As most of you know, I am the proud mother of three children. What some do not know, my youngest child was not conceived of my womb, but in my heart. I gave birth to my two oldest children, Ryan Victoria and Zachary Keith, as most mothers do. Ryan, my oldest daughter, was the perfect first baby to have. I felt great throughout the entire pregnancy, not one moment of morning sickness. I gained a little over 17 pounds. My water broke at 3:30 in the morning, labor pains started at a little after 4:00 a.m. and by 5:29 a.m., after two pushes, I had a beautiful, healthy 8 lb. 6 1/2 baby girl.
Zachary, however, made me work much harder for him. I had morning sickness, I believe from the moment of conception (or so it seemed!). I gained over 80 lbs, how I do not understand as I threw up from the time I woke up until I went to sleep at night. I felt exhausted the entire nine months. I went into labor and he was breech. They, for some reason known only to them and God, did not attempt a c-section, but allowed me to deliver this 10 lb baby boy, vaginally, and did I mention NATURALLY? I pushed for almost 3 hours and got a little bottom popped out, one leg, and then another and by the time that I got to his shoulders, they realized I was fading and put me under. Coming out of the fog, I could hear someone saying, "This is the lady that gave birth to the 10 pounder." and in my fog induced state I thought, "That poor woman." ( The poor woman was myself!)
After Zach, I was finished with having babies. So sure of this fact, now that I had my girl and my boy, I had my tubes tied. Just so you all know, no matter what we do in life, if God has other plans, He will make it happen.
Fast forward to my oldest daughter's junior year in high school. She comes home one day and tells me about this young girl at her school that is pregnant. Ryan tells me that the young mother to be has been raised in foster care since she was 3 years old and that the kids at school are not very nice to her. Sara ( not her real name), is poor and has a chip on her shoulder that has been a permanent fixture all 16 years of her life. I suggest to Ryan, that since she is a popular kid, she should befriend this young girl and the other kids will follow suit. Ryan not only befriends Sara, she takes her to doctor appointments and even has her over to our house on several occasions. I will never forget one time, soon after finding out that she was carrying a girl, Sara told me, "Well, this kid is going to have to live without affection, because I don't do affection. I didn't have it growing up and I turned out fine." I knew that was not true, and for a minute, my heart broke for her unborn child.
Ryan continued to go to each and every doctor appointment. She was thrilled when she found out Sara was having a little girl and was in the delivery room the day that the baby was born. Ryan was even given the honor of cutting the umbilical cord. Sara had gone into premature labor and the baby was born 2 1/2 months early weighing in under 4 lbs.
One night when the baby was about 2 months old, Ryan asked if she could bring her home on a Friday night to spend the night with us. I told her that it was fine, but SHE was going to be the one to get up with this baby because "my baby days are OVER!!!" After assuring me that she would, I consented. When she walked through the door with that baby, my mommy heart melted. She was tiny and looked so vulnerable. Ryan shared with me that the baby's mother had recently "joined" the carnival and had taken this precious child and she sat in an infant seat in a popcorn wagon all day and all night as her mother worked. When she fell asleep at night, the mother would lock down the wagon and go off to the fairway and ride the rides and "hang out." There was no telling how often this baby had cried and not been heard.
This started a pattern and the baby spent a lot of time at our house. My daughter had helped Sara name the baby...Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards). When Nevaeh was 3 months old, her mother asked me if I wanted to adopt her. She was just turning 18 years old, had dropped out of school her senior year and had no prospect of a job. She was willing to sign away all parental rights. The father of the baby, was in prison, but was soon to be released. Little did I know, that at that very moment, Sara was already pregnant again.
We went through all the proper channels and one year later, Nevaeh was ours. The adoption was finalized the day before her big sister's wedding. Nevaeh was the flower girl, while Zach was a groomsman.
Several days after Ryan's wedding, two things happened that will stay in my memory forever. First, I was cleaning out the closet in Ryan's bedroom she had just vacated. I found a journal and noticed what looked to be a black and white picture sticking out of the top. It was Nevaeh's first ultrasound picture. I opened the journal to the date of Nevaeh's birth and Ryan had written "Today I watched my little sister come into this world. I cut her umbilical cord and I held her first. I don't know why, but she feels like my little sister." I cry as I think of that now. She had written this way before we even contemplated adoption. The second thing was, my son had to write a report on something extraordinary that happened in his life. He wrote about his baby sister's adoption. He wrote "Heaven Graced us with her presence and now she is a Young."
