Loving Those Who Don't Love Us

I learned a very valuable lesson on love from my six year old one night before Valentine's Day arrived. She and I were sitting at the dining room table working on her valentines for school. We had them all laid out in front of her so she could pick and choose which card went to which friend. I would read the name and she would ponder over which valentine would be perfect for that particular child.

I came to the name of a little boy that Nevaeh had ongoing trouble with all school year. He would call her names and just made her pretty miserable at times. She looked through the valentines and picked up the nicest one and said "I will give this one to him so he can see I like him even if he is mean to me."

Now, I want to be completely honest with you...as her mommy, I wanted to just not even give the kid a valentine. After all, he was not nice to my sweet little girl. He hurt her feelings many times throughout the school year. There were many nights that she would pray that he would be nicer to her. She continues to be nice to him each day, just hoping that this will be the day that he will finally be kind to her.

I came across scripture that truly spoke to my heart. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that." Luke 5:32-33

It is so easy to love people that love us. Easy to be nice to someone that is nice to us. How easy is it to love a person that is not the most loveable? Yet, that is what Christ expects of us. How many times has He loved us when we have deserved it the least?

The little boy that isn't so nice to my daughter.....not much has changed there. But, Nevaeh is determined to be nice to him and show love. She does this almost effortlessly with God's love in her heart.

We Serve A Jealous God

It has been a nonstop media frenzy since Tiger Woods crashed his vehicle on his property around Thanksgiving. Initially, people seemed to be relieved that he had not been hurt physically and then, as quick as a flash....the media and long time fans turned on him. Women started coming out of the woodwork claiming that they had slept with him or maintained a relationship with him for months or longer. There were voicemail messages sent by Tiger to a woman that we were subjected to on all the different news channels. Now, he had a short news conference last week where he publically apologized for his actions, as his devoted mother sat in front of him with her eyes cast downward.

I am by no means a Tiger Woods fan or even a golfing fan. I find the game tremendously boring. But, Tiger has amassed millions of fans around the world, not to mention a fortune that probably his great grandchildren will never be able to spend. All of that is worth nothing if there is not an inner peace and I can almost bet the farm on the fact that Tiger is not at peace right now.

Parents all over the world are weighing in on the fact that Tiger was a role model for their children and he has let them down. As a parent myself, I strongly disagree. I have a six year old daughter. Her daddy loves to golf as does her big brother, but I can guarentee you that she has NO idea who this Tiger Woods fellow is. As children get older, they will watch tv and they will get to know celebrities and make up their own minds who they like or dislike. When they are as young as my daughter, they are going to pick up on what Mom and Dad are saying. Dads out there, if you love the game of golf and play frequently, odds are, your son is going to want to be with you and play. In other words, they are going to HEAR YOU cheer when you watch tv and Tiger (or anyone else) is in a tournament and he makes a great shot. How many of your young children will take a Saturday or a Sunday afternoon and devote it to watching golf? Mine sure wouldn't!

Tiger was extremely young when he started playing golf. Was he three or a little older? Who decided that he would play golf that young? Did he? Not likely! Fast forward to now...we have a man that has made some really bad choices and he is front page news. Because he started playing golf when he was young and lost a huge chunk of childhood doesn't qualify him for a "get out of jail" free card. He made mistakes. Put aside if you will, the fact that he is the best golfer or that he is known all over the world. With all of his accomplishments, he must be in a lot of emotional pain right now. This man has a wife and children that are hurting, not to mention his wife's family and their friends. Yet through it all, we keep hearing how Tiger let his fans down.

Tiger has let himself, his wife and children down. He owes THEM an apology. He also has every right to do this in privacy as we all would. If you are married, think of the last really intense arguement that you had with your spouse...would you like it to be televised or fodder for every gossip column known to mankind? I sure wouldn't.

My own opinion as to why all of this has surfaced after such a long time hidden is simple. Tiger rose to idol status. People all over idolized him and built him up so high, not only to themselves, but they brought their kids in on the adoration too. God wants us to love Him like that. If you are going to adore someone that will never let you down...it cannot be mere humans on earth. Yes, Tiger is a great golfer, but he is also just a man. He is going to make mistakes, just like those of us not in the spotlight.

