid, she should befriend this young girl and the other kids will follow suit. Ryan not only befriends Sara, she takes her to doctor appointments and even has her over to our house on several occasions. I will never forget one time, soon after finding out that she was carrying a girl, Sara told me, "Well, this kid is going to have to live without affection, because I don't do affection. I didn't have it growing up and I turned out fine." I knew that was not true, and for a minute, my heart broke for her unborn child.
Ryan continued to go to each and every doctor appointment. She was thrilled when she found out Sara was having a little girl and was in the delivery room the day that the baby was born. Ryan was even given the honor of cutting the umbilical cord. Sara had gone into premature labor and the baby was born 2 1/2 months early weighing in under 4 lbs.
One night when the baby was about 2 months old, Ryan asked if she could bring her home on a Friday night to spend the night with us. I told her that it was fine, but SHE was going to be the one to get up with this baby because "my baby days are OVER!!!" After assuring me that she would, I consented. When she walked through the door with that baby, my mommy heart melted. She was tiny and looked so vulnerable. Ryan shared with me that the baby's mother had recently "joined" the carnival and had taken this precious child and she sat in an infant seat in a popcorn wagon all day and all night as her mother worked. When she fell asleep at night, the mother would lock down the wagon and go off to the fairway and ride the rides and "hang out." There was no telling how often this baby had cried and not been heard.
This started a pattern and the baby spent a lot of time at our house. My daughter had helped Sara name the baby...Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards). When Nevaeh was 3 months old, her mother asked me if I wanted to adopt her. She was just turning 18 years old, had dropped out of school her senior year and had no prospect of a job. She was willing to sign away all parental rights. The father of the baby, was in prison, but was soon to be released. Little did I know, that at that very moment, Sara was already pregnant again.
We went through all the proper channels and one year later, Nevaeh was ours. The adoption was finalized the day before her big sister's wedding. Nevaeh was the flower girl, while Zach was a groomsman.
Several days after Ryan's wedding, two things happened that will stay in my memory forever. First, I was cleaning out the closet in Ryan's bedroom she had just vacated. I found a journal and noticed what looked to be a black and white picture sticking out of the top. It was Nevaeh's first ultrasound picture. I opened the journal to the date of Nevaeh's birth and Ryan had written "Today I watched my little sister come into this world. I cut her umbilical cord and I held her first. I don't know why, but she feels like my little sister." I cry as I think of that now. She had written this way before we even contemplated adoption. The second thing was, my son had to write a report on something extraordinary that happened in his life. He wrote about his baby sister's adoption. He wrote "Heaven Graced us with her presence and now she is a Young."
I was finished with having children. My baby days were over. I had my boy and my girl. I had the tubes tied! For 14 years, I was perfectly happy with the two children I had given birth to. However, God had other plans for me. My daughter was born, from another woman's womb, but my child nonetheless. Nevaeh Grace Young was born to be my little girl. She is and will forever be, my blessing straight from heaven above!
Zachary, however, made me work much harder for him. I had morning sickness, I believe from the moment of conception (or so it seemed!). I gained over 80 lbs, how I do not understand as I threw up from the time I woke up until I went to sleep at night. I felt exhausted the entire nine months. I went into labor and he was breech. They, for some reason known only to them and God, did not attempt a c-section, but allowed me to deliver this 10 lb baby boy, vaginally, and did I mention NATURALLY? I pushed for almost 3 hours and got a little bottom popped out, one leg, and then another and by the time that I got to his shoulders, they realized I was fading and put me under. Coming out of the fog, I could hear someone saying, "This is the lady that gave birth to the 10 pounder." and in my fog induced state I thought, "That poor woman." ( The poor woman was myself!)
After Zach, I was finished with having babies. So sure of this fact, now that I had my girl and my boy, I had my tubes tied. Just so you all know, no matter what we do in life, if God has other plans, He will make it happen.
Fast forward to my oldest daughter's junior year in high school. She comes home one day and tells me about this young girl at her school that is pregnant. Ryan tells me that the young mother to be has been raised in foster care since she was 3 years old and that the kids at school are not very nice to her. Sara ( not her real name), is poor and has a chip on her shoulder that has been a permanent fixture all 16 years of her life. I suggest to Ryan, that since she is a popular kid, she should befriend this young girl and the other kids will follow suit. Ryan not only befriends Sara, she takes her to doctor appointments and even has her over to our house on several occasions. I will never forget one time, soon after finding out that she was carrying a girl, Sara told me, "Well, this kid is going to have to live without affection, because I don't do affection. I didn't have it growing up and I turned out fine." I knew that was not true, and for a minute, my heart broke for her unborn child.