I was finished with having children. My baby days were over. I had my boy and my girl. I had the tubes tied! For 14 years, I was perfectly happy with the two children I had given birth to. However, God had other plans for me. My daughter was born, from another woman's womb, but my child nonetheless. Nevaeh Grace Young was born to be my little girl. She is and will forever be, my blessing straight from heaven above!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
A Day In The Life
I have had so many people to ask me what is a day in my life like.
I always find the question rather funny because being a Pastor's Wife is just like being any other's man wife. I am a stay at home wife and mother. There are the normal duties of any other mom...cleaning, cooking ( not one of my favorite things), taxi service, etc. Then, mixed in with that, I have a very busy husband, who just happens to be a Pastor. While I can only speak for myself and how I see my role as this Pastor's Wife, my role is more of a "supportive" part. I choose to remain in the background. This is where I am more comfortable.
I love to visit the nursing homes, hospitals and I always go to the funeral home when we lose a cherished member or a parishoner loses family. These are the things that I have a deep love and passion for. I never tire of doing any of the above mentioned things.
So, what is a day in the life of a Preacher's Wife? Well, I think that the question is better answered when we look at a day in my husband's life. Most pastors wives have careers of their own, and while that is great, I have no idea how they manage everything in addition. I tend to struggle with it all at times.
My husband gets up every morning about 6 a.m. and does his personal devotion and prayers. We have our coffee together and map out our day! Yesterday was not typical of all days, but we do see these type of days more often than naught. My husband was getting ready to leave for Nashville to visit an elderly member that has spent over 6 weeks in the hospital after having had his leg amputated. His wife called before Ken left and was overjoyed that at last, her husband was being released from the hospital. So, my husband decided not to go. Instead, he called another church member that had had surgery on his knee on Tuesday and his mother in law suffered a seizure on Wednesday and was in a coma and it was only a matter of time, and scheduled an earlier visit with them. He left and went to see them. I was home cleaning and packing for the annual conference we'd be attending immediately after church on Sunday. When he left their house, he called me to tell me that she was still in the coma. He had to get material to his secretary for the bulletin and then would be driving 25 miles away to visit another church member that has been battling cancer for over a year now. I got a phone call that the elderly woman in the coma, has passed away a few minutes after he left. I called him to inform him of that and immediately after ending that call, I got another call that the elderly man in Nashville was not being released after all. The doctor felt he was still too confused and wanted to observe him over the weekend. Did I mention that my husband had a Men's Cookout planned for that night at church?
I got several phone calls all day, another Pastor called to discuss funeral arrangements with my husband, members calling asking about the cookout, the wife calling about her husband that was in the hospital and always we have people call needing help with electric bills or food. I field all of these calls and pass them on to my husband and where he cannot be, I go. We like to call it tag teaming! There are many times that there are plans made that have to be broken due to his pastoring duties and while it can be disappointing, I know that it is necessary and I am perfectly alright with that.
So, as you can see, my days are not really that different from anyone else's. Doctors wives have to share their husbands. It can be frustrating at times, lonely and there is so much sadness at times it is overwhleming, but it is the most rewarding job. I love my life and would not want to be anywhere else. I've said it many times, Ken's calling has become mine.
I always find the question rather funny because being a Pastor's Wife is just like being any other's man wife. I am a stay at home wife and mother. There are the normal duties of any other mom...cleaning, cooking ( not one of my favorite things), taxi service, etc. Then, mixed in with that, I have a very busy husband, who just happens to be a Pastor. While I can only speak for myself and how I see my role as this Pastor's Wife, my role is more of a "supportive" part. I choose to remain in the background. This is where I am more comfortable.
I love to visit the nursing homes, hospitals and I always go to the funeral home when we lose a cherished member or a parishoner loses family. These are the things that I have a deep love and passion for. I never tire of doing any of the above mentioned things.
So, what is a day in the life of a Preacher's Wife? Well, I think that the question is better answered when we look at a day in my husband's life. Most pastors wives have careers of their own, and while that is great, I have no idea how they manage everything in addition. I tend to struggle with it all at times.
