One of the complete and utter JOYS of my life began eight years ago when my first grandchild Layne Brianna came into this world. My daughter, at the time, was living in Germany and it was six LONG months before I got to lay eyes, not to mention hands and lips, on my beautiful little Laynie Bug, as she has become affectionately known in our family.
Since then, I have been tremendously blessed with eight more grandchildren and this coming June, I will be able to add yet another to make an even ten. I can honestly say that having grandchildren tops my list of "great happenings in this life." It makes every single teenage moment you go through with your own kids, every eye roll, every grounding....any and all things you just did not think you would possibly survive with your OWN kids....worth it.
There is finally that moment when you think..."They are just never going to grow up or they are never going to get where I am coming from....and then they go and do the unthinkable....they bless you with grandchildren.
My daughter Ryan and I often skype so that not only I can see MY baby face to face...but those beautiful grandchildren of mine. Several weeks ago, I had to have a couple of round places above my right eye shave biopsied and I will be the first to admit, I was very self conscious about it. I waited patiently (well, maybe not patiently...but, I did wait) for it to heal. I stayed in and didn't go out at all. Yeah, yeah..."Vanity thy name is woman." Got it!
At last...it did heal. The scabbing came off and I was left with a couple of round pink areas. At least I could now cover it with makeup! I was beginning to feel pretty good about it. My daughter had seen me without the bandages during this time of healing, and she was very encouraging. However, I never had the bandage off while skyping...just didn't want my grandchildren to see it.
Ryan and I were skyping and little 3 year Emma Kaye (she was given her middle name after her very proud Grammy!) was sitting beside her mommy and ever so often she would say something to me. I had on makeup and my hair was fixed (and not just in a pony tail.) I was feeling pretty good. And then Emma asked THE question. "Grammy, what are those things up on your eye?" My heart sank. I thought they were not so noticeable. I took a deep breath and explained to her what the small scars were and she smiled at me and then she said something that I will FOREVER remember because it melted this Grammy's heart....she said, "I wish I had two just like that Grammy."
Emma had a love so innocent and so pure and it ran so deep for her Grammy...it came from a place that we as adults, possibly never discover....that she wanted what I considered my "uglies" my "scars." It didn't look hideous to her. She loved me and wanted what Grammy had. At THAT very moment, I realized that THIS is the reason God says "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Children come from such a place of pureness. They love so deep and so unconditionally. They wear their little hearts on their sleeves. They LOVE the same way God loves.
God doesn't just want all our good....He wants to take our scars and our "uglies" and heal and restore. The other day while skyping with my little 3 year old granddaughter, God used her in a very special way to touch my heart.....those few sweet words she said to me...."I wish I had two just like that Grammy," went a long way in my healing....and not just my surface scars.
Thank you Lord....Laynie, Kenny, Zoe, Emma, Collin, Riley, Christian, Ava, Zachy and in June our new little granddaughter Mykah.....Let the little children continue to come to me!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
God Is Trying To Tell Us Something!
Living in a small town can be an almost magical experience. I am blessed to live in the little town of Erin....Houston County, in Tennessee. We have a lot of "Irish Pride." Our Irish Festival is second to none. We have two traffic lights in our little town and they are a block apart. Everyone knows everyone. The little kids that are in elementary school now, have teachers that their parents grew up with. It is really idyllic.
Recently, our little town has suffered some mighty big tragedies. The first happened a little over a week ago. It will be a time I will forever remember, where I was, what I was doing. I just happened to be on facebook and see a new post "Prayers. Prayers. Prayers. I hope that there will be counselors for our babies." Immediately my heart sank. Had there been another school shooting? We had just lived the last month or more, glued to CNN, hanging on every word about the Sandy Hook school shootings. This couldn't possibly happen in our small little town, right? I contacted the poster and she told me what had happened.....the unthinkable....Mrs. Elaine Hewitt, principal of Erin Elementary School had been shot along with her husband and they believed that this had come at the hand of their son. Their home had also been burnt to the ground. Father God, I prayed.....why?
The next news came a few days later. The phone rang in our home and it was for Ken. As they talked I overheard Ken say "I thought I had heard sirens earlier." After hanging up, he mentioned that there had been a wreck on Main Street. Then, yet again, another posting on Facebook....."More prayers." After receiving many more phone calls, we learned that someone well known in the community, Dr. Donnie Lewis had driven out from the bank and drove under a propane truck and died. Later that evening, he was on the news. His son cried as he remembered and shared things that made his father such a special man. More sadness. A loved one gone too soon. "Jesus, Lord of mine....I do not understand," I prayed.
