Rocked To Sleep

I haven't written a blog in quite a while. To be completely honest, my heart has felt a little distant from God lately. He hasn't gone anywhere. He remains solidly in place even when I am shuffling around, trying to find my way. No matter which path I seem to choose, whether it is the path of least resistance or another, God never leaves His throne...He remains indelibly, my Compass...my Shelter in these storms of life that rock me to and fro.

Undoubtedly, there are those that feel that because I am a pastor's wife, that I do not have the same issues as other women. I have been told on more than one occasion that I have the perfect life and how wonderful that must be. I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways, but, I am human and fight battles within, just as everyone else does. I am not the perfect wife. I am not married to a perfect husband. I do not have perfect children. My home is not always a haven of tranquility. So, in times of turmoil and distance, that I put between myself and the Father that loves me so unconditionally...I am not my most creative and cannot seem to put together two sentences, much less an interesting blog. Which only strengthens my belief that all gifts given to me, are truly from above.

Recently, while working through some struggles, I was having a very hard time sleeping. I was up most of the night, tossing and turning and no matter which side I tried to lay on, sleep eluded me. Finally, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and just imagined myself in the arms of Jesus. I conjured up images of His loving hand stroking my hair, as I nestled deep under the covers, as I have done so often with my own children. Although it was bitter cold out, in temperature and the world in general, I was safe and warm as I was rocked to sleep by my Father.

When my daughter got up the next morning, we were sitting beside the fire and I was rocking her in my recliner, I asked if she had slept well. She snuggled in closer to me and she said "I slept much better now that my picture is above my bed again." When we decorated her bedroom earlier in the year, I bought this beautiful picture of Jesus standing over a little girl as she slept peacefully with her doll. I had told her back then, that she could always feel safe as she falls asleep each night because Jesus is always near. Her picture had fallen the week before and Ken had finally rehung it for her. Little did I know that on the same night that mommy was being rocked to sleep by Jesus, so was my little angel.