Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Loving Those Who Don't Love Us

I learned a very valuable lesson on love from my six year old one night before Valentine's Day arrived. She and I were sitting at the dining room table working on her valentines for school. We had them all laid out in front of her so she could pick and choose which card went to which friend. I would read the name and she would ponder over which valentine would be perfect for that particular child.

I came to the name of a little boy that Nevaeh had ongoing trouble with all school year. He would call her names and just made her pretty miserable at times. She looked through the valentines and picked up the nicest one and said "I will give this one to him so he can see I like him even if he is mean to me."

Now, I want to be completely honest with you...as her mommy, I wanted to just not even give the kid a valentine. After all, he was not nice to my sweet little girl. He hurt her feelings many times throughout the school year. There were many nights that she would pray that he would be nicer to her. She continues to be nice to him each day, just hoping that this will be the day that he will finally be kind to her.

I came across scripture that truly spoke to my heart. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that." Luke 5:32-33

It is so easy to love people that love us. Easy to be nice to someone that is nice to us. How easy is it to love a person that is not the most loveable? Yet, that is what Christ expects of us. How many times has He loved us when we have deserved it the least?

The little boy that isn't so nice to my daughter.....not much has changed there. But, Nevaeh is determined to be nice to him and show love. She does this almost effortlessly with God's love in her heart.

We Serve A Jealous God

It has been a nonstop media frenzy since Tiger Woods crashed his vehicle on his property around Thanksgiving. Initially, people seemed to be relieved that he had not been hurt physically and then, as quick as a flash....the media and long time fans turned on him. Women started coming out of the woodwork claiming that they had slept with him or maintained a relationship with him for months or longer. There were voicemail messages sent by Tiger to a woman that we were subjected to on all the different news channels. Now, he had a short news conference last week where he publically apologized for his actions, as his devoted mother sat in front of him with her eyes cast downward.

I am by no means a Tiger Woods fan or even a golfing fan. I find the game tremendously boring. But, Tiger has amassed millions of fans around the world, not to mention a fortune that probably his great grandchildren will never be able to spend. All of that is worth nothing if there is not an inner peace and I can almost bet the farm on the fact that Tiger is not at peace right now.

Parents all over the world are weighing in on the fact that Tiger was a role model for their children and he has let them down. As a parent myself, I strongly disagree. I have a six year old daughter. Her daddy loves to golf as does her big brother, but I can guarentee you that she has NO idea who this Tiger Woods fellow is. As children get older, they will watch tv and they will get to know celebrities and make up their own minds who they like or dislike. When they are as young as my daughter, they are going to pick up on what Mom and Dad are saying. Dads out there, if you love the game of golf and play frequently, odds are, your son is going to want to be with you and play. In other words, they are going to HEAR YOU cheer when you watch tv and Tiger (or anyone else) is in a tournament and he makes a great shot. How many of your young children will take a Saturday or a Sunday afternoon and devote it to watching golf? Mine sure wouldn't!

Tiger was extremely young when he started playing golf. Was he three or a little older? Who decided that he would play golf that young? Did he? Not likely! Fast forward to now...we have a man that has made some really bad choices and he is front page news. Because he started playing golf when he was young and lost a huge chunk of childhood doesn't qualify him for a "get out of jail" free card. He made mistakes. Put aside if you will, the fact that he is the best golfer or that he is known all over the world. With all of his accomplishments, he must be in a lot of emotional pain right now. This man has a wife and children that are hurting, not to mention his wife's family and their friends. Yet through it all, we keep hearing how Tiger let his fans down.

Tiger has let himself, his wife and children down. He owes THEM an apology. He also has every right to do this in privacy as we all would. If you are married, think of the last really intense arguement that you had with your spouse...would you like it to be televised or fodder for every gossip column known to mankind? I sure wouldn't.

My own opinion as to why all of this has surfaced after such a long time hidden is simple. Tiger rose to idol status. People all over idolized him and built him up so high, not only to themselves, but they brought their kids in on the adoration too. God wants us to love Him like that. If you are going to adore someone that will never let you down...it cannot be mere humans on earth. Yes, Tiger is a great golfer, but he is also just a man. He is going to make mistakes, just like those of us not in the spotlight.

"You shall not make for yourself an IDOL in the form of ANYTHING in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a JEALOUS God..." (emphasis mine)

Yes, Tiger Woods is a great golfer. But he has not now nor will he ever reach the status of the one and only true God....the One that never disappoints us or lets us down. Perhaps a lot of parents are really angry and upset over Tiger because THEY had put Tiger on a pedestal and built him up to their own children and when he fell...instead of accepting that they had been adoring a flawed individual for so long, it is just easier to blame Tiger!