Then I get a text a few days later and there had been a fire in the cafeteria at Erin High School....they would be sending the kids home early. My friend went on to tell me, "God is trying to tell us something. Houston County better wake up!" After thinking on this a while.....I decided my friend is EXACTLY right! I do indeed believe He is trying to get our attention....but maybe in a bit of a different way than my friend was thinking.
Here is my theory.....I believe that we have a loving God. I believe that He was trying to tell us:
1." It is a heartbreaking loss for this community....a school has lost their beloved principal. Two daughters have lost both of their parents and brother in one day. The house that held so many mementos...all gone! Bad weather came overnight.....there was no school for all of Houston County that day! Your little town did not endure another Sandy Hook. I watched on as all of your community gathered at the high school and crossed denominational lines and sang to Me and prayed to Me! I am still on the Throne. I do not sleep! Every child in Houston County that attends Erin Elementary will be tucked in and kissed by their parents....I'm still a very present help in times of trouble!"
2." Dr. Donnie Lewis possibly had a heart attack or some other health illness that caused him to wreck...driving under a propane truck. Had that truck exploded...it could have taken out an entire neighborhood. Your little town could have lost the bank, the funeral home, the shops, the homes in that immediate area. Dr. Lewis could have had one or more of his precious grandchildren or other family members or friends in the car with him. That didn't happen. He will be mourned and greatly missed....but, he is with Me now! Every person that was in that area, at that moment, walked away without a scratch. You all will be welcome to worship in any of the Houses of the Lord, that remain standing because the propane truck did not explode."
3. "Yes, there was a small fire at the high school in the kitchen and the sprinklers came on and ruined the lunch. Not one cafeteria worker was harmed. Every student walked out of that school alive. No burns. The ONLY thing that they left without that day was....a belly filled with school lunch."
So, it is very clear to me that God IS trying to get our attention. He is letting us know that He never promised us sunshine and rainbows for the rest of our lives. I cause My sun to rise on the evil and the good, and I send rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. What seems the loudest and the clearest to me is God is trying to make us HEAR....."I am here! You will never be forsaken! I have sent a Comforter for times such as these. Let Me be your refuge, your strength!"
Keep speaking Lord.....I will keep listening!
Recently, our little town has suffered some mighty big tragedies. The first happened a little over a week ago. It will be a time I will forever remember, where I was, what I was doing. I just happened to be on facebook and see a new post "Prayers. Prayers. Prayers. I hope that there will be counselors for our babies." Immediately my heart sank. Had there been another school shooting? We had just lived the last month or more, glued to CNN, hanging on every word about the Sandy Hook school shootings. This couldn't possibly happen in our small little town, right? I contacted the poster and she told me what had happened.....the unthinkable....Mrs. Elaine Hewitt, principal of Erin Elementary School had been shot along with her husband and they believed that this had come at the hand of their son. Their home had also been burnt to the ground. Father God, I prayed.....why?
The next news came a few days later. The phone rang in our home and it was for Ken. As they talked I overheard Ken say "I thought I had heard sirens earlier." After hanging up, he mentioned that there had been a wreck on Main Street. Then, yet again, another posting on Facebook....."More prayers." After receiving many more phone calls, we learned that someone well known in the community, Dr. Donnie Lewis had driven out from the bank and drove under a propane truck and died. Later that evening, he was on the news. His son cried as he remembered and shared things that made his father such a special man. More sadness. A loved one gone too soon. "Jesus, Lord of mine....I do not understand," I prayed.
Then I get a text a few days later and there had been a fire in the cafeteria at Erin High School....they would be sending the kids home early. My friend went on to tell me, "God is trying to tell us something. Houston County better wake up!" After thinking on this a while.....I decided my friend is EXACTLY right! I do indeed believe He is trying to get our attention....but maybe in a bit of a different way than my friend was thinking.
Here is my theory.....I believe that we have a loving God. I believe that He was trying to tell us:
1." It is a heartbreaking loss for this community....a school has lost their beloved principal. Two daughters have lost both of their parents and brother in one day. The house that held so many mementos...all gone! Bad weather came overnight.....there was no school for all of Houston County that day! Your little town did not endure another Sandy Hook. I watched on as all of your community gathered at the high school and crossed denominational lines and sang to Me and prayed to Me! I am still on the Throne. I do not sleep! Every child in Houston County that attends Erin Elementary will be tucked in and kissed by their parents....I'm still a very present help in times of trouble!"