"You shall not make for yourself an IDOL in the form of ANYTHING in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a JEALOUS God..." (emphasis mine)

Yes, Tiger Woods is a great golfer. But he has not now nor will he ever reach the status of the one and only true God....the One that never disappoints us or lets us down. Perhaps a lot of parents are really angry and upset over Tiger because THEY had put Tiger on a pedestal and built him up to their own children and when he fell...instead of accepting that they had been adoring a flawed individual for so long, it is just easier to blame Tiger!

My prayer is that Tiger and his beautiful wife can work things out by themselves. I do not know Tiger Woods. Never met him. I am not a fan...but I am a big fan of family. I do not feel he owes me an apology! In his press conference Woods stated "Elin (his wife)pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time."

Parents, we must be ever more diligent picking the people that we admire here on earth. Our children are watching us. If we teach them from the very beginning of their lives that they are to love God with all of their heart and soul and mind...and HE is the only person that will never let us down...then just maybe our kids will not be as hurt when a celebrity falls off of his/her pedestal that we put them on!

A True Partner

I haven't written a blog in quite some time. I do not think that it is because I have absolutely nothing to write about...but, as most people that write know...you have to be in a certain mood, a frame of mind to be able to express all that is bursting to come out. We writers can be very arrogant at times...thinking that if we do not have that perfect adjective to describe or that specific word that will move someone..then we just will not write at all. Hmmph!

Lately, I find myself a little down in spirit. I had taken a fall in January down a few stairs and unfortunately, injured my foot. Now, being the stubborn woman that I am, I refused medical treatment for close to two weeks. When I finally made the appointment, the pain was at an all time high. I think that instinctively I knew that there was a fracture or a break...but, hearing the doctor confirm it and then send me on to an orthopedic surgeon, just heightened my fear.

When I got the call from the orthopedist office, the appointment was still two weeks away. I called them back the next morning and just asked that if someone happened to cancel an appointment, I would be more than happy to take it. Be careful what you pray for.....there was an appointment open the next morning bright and early! I woke up that morning feeling sorry for myself....I had to go to the appointment alone. My husband had to stay home and get our little girl to school. There were xrays to be taken and I was in pain....poor me! After the doctor examined my foot and checked the xrays, he said that he really couldn't see anything on the xray but that did not mean that there was nothing wrong. He assured me that this could very well be a stress fracture and we needed to treat it as such. He put me in a boot cast and sent me home, with a follow up appointment three weeks later.

I went back to the doctor this week and new xrays were made and there was a very visible hairline fracture. The prognosis was horrible. He said that this was a 3 month healing process and that the pain could last anywhere from 6 months to a year. To a very active, always on the go Preacher's wife, this was not the news that I had wanted to hear.

After I was finished being "full of myself" I got out my computer in the hopes of getting "lost" by reading others tweets and seeing what all of my friends were up to on Facebook. What I got was a true lesson in humility.

First, I checked on the progress of my friend, Heather. She had recently undergone her THIRD (yes, you read it correctly) brain surgery. She was in a hospital in excruciating pain...swelling, headaches and even a black eye (yet she still looked beautiful and wore that precious smile). From her bed, she was tweeting special messages to her friends. Her precious husband Christian, had been keeping everyone up to date on her progress by blogging and sending texts...all the while, trying to work and take care of their precious 8 year old daughter Tory...while facing his own fears and having to know his beloved wife was in pain.

In another hospital many miles away, my dear friend Randy, who is more a brother than a friend, lay recovering from open heart surgery. He was still being kept "under" with his chest still open....while the doctors and nurses worked to keep him alive. His devoted spouse Angela, right by his side, texting everyone and keeping them up to date....exhausted and scared....praying for the best possible outcome.

Then...there is my sister. Just moved into a new home after recently losing her husband of 30 years. As she was unpacking, trying to make a place with newly painted walls and steam cleaned carpets a home for herself and her 9 year old son....5 miles away, under 8 inches of snow, her husband was buried. Mike had been a very devoted and loving husband for many years. In his final days, Joyce was able to take care of the man that had always been the caregiver.