My husband gets up every morning about 6 a.m. and does his personal devotion and prayers. We have our coffee together and map out our day! Yesterday was not typical of all days, but we do see these type of days more often than naught. My husband was getting ready to leave for Nashville to visit an elderly member that has spent over 6 weeks in the hospital after having had his leg amputated. His wife called before Ken left and was overjoyed that at last, her husband was being released from the hospital. So, my husband decided not to go. Instead, he called another church member that had had surgery on his knee on Tuesday and his mother in law suffered a seizure on Wednesday and was in a coma and it was only a matter of time, and scheduled an earlier visit with them. He left and went to see them. I was home cleaning and packing for the annual conference we'd be attending immediately after church on Sunday. When he left their house, he called me to tell me that she was still in the coma. He had to get material to his secretary for the bulletin and then would be driving 25 miles away to visit another church member that has been battling cancer for over a year now. I got a phone call that the elderly woman in the coma, has passed away a few minutes after he left. I called him to inform him of that and immediately after ending that call, I got another call that the elderly man in Nashville was not being released after all. The doctor felt he was still too confused and wanted to observe him over the weekend. Did I mention that my husband had a Men's Cookout planned for that night at church?
I got several phone calls all day, another Pastor called to discuss funeral arrangements with my husband, members calling asking about the cookout, the wife calling about her husband that was in the hospital and always we have people call needing help with electric bills or food. I field all of these calls and pass them on to my husband and where he cannot be, I go. We like to call it tag teaming! There are many times that there are plans made that have to be broken due to his pastoring duties and while it can be disappointing, I know that it is necessary and I am perfectly alright with that.
So, as you can see, my days are not really that different from anyone else's. Doctors wives have to share their husbands. It can be frustrating at times, lonely and there is so much sadness at times it is overwhleming, but it is the most rewarding job. I love my life and would not want to be anywhere else. I've said it many times, Ken's calling has become mine.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
My Big OOPS!
We all have embarrassing moments. Times when we wish we could just disappear or blend into the woodwork, right? Last night, I had one of those moments.
Most of you know that I am a Pastor's Wife. What some of you may not know, I am a NEW Pastor's Wife. My husband Ken is the Pastor of a Methodist Church. We have both been married before. While Ken has been blessed to have been a Pastor for 30+ years, I have only been at this new "job" for less than 2 years. The same year that we were married, Ken had been moved to our present church and while he took to it like a duck to water, it is a well known fact that I have struggled, like a non-swimmer thrown into the deep end of a pool without a life jacket. He can go into ANY situation full of confidence and know exactly what to do and not afraid in the least to speak up and make his presence known. I, on the other hand, tend to shy away from crowds and am more than happy to do anything to "further the kingdom" in the background without a lot of fuss or attention. So, while I am completely secure in being myself around my husband and family, it has taken some time to warm up to the people at church and get to know everyone and figure out what expectations they had of this Preacher's Wife. (Let me just add, they are amazing people and so accepting and loving!)
Last night, Ken and I had decided to take Nevaeh to Chuck E Cheese for a special night, as it her was her last night home before going for a month of Summer visitation with her Dad in Ohio. She wanted her little friend Erin to come along, who just happens to be a member of our church, as are her parents. Erin's mother and I are pretty good friends and she is definately someone that I am 100% comfortable at being myself with. We went to Chuck E Cheese and had a wonderful time and on our way home, I turned on the radio to listen to music. The girls were in the back seat and they were laughing and playing and seemed totally engrossed in what they were doing. It didn't take long for me to get into my own little zone and with my Pastor hubby beside me, I was getting into the beat of the song playing. Nothing horrible about that, right? Did I happen to mention that it was Lady Gaga? Did I also fail to mention that I was singing OUT LOUD no less, "...this beat is sick, I want to take a ride on your disco stick"?
That's right. The NEW Pastor's Wife (the same one that teaches the children's message each week) was singing at the top of her lungs and doing the seat belt mambo....and a little voice from the back seat says...."What is a disco stick?" and it was NOT my child! I turned and looked at my husband with horror and he smiled and asked, "Honey, did you forget that there are kids in the car?" Hmmmm.....how was I going to explain this to her dad when he arrived to pick her up? Just as I do everything else....just frankly and honestly! He was wonderful and her mother was even better.
The song that popped into my head immediately after that was a song that had been taught to me as a child. "Oh be careful little feet where you go. Oh be careful little hands what you do. Oh be careful little ears what you hear. Oh be careful little TONGUE what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love...so....be careful little TONGUE what you say!"
I am more than sure that this applies to what we sing too!