Ryan continued to go to each and every doctor appointment. She was thrilled when she found out Sara was having a little girl and was in the delivery room the day that the baby was born. Ryan was even given the honor of cutting the umbilical cord. Sara had gone into premature labor and the baby was born 2 1/2 months early weighing in under 4 lbs.
One night when the baby was about 2 months old, Ryan asked if she could bring her home on a Friday night to spend the night with us. I told her that it was fine, but SHE was going to be the one to get up with this baby because "my baby days are OVER!!!" After assuring me that she would, I consented. When she walked through the door with that baby, my mommy heart melted. She was tiny and looked so vulnerable. Ryan shared with me that the baby's mother had recently "joined" the carnival and had taken this precious child and she sat in an infant seat in a popcorn wagon all day and all night as her mother worked. When she fell asleep at night, the mother would lock down the wagon and go off to the fairway and ride the rides and "hang out." There was no telling how often this baby had cried and not been heard.
This started a pattern and the baby spent a lot of time at our house. My daughter had helped Sara name the baby...Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards). When Nevaeh was 3 months old, her mother asked me if I wanted to adopt her. She was just turning 18 years old, had dropped out of school her senior year and had no prospect of a job. She was willing to sign away all parental rights. The father of the baby, was in prison, but was soon to be released. Little did I know, that at that very moment, Sara was already pregnant again.
We went through all the proper channels and one year later, Nevaeh was ours. The adoption was finalized the day before her big sister's wedding. Nevaeh was the flower girl, while Zach was a groomsman.
Several days after Ryan's wedding, two things happened that will stay in my memory forever. First, I was cleaning out the closet in Ryan's bedroom she had just vacated. I found a journal and noticed what looked to be a black and white picture sticking out of the top. It was Nevaeh's first ultrasound picture. I opened the journal to the date of Nevaeh's birth and Ryan had written "Today I watched my little sister come into this world. I cut her umbilical cord and I held her first. I don't know why, but she feels like my little sister." I cry as I think of that now. She had written this way before we even contemplated adoption. The second thing was, my son had to write a report on something extraordinary that happened in his life. He wrote about his baby sister's adoption. He wrote "Heaven Graced us with her presence and now she is a Young."
I was finished with having children. My baby days were over. I had my boy and my girl. I had the tubes tied! For 14 years, I was perfectly happy with the two children I had given birth to. However, God had other plans for me. My daughter was born, from another woman's womb, but my child nonetheless. Nevaeh Grace Young was born to be my little girl. She is and will forever be, my blessing straight from heaven above!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
A Day In The Life
I have had so many people to ask me what is a day in my life like.
I always find the question rather funny because being a Pastor's Wife is just like being any other's man wife. I am a stay at home wife and mother. There are the normal duties of any other mom...cleaning, cooking ( not one of my favorite things), taxi service, etc. Then, mixed in with that, I have a very busy husband, who just happens to be a Pastor. While I can only speak for myself and how I see my role as this Pastor's Wife, my role is more of a "supportive" part. I choose to remain in the background. This is where I am more comfortable.
I love to visit the nursing homes, hospitals and I always go to the funeral home when we lose a cherished member or a parishoner loses family. These are the things that I have a deep love and passion for. I never tire of doing any of the above mentioned things.
So, what is a day in the life of a Preacher's Wife? Well, I think that the question is better answered when we look at a day in my husband's life. Most pastors wives have careers of their own, and while that is great, I have no idea how they manage everything in addition. I tend to struggle with it all at times.