My own husband, a pastor of a busy church, on different committees and a loving Papa to our little girl...has been taking care of me. Not allowing me to do a lot and trying to do anything possible to help in the healing process of this old foot. He has cared for me with so much love and even though it has increased his workload, he never complains or loses his cool.

These are all examples of a true partner in life. If you are blessed to have such a spouse....thank God every day for them. Ephesians 5:25 came to mind this morning as I was reading Christian's blog about Heather....."Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...." What if we all lived that way and loved our partners in that same all consuming way?

I know that just seeing the examples of love that my friends I have mentioned in this blog, possess and openly express to their partners, makes me want to be a better wife to my husband. How about you?

God...Lead On!

Over the weekend, I was blessed to be able to attend the Leadership Houston County retreat. Even as I write that first sentence, it seems a complete contradiction as to what I felt leading up to the day of departure. My husband had taken the course last year....a ten month course, that was indeed something that I knew he would enjoy. Originally, we had both been asked to attend and the minute that he and I were alone, I adamantly refused to do it. Knowing me as well as he did, he did not pressure me and politely declined on my behalf, but accepted for himself.

Fast forward to this year and one very charming older gentleman that very kindly approaches me at church, and asks me to attend this year. I tell him that it is not really my thing and he gives me a mild nudge, asking me to just think about it. I did go home and think about it and my head kept telling me it was not a good idea. I discussed it with my husband and he was intelligent enough not to try and sway me. It was not something that I particularly wanted to do, but for some reason known only to God, something stirred in me and gave me that push to accept.

I filled out the application. I handed it in. The church had kindly paid the money to take the course. Everything was ready to go! Except for me. As the day got closer, I grew quieter and more unsure of my decision. What did I have to offer at a Leadership Retreat? Here I was a middle aged, fulltime wife of a Pastor, mother of a very active 6 year old (that was protesting the very idea of her mommy spending the night away from her), grandmother to five....attended college but never finished...had no career to speak of....what was I going to add to the mix? I wanted to pull out. I knew that was NOT an option, so I accepted my fate.

The very morning of the retreat, I had not packed. I felt a little sad and not very excited. My husband, had tried to encourage me and finally decided that his best approach to all of this was to take something that I was excited about, my new Bible Study I'd signed on for....Beth Moore's study of the book of Esther....and highlight some similarities between myself and Esther. Believe me, I knew that there was no chance I was going to this retreat and save the lives of an entire race of people. However, he did say that Esther had found herself in a place where she knew noone. She had no idea going into her predicament, where her "place" in all of it would be or what she would bring to the table. She had no idea what God's purpose was in her being there and she didn't find out until much later. It was providence.

Out of everything that he had tried to impress upon me concerning this retreat, those few things awakened something in my spirit and with only a couple of hours until show time, I was beginning to feel some excitement of the unknown.

During the retreat, I found myself in class with a police officer, a few in the medical field, banking personnel, an engineer, an insurance agent, city workers and more. Most of all, I found new friends. I felt like I was a part of something that was just mine. I was learning a lot about this magical little town that I live in. There were Leadership Alumni that were members of our church and had known me for some time, that were able to get a glimpse of another side of me that until now, they had never seen. It was just a wonderful time for me.

God is going to lead me into all sorts of new and interesting things. It may even be totally outside of my comfort zone....but, little by little, I am testing my wings and I am learning to fly. Surprising to me....I like it!

Angels I've Entertained #2

Miss Sara...was an angel to me and became God's angel July 17, 2008

We've all heard that dynamite comes in small packages. Never has this been more true, than when anyone was blessed to meet and become acquainted with Sara Dickson. She was a precious little elderly woman that stood perhaps 5 ft tall (and that might be stretching it!) Sara was never married but one would never dare to call this dynamo an "old maid" or "spinster." She taught Home Economics for many years at the High School. She lived out in the country and when confronted by a pesky possum or some other varmint, she didn't run screaming in the other direction. The majority of the time she caught the said pest and while she did not kill it, she did trap it in the trunk of her car and take it "elsewhere." Someone told me of a time that she had caught an intruder and stuffed it in her trunk, intending to set it free up the road, but suddenly had taken ill and drove herself to the ER. Once inside she was told she would have to stay overnight, so she immediately dispatched someone to check on the status of the critter trapped at her mercy. I'm not sure how that turned out, as I never asked!