Most of you know that I am a Pastor's Wife. What some of you may not know, I am a NEW Pastor's Wife. My husband Ken is the Pastor of a Methodist Church. We have both been married before. While Ken has been blessed to have been a Pastor for 30+ years, I have only been at this new "job" for less than 2 years. The same year that we were married, Ken had been moved to our present church and while he took to it like a duck to water, it is a well known fact that I have struggled, like a non-swimmer thrown into the deep end of a pool without a life jacket. He can go into ANY situation full of confidence and know exactly what to do and not afraid in the least to speak up and make his presence known. I, on the other hand, tend to shy away from crowds and am more than happy to do anything to "further the kingdom" in the background without a lot of fuss or attention. So, while I am completely secure in being myself around my husband and family, it has taken some time to warm up to the people at church and get to know everyone and figure out what expectations they had of this Preacher's Wife. (Let me just add, they are amazing people and so accepting and loving!)
Last night, Ken and I had decided to take Nevaeh to Chuck E Cheese for a special night, as it her was her last night home before going for a month of Summer visitation with her Dad in Ohio. She wanted her little friend Erin to come along, who just happens to be a member of our church, as are her parents. Erin's mother and I are pretty good friends and she is definately someone that I am 100% comfortable at being myself with. We went to Chuck E Cheese and had a wonderful time and on our way home, I turned on the radio to listen to music. The girls were in the back seat and they were laughing and playing and seemed totally engrossed in what they were doing. It didn't take long for me to get into my own little zone and with my Pastor hubby beside me, I was getting into the beat of the song playing. Nothing horrible about that, right? Did I happen to mention that it was Lady Gaga? Did I also fail to mention that I was singing OUT LOUD no less, "...this beat is sick, I want to take a ride on your disco stick"?
That's right. The NEW Pastor's Wife (the same one that teaches the children's message each week) was singing at the top of her lungs and doing the seat belt mambo....and a little voice from the back seat says...."What is a disco stick?" and it was NOT my child! I turned and looked at my husband with horror and he smiled and asked, "Honey, did you forget that there are kids in the car?" Hmmmm.....how was I going to explain this to her dad when he arrived to pick her up? Just as I do everything else....just frankly and honestly! He was wonderful and her mother was even better.
The song that popped into my head immediately after that was a song that had been taught to me as a child. "Oh be careful little feet where you go. Oh be careful little hands what you do. Oh be careful little ears what you hear. Oh be careful little TONGUE what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love...so....be careful little TONGUE what you say!"
I am more than sure that this applies to what we sing too!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
If We Are The Body....WHY?
There is a christian song that I dearly love and each time that I listen to it, it just spurs me into action. The Casting Crowns came out with "If We Are The Body" a few years back that truly should resonate with christians everywhere.
This morning as I was reading a devotional. the scripture I read made me pause and for some reason that particular song came to mind.
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and PRAY FOR EACH OTHER so that you may be healed." (James 5:16) (The emphasis is MINE!)
I got to thinking....if we are the body of Christ, then we should feel pretty confident when we come to one another with hurts, or particularly stressful things going on in our individual lives. There should never be any judgement on either side. We should be more than ready to reach out to each other and offer our love and prayer and understanding. Sadly, we have all met those that claim to be part of the body of Christ yet when one of us falls or experiences trouble, they seem to rejoice in our sufferings. There is way too much time and emphasis put on what I call...."Non-Advancing-Of-The-Kingdom" issues! While it is necessary to halt everything and take a stand and fight for something that we believe in at times....it just feels like wasted time if it is not working toward the common goal of the body of Christ.
The lyrics of the song say it best....."If we are the body, why aren't HIS arms reaching? Why aren't HIS hands healing? Why aren't HIS words teaching? If we are the body, why aren't HIS feet going? Why is HIS Love not showing THEM there is a way? There is a WAY!!" If that song does not do something for you...something is wrong!
While there are a lot of articles out there written by christians, and I have read many lately....it is doing NO good whatsoever if your actions are not lined up with God's Word. I am not judging, I am speaking about myself also. I am blessed to be a part of the body of Christ and take it seriously. But, if we are to reach a lost world for the kingdom of Christ....then we must operate as ONE. ONE BODY....ONE MIND! That is rather impossible to achieve if the body of Christ is warring with each other. How does that look to the lost of this world?
Pray for each other.....I am praying for YOU! Please pray for me!
This morning as I was reading a devotional. the scripture I read made me pause and for some reason that particular song came to mind.
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and PRAY FOR EACH OTHER so that you may be healed." (James 5:16) (The emphasis is MINE!)