My husband gets up every morning about 6 a.m. and does his personal devotion and prayers. We have our coffee together and map out our day! Yesterday was not typical of all days, but we do see these type of days more often than naught. My husband was getting ready to leave for Nashville to visit an elderly member that has spent over 6 weeks in the hospital after having had his leg amputated. His wife called before Ken left and was overjoyed that at last, her husband was being released from the hospital. So, my husband decided not to go. Instead, he called another church member that had had surgery on his knee on Tuesday and his mother in law suffered a seizure on Wednesday and was in a coma and it was only a matter of time, and scheduled an earlier visit with them. He left and went to see them. I was home cleaning and packing for the annual conference we'd be attending immediately after church on Sunday. When he left their house, he called me to tell me that she was still in the coma. He had to get material to his secretary for the bulletin and then would be driving 25 miles away to visit another church member that has been battling cancer for over a year now. I got a phone call that the elderly woman in the coma, has passed away a few minutes after he left. I called him to inform him of that and immediately after ending that call, I got another call that the elderly man in Nashville was not being released after all. The doctor felt he was still too confused and wanted to observe him over the weekend. Did I mention that my husband had a Men's Cookout planned for that night at church?
I got several phone calls all day, another Pastor called to discuss funeral arrangements with my husband, members calling asking about the cookout, the wife calling about her husband that was in the hospital and always we have people call needing help with electric bills or food. I field all of these calls and pass them on to my husband and where he cannot be, I go. We like to call it tag teaming! There are many times that there are plans made that have to be broken due to his pastoring duties and while it can be disappointing, I know that it is necessary and I am perfectly alright with that.
So, as you can see, my days are not really that different from anyone else's. Doctors wives have to share their husbands. It can be frustrating at times, lonely and there is so much sadness at times it is overwhleming, but it is the most rewarding job. I love my life and would not want to be anywhere else. I've said it many times, Ken's calling has become mine.
I always find the question rather funny because being a Pastor's Wife is just like being any other's man wife. I am a stay at home wife and mother. There are the normal duties of any other mom...cleaning, cooking ( not one of my favorite things), taxi service, etc. Then, mixed in with that, I have a very busy husband, who just happens to be a Pastor. While I can only speak for myself and how I see my role as this Pastor's Wife, my role is more of a "supportive" part. I choose to remain in the background. This is where I am more comfortable.
I love to visit the nursing homes, hospitals and I always go to the funeral home when we lose a cherished member or a parishoner loses family. These are the things that I have a deep love and passion for. I never tire of doing any of the above mentioned things.
So, what is a day in the life of a Preacher's Wife? Well, I think that the question is better answered when we look at a day in my husband's life. Most pastors wives have careers of their own, and while that is great, I have no idea how they manage everything in addition. I tend to struggle with it all at times.
My husband gets up every morning about 6 a.m. and does his personal devotion and prayers. We have our coffee together and map out our day! Yesterday was not typical of all days, but we do see these type of days more often than naught. My husband was getting ready to leave for Nashville to visit an elderly member that has spent over 6 weeks in the hospital after having had his leg amputated. His wife called before Ken left and was overjoyed that at last, her husband was being released from the hospital. So, my husband decided not to go. Instead, he called another church member that had had surgery on his knee on Tuesday and his mother in law suffered a seizure on Wednesday and was in a coma and it was only a matter of time, and scheduled an earlier visit with them. He left and went to see them. I was home cleaning and packing for the annual conference we'd be attending immediately after church on Sunday. When he left their house, he called me to tell me that she was still in the coma. He had to get material to his secretary for the bulletin and then would be driving 25 miles away to visit another church member that has been battling cancer for over a year now. I got a phone call that the elderly woman in the coma, has passed away a few minutes after he left. I called him to inform him of that and immediately after ending that call, I got another call that the elderly man in Nashville was not being released after all. The doctor felt he was still too confused and wanted to observe him over the weekend. Did I mention that my husband had a Men's Cookout planned for that night at church?
I got several phone calls all day, another Pastor called to discuss funeral arrangements with my husband, members calling asking about the cookout, the wife calling about her husband that was in the hospital and always we have people call needing help with electric bills or food. I field all of these calls and pass them on to my husband and where he cannot be, I go. We like to call it tag teaming! There are many times that there are plans made that have to be broken due to his pastoring duties and while it can be disappointing, I know that it is necessary and I am perfectly alright with that.
So, as you can see, my days are not really that different from anyone else's. Doctors wives have to share their husbands. It can be frustrating at times, lonely and there is so much sadness at times it is overwhleming, but it is the most rewarding job. I love my life and would not want to be anywhere else. I've said it many times, Ken's calling has become mine.
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