The first time that I actually had the opportunity to talk with Miss Sara, was when returning from dinner out with my husband, there was message on our machine telling us that Sara was in the ER and she was alone. I decided to go there and be with her. This was a first for me, as I always accompanied my husband on hospital visits. I went in and she seemed so happy to see me. I sat on the stretcher next to her while she waited to get the results from blood work. She had struck up a conversation with the young nurse and found that they shared something in common. It seems that the nurse had played basketball in high school and her team had won some sort of championship. Little Miss Sara says, "I played basketball in high school. I was a guard and I was rough!" She almost growled the word "rough." I believed her!

After the doctor came and Sara had inquired about his land and family....he told her that she had pneumonia and his first instinct was to keep her in the hospital. Promising she would go home and stay in, he ordered a shot and when the nurse came with the injection, I stood to go outside of the curtain to give her privacy and as I turned to tell her of my intent, she had already dropped her pants. I immediately turned red and said "Oh.." to which she replied..."Ahhh, you have the same thing I have, mine is just older!" A beautiful friendship was started!

I'm sad to say that I did not get to have a lot of time with Miss Sara. However, the time that God allowed our paths to cross, gave us time to love each other and form a bond that I still feel to this day. I was blessed to have known her. There are many things I could say to sing her praises, but I will leave you with this....Miss Sara made the best Christmas muffins I have ever tasted. They were tiny little muffins that were pretty to behold...perfect in size and shape and had this tangy taste. When you started eating them, you weren't satisfied with just one. One always left you wanting more. Just like Miss Sara.

Miss Sara, in memory of you....recently, the people across the street moved abruptly and left 7 cats stranded. 5 were kittens and the other 2 adult cats. I am terrified of cats...but, I went and bought cat AND kitten food and bravely walked across the street and fed and watered them. I just did not have your gumption to trap them in my car and take them elsewhere.

Thank you God, for sending me this little dynamo angel that I so dearly loved, even for this short time.

Angels I've Entertained #1

Carolyn....was an angel to me and became God's angel March 6,2008

I was very blessed to have known Carolyn since I was a child. She worked in my dentist's office and I went to school with her daughter Beth. Beth and I were good friends in elementary school and in 4th or 5th grade, we went to see the play "Wind In The Willows" together.

When I began coming to EUMC in July 2007, I hadn't seen Carolyn in years. She came and spoke to me at church and I had the distinct impression that I knew her, but had no idea how. When she told me that she knew my mother and that I had gone to school with Beth, I was so happy that now....I knew someone in the church!

When Ken and I got engaged, we knew that we were going to be married out of town in a very small wedding of family only. We planned to have a reception the following week at our new church as we wanted to include our new church family. Carolyn was the first person to offer her assistance. She always seemed to have boundless energy. I called her my little firecracker. She was always happy and had this beautiful smile. More than anything, she loved her family. She was especially proud of her three girls. She always had a story for me about her girls or the grandchildren. Simply....she just loved life.

My favorite memory of Carolyn was of mine and Ken's first Christmas together as a married couple. I was putting up our tree one night before Christmas while Ken was teaching a Discipleship Class. As I pulled out all of the decorations, I realized that these were all Ken's ornaments. As I opened each little box and took out the ornament, it saddened me because these were from another time...before me, before "us" as a couple. I was hanging all of these ornaments and they meant nothing to me. There was no little story that sprang to mind as I uncovered each decoration. Nothing was "ours."

