God...Lead On!

Over the weekend, I was blessed to be able to attend the Leadership Houston County retreat. Even as I write that first sentence, it seems a complete contradiction as to what I felt leading up to the day of departure. My husband had taken the course last year....a ten month course, that was indeed something that I knew he would enjoy. Originally, we had both been asked to attend and the minute that he and I were alone, I adamantly refused to do it. Knowing me as well as he did, he did not pressure me and politely declined on my behalf, but accepted for himself.

Fast forward to this year and one very charming older gentleman that very kindly approaches me at church, and asks me to attend this year. I tell him that it is not really my thing and he gives me a mild nudge, asking me to just think about it. I did go home and think about it and my head kept telling me it was not a good idea. I discussed it with my husband and he was intelligent enough not to try and sway me. It was not something that I particularly wanted to do, but for some reason known only to God, something stirred in me and gave me that push to accept.

I filled out the application. I handed it in. The church had kindly paid the money to take the course. Everything was ready to go! Except for me. As the day got closer, I grew quieter and more unsure of my decision. What did I have to offer at a Leadership Retreat? Here I was a middle aged, fulltime wife of a Pastor, mother of a very active 6 year old (that was protesting the very idea of her mommy spending the night away from her), grandmother to five....attended college but never finished...had no career to speak of....what was I going to add to the mix? I wanted to pull out. I knew that was NOT an option, so I accepted my fate.

The very morning of the retreat, I had not packed. I felt a little sad and not very excited. My husband, had tried to encourage me and finally decided that his best approach to all of this was to take something that I was excited about, my new Bible Study I'd signed on for....Beth Moore's study of the book of Esther....and highlight some similarities between myself and Esther. Believe me, I knew that there was no chance I was going to this retreat and save the lives of an entire race of people. However, he did say that Esther had found herself in a place where she knew noone. She had no idea going into her predicament, where her "place" in all of it would be or what she would bring to the table. She had no idea what God's purpose was in her being there and she didn't find out until much later. It was providence.

Out of everything that he had tried to impress upon me concerning this retreat, those few things awakened something in my spirit and with only a couple of hours until show time, I was beginning to feel some excitement of the unknown.

During the retreat, I found myself in class with a police officer, a few in the medical field, banking personnel, an engineer, an insurance agent, city workers and more. Most of all, I found new friends. I felt like I was a part of something that was just mine. I was learning a lot about this magical little town that I live in. There were Leadership Alumni that were members of our church and had known me for some time, that were able to get a glimpse of another side of me that until now, they had never seen. It was just a wonderful time for me.

God is going to lead me into all sorts of new and interesting things. It may even be totally outside of my comfort zone....but, little by little, I am testing my wings and I am learning to fly. Surprising to me....I like it!