I got to thinking....if we are the body of Christ, then we should feel pretty confident when we come to one another with hurts, or particularly stressful things going on in our individual lives. There should never be any judgement on either side. We should be more than ready to reach out to each other and offer our love and prayer and understanding. Sadly, we have all met those that claim to be part of the body of Christ yet when one of us falls or experiences trouble, they seem to rejoice in our sufferings. There is way too much time and emphasis put on what I call...."Non-Advancing-Of-The-Kingdom" issues! While it is necessary to halt everything and take a stand and fight for something that we believe in at times....it just feels like wasted time if it is not working toward the common goal of the body of Christ.
The lyrics of the song say it best....."If we are the body, why aren't HIS arms reaching? Why aren't HIS hands healing? Why aren't HIS words teaching? If we are the body, why aren't HIS feet going? Why is HIS Love not showing THEM there is a way? There is a WAY!!" If that song does not do something for you...something is wrong!
While there are a lot of articles out there written by christians, and I have read many lately....it is doing NO good whatsoever if your actions are not lined up with God's Word. I am not judging, I am speaking about myself also. I am blessed to be a part of the body of Christ and take it seriously. But, if we are to reach a lost world for the kingdom of Christ....then we must operate as ONE. ONE BODY....ONE MIND! That is rather impossible to achieve if the body of Christ is warring with each other. How does that look to the lost of this world?
Pray for each other.....I am praying for YOU! Please pray for me!
Do You Know Where We Are?
"In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." (Proverbs 3:6)
Sometimes we get some of our greatest life lessons by the most unlikely of teachers. Not too long ago, my husband and I had taken our five year old daughter, Nevaeh and had to make a trip out of town to visit a funeral home and to check on an elderly lady that was in the hospital. While we had very exact directions leading us to the funeral home, we weren't quite as fortunate in getting back on the path that led to the hospital.
Now, my husband being all things male, felt there was no need to stop and ask directions. We drove on for several minutes and he would comment ever so often, "Maybe if I turn left here and go straight..." and I just sat quietly, because even though we have only been married a little over a year...I did grow up in a home with a daddy and four brothers. So, to even hint at the dreaded "Don't you think that we should stop and ask directions?" would be a form of blasphemy! Just as I am growing increasingly frustrated, this little voice from the back seat asks her Papa....."Do you know where we are?" and Papa answered in the affirmative. Then the bombshell.......
"THEN WHY ARE WE LOST?" Wow! Ken and I both laughed, but I was already thinking of how I would write about this. I knew that there was a lesson of some sort in those five little innocent words.
In my life, there have been so many times that I thought that I knew where I was going, had a good grasp on it and was taking care of business. So, if I was so confident and thought that I was exactly where I was suppose to be, doing everything that I was suppose to be doing....why did I feel like I was struggling so hard? Could it be that I was trying to operate out of the flesh? I mean, I was serving God and I had a plan. I had pieced the plan together in my mind and decided ON MY OWN that this is what God wanted and THEN, I prayed about it. Little did I know that I had it all out of sequence. I was suppose to be ACKNOWLEDGING Him and then allowing HIM to direct my paths. That is what I love about the Amplified bible....it just lays it all out for you.
Now, I am at a stage in my life that I have grown and continue to mature in my spiritual walk and I am not so quick to jump into things. I get out of bed in the morning and I say to God immediately, "I am not going to do anything today that is not YOU. If YOU want me to do something, I am going to put all my trust and faith in YOU and know that YOU will direct my path. Thank YOU Father for the Holy Spirit.....it is all about YOU!"
When my sweet little girl uttered those five little words, she had no idea that God was using her as a teacher on that particular day. As I write this, I grow excited thinking of the day that she will read this and know that I heard God speak through her and I listened. In order to be obedient to God, we have to be quiet and listen. Thankfully on this day, I kept my mouth closed (yet another shout out to the Holy Spirit for telling me to be quiet) and my ears open and allowed myself to be taught....He will always direct your path!
Sometimes we get some of our greatest life lessons by the most unlikely of teachers. Not too long ago, my husband and I had taken our five year old daughter, Nevaeh and had to make a trip out of town to visit a funeral home and to check on an elderly lady that was in the hospital. While we had very exact directions leading us to the funeral home, we weren't quite as fortunate in getting back on the path that led to the hospital.
Now, my husband being all things male, felt there was no need to stop and ask directions. We drove on for several minutes and he would comment ever so often, "Maybe if I turn left here and go straight..." and I just sat quietly, because even though we have only been married a little over a year...I did grow up in a home with a daddy and four brothers. So, to even hint at the dreaded "Don't you think that we should stop and ask directions?" would be a form of blasphemy! Just as I am growing increasingly frustrated, this little voice from the back seat asks her Papa....."Do you know where we are?" and Papa answered in the affirmative. Then the bombshell.......