My prayer is that Tiger and his beautiful wife can work things out by themselves. I do not know Tiger Woods. Never met him. I am not a fan...but I am a big fan of family. I do not feel he owes me an apology! In his press conference Woods stated "Elin (his wife)pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time."

Parents, we must be ever more diligent picking the people that we admire here on earth. Our children are watching us. If we teach them from the very beginning of their lives that they are to love God with all of their heart and soul and mind...and HE is the only person that will never let us down...then just maybe our kids will not be as hurt when a celebrity falls off of his/her pedestal that we put them on!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A True Partner

I haven't written a blog in quite some time. I do not think that it is because I have absolutely nothing to write about...but, as most people that write know...you have to be in a certain mood, a frame of mind to be able to express all that is bursting to come out. We writers can be very arrogant at times...thinking that if we do not have that perfect adjective to describe or that specific word that will move someone..then we just will not write at all. Hmmph!

Lately, I find myself a little down in spirit. I had taken a fall in January down a few stairs and unfortunately, injured my foot. Now, being the stubborn woman that I am, I refused medical treatment for close to two weeks. When I finally made the appointment, the pain was at an all time high. I think that instinctively I knew that there was a fracture or a break...but, hearing the doctor confirm it and then send me on to an orthopedic surgeon, just heightened my fear.

When I got the call from the orthopedist office, the appointment was still two weeks away. I called them back the next morning and just asked that if someone happened to cancel an appointment, I would be more than happy to take it. Be careful what you pray for.....there was an appointment open the next morning bright and early! I woke up that morning feeling sorry for myself....I had to go to the appointment alone. My husband had to stay home and get our little girl to school. There were xrays to be taken and I was in pain....poor me! After the doctor examined my foot and checked the xrays, he said that he really couldn't see anything on the xray but that did not mean that there was nothing wrong. He assured me that this could very well be a stress fracture and we needed to treat it as such. He put me in a boot cast and sent me home, with a follow up appointment three weeks later.

I went back to the doctor this week and new xrays were made and there was a very visible hairline fracture. The prognosis was horrible. He said that this was a 3 month healing process and that the pain could last anywhere from 6 months to a year. To a very active, always on the go Preacher's wife, this was not the news that I had wanted to hear.

After I was finished being "full of myself" I got out my computer in the hopes of getting "lost" by reading others tweets and seeing what all of my friends were up to on Facebook. What I got was a true lesson in humility.

First, I checked on the progress of my friend, Heather. She had recently undergone her THIRD (yes, you read it correctly) brain surgery. She was in a hospital in excruciating pain...swelling, headaches and even a black eye (yet she still looked beautiful and wore that precious smile). From her bed, she was tweeting special messages to her friends. Her precious husband Christian, had been keeping everyone up to date on her progress by blogging and sending texts...all the while, trying to work and take care of their precious 8 year old daughter Tory...while facing his own fears and having to know his beloved wife was in pain.

In another hospital many miles away, my dear friend Randy, who is more a brother than a friend, lay recovering from open heart surgery. He was still being kept "under" with his chest still open....while the doctors and nurses worked to keep him alive. His devoted spouse Angela, right by his side, texting everyone and keeping them up to date....exhausted and scared....praying for the best possible outcome.

Then...there is my sister. Just moved into a new home after recently losing her husband of 30 years. As she was unpacking, trying to make a place with newly painted walls and steam cleaned carpets a home for herself and her 9 year old son....5 miles away, under 8 inches of snow, her husband was buried. Mike had been a very devoted and loving husband for many years. In his final days, Joyce was able to take care of the man that had always been the caregiver.

My own husband, a pastor of a busy church, on different committees and a loving Papa to our little girl...has been taking care of me. Not allowing me to do a lot and trying to do anything possible to help in the healing process of this old foot. He has cared for me with so much love and even though it has increased his workload, he never complains or loses his cool.

These are all examples of a true partner in life. If you are blessed to have such a spouse....thank God every day for them. Ephesians 5:25 came to mind this morning as I was reading Christian's blog about Heather....."Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...." What if we all lived that way and loved our partners in that same all consuming way?

I know that just seeing the examples of love that my friends I have mentioned in this blog, possess and openly express to their partners, makes me want to be a better wife to my husband. How about you?