The next morning, Carolyn dropped by with a gift and we chatted for a few minutes and she went on her way. After she left, I decided to go ahead and open the gift and not wait until Christmas. I unwrapped the gift and pulled aside the tissue paper and as I looked at the gift, I cried. Inside the box was a beautiful glass snowflake ornament that had imprinted on the front...."Our 1st Christmas Together." I actually picked it up and kissed it and hugged it to me. I hung it on OUR tree immediately. I have no idea what Carolyn was thinking as she bought the ornament...but, it meant everything to me.

Carolyn found out soon after, that she had cancer. That fighting spirit took over. She was scared and readily admitted it, but she was by no means, giving up! The church rallied around her and that first Sunday after it was announced, there were many that stood in line waiting to hug her. She gave great hugs!

We lost Carolyn in March 2008. My heart broke for her all of her family, but especially Beth. She is my age. We graduated from school together. It made me aware of the fact that my own mother was aging and we just never know how much time we have left together. Carolyn left behind a husband that had already lost one wife to cancer. Wherever you saw Carolyn, Gary was by her side. Her three girls and grandchildren. How blessed they all were to know her and love her.

Carolyn....in memory of you....I took a walk with my husband the other day and held his hand for the entire three mile walk. I called my oldest daughter just to say I love you and I am thinking of you! Today, I am thanking God for the family He has blessed me with. I am going to make time for them and love them.

Thank you God...for sending this angel into my life at a time that meant so much!

Angels I've Entertained

As a pastor's wife, I have tried to be as open and honest as I can concerning the ups and downs of being thrust into a life that I had no idea of all it entailed when I married my husband. At times I have struggled with things and there have been other times that I feel, God has given me the grace to rise to the occasion. There are so many blessings that come with being the wife of a minister. I am able to be at my husband's side when visiting at the hospital. I am able to sit on the front pew every Sunday as my husband delivers the message that God has laid on his heart. I have been blessed to be able to give the children's message every Sunday morning, as my husband proudly looks on from behind. Finally, as we move into our third year of marriage, I am feeling confident enough (through God only)to take on a Sunday School class of teenagers. I can truly see and feel the areas that God has helped me to grow in over the first two years of our marriage.

Sadly, there is one area that I do not like and I still struggle with on a daily basis. Funerals. I love getting to know everyone in our congregation. As I have met each person and gotten to know them as days go by, I learn little things about their lives. What their personalities are like. Who they are married to. How many children they have. Their proud faces as they tell of their grand children's accomplishments. Funny stories of when they were younger. All of this I truly treasure and love.

However, as in all things, nothing lasts forever. Going into the church for the first time, I was scared to death. I wondered if any of them would like me. I worried that I would never be able to put a face with the name. Surely they would take one look at me and realize immediately that I was just not Preacher's Wife material! That did not happen. I was welcomed with open arms. When I made mistakes, they were and continue to be patient. I have loved and been loved in return many times over. The only trouble with this is....when these precious loved ones go on to be with the Lord, I am incredibly sad, not only for myself, but the family they leave behind.

Last week, we had to say goodbye yet again to a very special man that I have loved so dearly since first laying eyes on him. Tom Brewer. After his funeral, I came home and I was just so sad and a little upset with God. He had taken so many from us in the short two years we have been at this church.

Carolyn. Mr. Paul. Sara. William. Rusty. Helen. Marilyn. Betsy.

These are just names to people that never had the pleasure of knowing them, but to me...I have decided that they are angels that God had on this earth. The Bible speaks of entertaining angels. "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

When my husband was placed at this church, all of these wonderful people were strangers to me and I to them. As time has gone on, I have gotten to know them and they have known me. In many ways, these people have touched my life. Instead of allowing myself to feel saddened and depressed over their passing, God has laid upon my heart to tell about each ANGEL that I've been blessed to entertain. They have all become family to me.

For the next few weeks, I plan to blog about these uniquely special people one at a time. I want you to get to know them through me. My hope is that you will take the time to stop and think of those that have made an impact on your life, big or small, and acknowledge them in some way. I pray that the people I am writing about, knew that I loved them and even though I miss them, I celebrate their life!

Thank you Lord, for all of the Angels that You have sent my way and continue to send... I pray that I entertain them in ways that glorify You!