Victim or Victor?

The other day my husband and I were talking and kidding around with each other and he made a flippant remark that ALMOST hurt my feelings. It wasn’t said to wound me to the core. In his mind, he had paid me a compliment. All he said was that he thought I looked prettier without my glasses. I know! I know! I think that as soon as he said it, he wanted to reach out, grab the words, hurry and swallow them before I heard it. But, it was said and for a little while, I had to mull this over.

Do I think that I look prettier without my glasses? Yes! I think that I look much better without my glasses and that is precisely the reason I have contacts too. Purely for vanity’s sake!

So, if I know that this is what I am thinking in my own mind, why did it instantly upset me to hear my husband say it? I know that he loves me. I know that he finds me attractive. I know that he would never say anything mean or hurtful to me deliberately. He said the words and in the space between us, I allowed his words to go through some sort of decoder and it transmitted “I do not think that you are pretty at all when you wear your glasses.”

My husband loves me. He has shown me hundreds of times in his actions how deeply he feels for me. If I am sure of this, why did I allow myself to be hurt or think the worst of something said in innocent teasing? It is that old victim mentality. There is the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other and alternately, they whisper good and evil in each ear.

After I had thought about it for a little bit, I realized that I am not a victim. I refuse to have that type of mentality. I have a God that made me in HIS image. I am progressing in HIS work, not a work in progress. He is constantly shaping me. There are times that I do not believe in myself enough and when that occurs, HE steps in and believes enough for both of us! I can look at all that I’ve gone through in life and know other things may arise, yet I can stand tall and proud and know that I have overcome and will continue to overcome. That is NOT a victim. I am a VICTOR!!!

God does not want us to walk around all the time sulking over the things that people may or may not say to us. We have to see ourselves the way that God sees us. He knows we are not perfect. He knows that there are some wrinkles that need to be ironed out. He’s okay with that as long as He sees our growth. I am me! There is only one me! God made me and gave me my own identity and gifts. It is up to me to use them. It is also up to me to choose whether I will be Victor or Victim. I choose VICTOR….after all, that is what God would want me to choose.

Oh, by the way….I like my husband a lot better without his glasses too!