"THEN WHY ARE WE LOST?" Wow! Ken and I both laughed, but I was already thinking of how I would write about this. I knew that there was a lesson of some sort in those five little innocent words.
In my life, there have been so many times that I thought that I knew where I was going, had a good grasp on it and was taking care of business. So, if I was so confident and thought that I was exactly where I was suppose to be, doing everything that I was suppose to be doing....why did I feel like I was struggling so hard? Could it be that I was trying to operate out of the flesh? I mean, I was serving God and I had a plan. I had pieced the plan together in my mind and decided ON MY OWN that this is what God wanted and THEN, I prayed about it. Little did I know that I had it all out of sequence. I was suppose to be ACKNOWLEDGING Him and then allowing HIM to direct my paths. That is what I love about the Amplified bible....it just lays it all out for you.
Now, I am at a stage in my life that I have grown and continue to mature in my spiritual walk and I am not so quick to jump into things. I get out of bed in the morning and I say to God immediately, "I am not going to do anything today that is not YOU. If YOU want me to do something, I am going to put all my trust and faith in YOU and know that YOU will direct my path. Thank YOU Father for the Holy Spirit.....it is all about YOU!"
When my sweet little girl uttered those five little words, she had no idea that God was using her as a teacher on that particular day. As I write this, I grow excited thinking of the day that she will read this and know that I heard God speak through her and I listened. In order to be obedient to God, we have to be quiet and listen. Thankfully on this day, I kept my mouth closed (yet another shout out to the Holy Spirit for telling me to be quiet) and my ears open and allowed myself to be taught....He will always direct your path!
No Such Thing As Minor Victories!
It has been my goal of late, to discern when it is God that is speaking to me. I am seeking to hear and know HIS voice and trying to make better choices. Most of all, I want to know that I am hearing HIM and obeying.
Today, I needed to go into town and shop for gifts that our Sunday school class will be giving to a group of people that we will be having a party for on Monday. The gifts needed to be wrapped and ready at church on Sunday. I had volunteered to do the shopping last week and then Monday hit and it has been a crazy whirlwind all week. So, this morning, I set out alone (thought I'd get finished faster if the little five year old was home) and pointed the car in the direction of Clarksville. There was a little voice that kept saying "Go to the WalMart in Waverly." I have been there before, but usually ventured into Clarksville because that is where my family is and I could stop and visit after I finish errands.
Trying to be obedient, I decided to listen to the voice and headed towards Waverly. As I drove, I had a very pleasant and uninterrupted conversation with God. There were so many things laid on my heart...old grudges that I had been holding onto, unforgiveness of others and even some anger issues that if not let go of, could turn me into a not so nice person. I noticed all of the nature on the way and just felt so in tuned with God.
I went to the WalMart, got everything that I needed and left, ready to make the trip back home. However, the ever small voice told me to take a trip on up the road and I did. I stopped at a yard sale and bought nothing, but did ask the man if there was a McDonald's in Waverly and he gave me some directions. I have never been very comfortable driving around in places that I haven't been before. I followed the directions and was pleased to find not only a McDonald's, but a Sonic, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Chinese restaurant. I grew very excited. While I am sure that we all would agree, these are not fancy places to eat or anything, I felt that this was a minor victory for me. I was thrilled. I found that I was not in the least afraid to explore. I did not feel alone.
I didn't really understand why I was feeling so euphoric as I drove home. I had just gone out and ran a few errands like I had countless other times, but today felt different. The closer I got to home, I began to realize that God had spoken to my heart and I had listened. God had asked a very little thing of me....to go to Waverly instead of Clarksville. The scripture that came to mind was..."He who is faithful in a very little [thing] is faithful also in much.." (Luke 16:10) Each time I conquer a little thing that God gives me, I become more empowered and I garner this strength that readies me for the next thing that God has in store.
There is NO such thing as a minor victory in God's eyes. Every small act of obedience is great in HIS eyes! It has taken me a long time to just be still and listen for God's voice and even longer to take heed, but at last, I am getting there. He's been speaking to me all along, I was just not prepared to HEAR. To many, this may be just a short drive that I took today to one place instead of another, but God and I know, that there was nothing minor about today.
"Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
Today, I needed to go into town and shop for gifts that our Sunday school class will be giving to a group of people that we will be having a party for on Monday. The gifts needed to be wrapped and ready at church on Sunday. I had volunteered to do the shopping last week and then Monday hit and it has been a crazy whirlwind all week. So, this morning, I set out alone (thought I'd get finished faster if the little five year old was home) and pointed the car in the direction of Clarksville. There was a little voice that kept saying "Go to the WalMart in Waverly." I have been there before, but usually ventured into Clarksville because that is where my family is and I could stop and visit after I finish errands.
Trying to be obedient, I decided to listen to the voice and headed towards Waverly. As I drove, I had a very pleasant and uninterrupted conversation with God. There were so many things laid on my heart...old grudges that I had been holding onto, unforgiveness of others and even some anger issues that if not let go of, could turn me into a not so nice person. I noticed all of the nature on the way and just felt so in tuned with God.
I went to the WalMart, got everything that I needed and left, ready to make the trip back home. However, the ever small voice told me to take a trip on up the road and I did. I stopped at a yard sale and bought nothing, but did ask the man if there was a McDonald's in Waverly and he gave me some directions. I have never been very comfortable driving around in places that I haven't been before. I followed the directions and was pleased to find not only a McDonald's, but a Sonic, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Chinese restaurant. I grew very excited. While I am sure that we all would agree, these are not fancy places to eat or anything, I felt that this was a minor victory for me. I was thrilled. I found that I was not in the least afraid to explore. I did not feel alone.
I didn't really understand why I was feeling so euphoric as I drove home. I had just gone out and ran a few errands like I had countless other times, but today felt different. The closer I got to home, I began to realize that God had spoken to my heart and I had listened. God had asked a very little thing of me....to go to Waverly instead of Clarksville. The scripture that came to mind was..."He who is faithful in a very little [thing] is faithful also in much.." (Luke 16:10) Each time I conquer a little thing that God gives me, I become more empowered and I garner this strength that readies me for the next thing that God has in store.
There is NO such thing as a minor victory in God's eyes. Every small act of obedience is great in HIS eyes! It has taken me a long time to just be still and listen for God's voice and even longer to take heed, but at last, I am getting there. He's been speaking to me all along, I was just not prepared to HEAR. To many, this may be just a short drive that I took today to one place instead of another, but God and I know, that there was nothing minor about today.
"Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
Jealousy...An UGLY Emotion!
While recently going about every day life, I have encountered jealousy and the rearing of its ugly head aimed at myself, forcing me to pause and take a long look at this most awful of emotions! I have always known the meaning of the word jealousy, but wanted to get Old Webster's perspective on it.
Jealous: adj 1:demanding complete devotion 2: suspicious of a rival or of one believed to enjoy an advantage 3: VIGILANT
Hmmm, while I have always loved the word vigilant and even considered myself to be this or at least strive to be ever vigilant....I wanted to yet again turn to my friend, Webster.
Vigilant: adj alertly watchful esp. to avoid danger. I like that definition and think that is precisely what the Bible speaks of when it talks of us being ever vigilant.
One of my all time favorite stories from the Bible as a little girl was about Joseph and the coat of many colors. As I got older, I realized that there was much more to the story than just a kid scoring a cool coat. Out of all the stories told in the Bible, this one best represents what the bitterness of jealousy can do to the mind and heart of a person. Joseph obviously held a special place in the heart of his father. I am sure that Jacob loved all of his other children, but his heart held a fondness for Joseph because he was born to him in his old age. Once his brothers saw that their father loved Joseph so much, they grew bitter with their hatred and the Bible tells us, could not even speak a kind word to their own brother. How sad.
As they allowed the jealousy to take root and grow in their hearts, they got together and hatched a plan. They intended to kill their little brother. Just throw him away like yesterday's garbage and it would be good riddance to him. One brother, showed a little character and stepped forward and told them to just throw him in a well, and planned to rescue him at a later time. But, would he have done that? How was he to know that there wasn't a poisonous snake in the bottom of the cistern that would bite and kill him? However, after throwing their brother into the well, they decided it was all for naught. They schemed yet again. Merely throwing their much despised brother into a well wasn't bad enough, why not sell him to passing merchants and allow them to use him as a slave if they so wished. After being handed twenty shekels of silver, the deed was done.
What the brothers did not bank on was the mind numbing grief of their father. No matter what any of them tried to do, they could find no way to console him. Did the sons feel any guilt as to the pain they were causing their father? Or did jealousy numb them to anyone else's pain? After they had ridded themselves of their brother, did the jealousy and bitterness leave their hearts? I am going to go out on a limb and answer a resounding NO!
Even after all that was done to Joseph, many years later, after enduring many painful times in his life, which God turned around to His favor...Joseph was once again reunited with his brothers. Hence one of the most beautiful passages in the Bible, to me....."You intended to harm me, but GOD intended it for good." (Genesis 50:20)
I struggled with jealousy for a period in my life. It is not a pretty emotion to display or to feel. It is a soul eating bacteria that once it has one in its clutches, I truly believe, only GOD can rid a person of it. I prayed often for God to take it from me and the way in which HE healed me, was to allow me to see it up close and personal through another. While it is hard to catch a mere glimpse of yourself through someone else, it can be humbling. Proverbs 14:30 says it best, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but ENVY rots the bones."
While there are those that feel that we are accountable to each other as christians, I do not think that we are to feel jealousy towards one another therefore, ignore the plank in your own eye and point out the speck in your brother's. If you experience jealousy at some point, dig it up from the roots and rid yourself of it before it has a chance to grow. Once it takes root, I think that ONLY God can rid your very soul of it.
Jealousy makes the prettiest of people quite ugly. All other redeeming qualites that the person may possess are no longer visible. I have now seen it close up and aimed at me and that alone, thank you God, will keep me ever VIGILANT to steer clear of the danger of jealousy.
Jealous: adj 1:demanding complete devotion 2: suspicious of a rival or of one believed to enjoy an advantage 3: VIGILANT
Hmmm, while I have always loved the word vigilant and even considered myself to be this or at least strive to be ever vigilant....I wanted to yet again turn to my friend, Webster.
Vigilant: adj alertly watchful esp. to avoid danger. I like that definition and think that is precisely what the Bible speaks of when it talks of us being ever vigilant.
One of my all time favorite stories from the Bible as a little girl was about Joseph and the coat of many colors. As I got older, I realized that there was much more to the story than just a kid scoring a cool coat. Out of all the stories told in the Bible, this one best represents what the bitterness of jealousy can do to the mind and heart of a person. Joseph obviously held a special place in the heart of his father. I am sure that Jacob loved all of his other children, but his heart held a fondness for Joseph because he was born to him in his old age. Once his brothers saw that their father loved Joseph so much, they grew bitter with their hatred and the Bible tells us, could not even speak a kind word to their own brother. How sad.
As they allowed the jealousy to take root and grow in their hearts, they got together and hatched a plan. They intended to kill their little brother. Just throw him away like yesterday's garbage and it would be good riddance to him. One brother, showed a little character and stepped forward and told them to just throw him in a well, and planned to rescue him at a later time. But, would he have done that? How was he to know that there wasn't a poisonous snake in the bottom of the cistern that would bite and kill him? However, after throwing their brother into the well, they decided it was all for naught. They schemed yet again. Merely throwing their much despised brother into a well wasn't bad enough, why not sell him to passing merchants and allow them to use him as a slave if they so wished. After being handed twenty shekels of silver, the deed was done.
What the brothers did not bank on was the mind numbing grief of their father. No matter what any of them tried to do, they could find no way to console him. Did the sons feel any guilt as to the pain they were causing their father? Or did jealousy numb them to anyone else's pain? After they had ridded themselves of their brother, did the jealousy and bitterness leave their hearts? I am going to go out on a limb and answer a resounding NO!
Even after all that was done to Joseph, many years later, after enduring many painful times in his life, which God turned around to His favor...Joseph was once again reunited with his brothers. Hence one of the most beautiful passages in the Bible, to me....."You intended to harm me, but GOD intended it for good." (Genesis 50:20)
I struggled with jealousy for a period in my life. It is not a pretty emotion to display or to feel. It is a soul eating bacteria that once it has one in its clutches, I truly believe, only GOD can rid a person of it. I prayed often for God to take it from me and the way in which HE healed me, was to allow me to see it up close and personal through another. While it is hard to catch a mere glimpse of yourself through someone else, it can be humbling. Proverbs 14:30 says it best, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but ENVY rots the bones."
While there are those that feel that we are accountable to each other as christians, I do not think that we are to feel jealousy towards one another therefore, ignore the plank in your own eye and point out the speck in your brother's. If you experience jealousy at some point, dig it up from the roots and rid yourself of it before it has a chance to grow. Once it takes root, I think that ONLY God can rid your very soul of it.
Jealousy makes the prettiest of people quite ugly. All other redeeming qualites that the person may possess are no longer visible. I have now seen it close up and aimed at me and that alone, thank you God, will keep me ever VIGILANT to steer clear of the danger of jealousy.
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