2." Dr. Donnie Lewis possibly had a heart attack or some other health illness that caused him to wreck...driving under a propane truck. Had that truck exploded...it could have taken out an entire neighborhood. Your little town could have lost the bank, the funeral home, the shops, the homes in that immediate area. Dr. Lewis could have had one or more of his precious grandchildren or other family members or friends in the car with him. That didn't happen. He will be mourned and greatly missed....but, he is with Me now! Every person that was in that area, at that moment, walked away without a scratch. You all will be welcome to worship in any of the Houses of the Lord, that remain standing because the propane truck did not explode."
3. "Yes, there was a small fire at the high school in the kitchen and the sprinklers came on and ruined the lunch. Not one cafeteria worker was harmed. Every student walked out of that school alive. No burns. The ONLY thing that they left without that day was....a belly filled with school lunch."
So, it is very clear to me that God IS trying to get our attention. He is letting us know that He never promised us sunshine and rainbows for the rest of our lives. I cause My sun to rise on the evil and the good, and I send rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. What seems the loudest and the clearest to me is God is trying to make us HEAR....."I am here! You will never be forsaken! I have sent a Comforter for times such as these. Let Me be your refuge, your strength!"
Keep speaking Lord.....I will keep listening!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Going to the Source
I can remember so many teachings that my parents handed down to myself and my siblings over the years.....but, one keeps playing itself on the screen of my mind over and over today!
"Julia Kaye, there will ALWAYS be people out there that would love nothing better than to mess with your mind, cause much unneeded turmoil.....but you have to take them with a grain of salt. In one ear and out the other!"
If I have heard it once, I heard it thousands of times It makes total sense....until that annoying little fly begins buzzing around your head and just will not go away. If a person has any sense, they go in search of one heck of a big fly swatter.
The last couple of days have been such days for me. I have been looking for soothing. I have been trying to find that ONE that will stand up for me and tell a person off, preventing future confrontations. Yet again, (hanging my head right now) I admit freely.....I have looked in all the wrong places! While I do indeed feel wounded and a bit battered....I am NOT out for the count.
I picked up my "band aid" (Scripture) today and applied it....and it must have some antibiotic (sooting balm) with it also, because the "hopelessness" is lifting. God's Word never returns VOID. I read it. I study it. I apply it.
As I listened to Mercy Me's new song "The Hurt and the Healer Collide" I could feel the Healer working.....
"Julia Kaye, there will ALWAYS be people out there that would love nothing better than to mess with your mind, cause much unneeded turmoil.....but you have to take them with a grain of salt. In one ear and out the other!"
If I have heard it once, I heard it thousands of times It makes total sense....until that annoying little fly begins buzzing around your head and just will not go away. If a person has any sense, they go in search of one heck of a big fly swatter.
The last couple of days have been such days for me. I have been looking for soothing. I have been trying to find that ONE that will stand up for me and tell a person off, preventing future confrontations. Yet again, (hanging my head right now) I admit freely.....I have looked in all the wrong places! While I do indeed feel wounded and a bit battered....I am NOT out for the count.
I picked up my "band aid" (Scripture) today and applied it....and it must have some antibiotic (sooting balm) with it also, because the "hopelessness" is lifting. God's Word never returns VOID. I read it. I study it. I apply it.
As I listened to Mercy Me's new song "The Hurt and the Healer Collide" I could feel the Healer working.....
Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
We all have our days, our weeks, our moments. Some days it is something as simple as a snide remark from a person that delights in hurting another human being. Whatever it is, whomever it is......it is always gotten "through" by the grace of God.
Scripture that comforted me today"
"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust. O my God, Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse." Psalm 25:1-3
I do not pretend to be a Bible scholar....but what this says to me is simply this....."I got you Julia. You are my baby girl!" Going to thank God for that and sit back and let Daddy handle it all!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Just Keeping It Real
Can I just say that there are days that I would LOVE to be known as anything or anyone other than A Pastor's Wife? Please do me a HUGE favor, and reread that first line. I did NOT say that I hate being a Pastor's Wife. I did NOT say I wish I was married to anyone other than a pastor. I merely stated that there were times, I wouldn't mind being known as someone a little more exciting than "The Pastor's Wife."
I can hear the gasps as you read this....."Ohhhh no, she is another bored housewife!" or "Something is going on that we do not know, she doesn't like being a pastor's wife." Nothing could be farther from the truth.
This morning began as any other. I got up...had a cup of coffee, read my Bible and prayed. I kissed the air in the general direction of my husband. I awoke a sleepy nine year old, that had NO desire whatsoever to be awakened. When it was time for school to begin....she started developing symptoms that ONLY arise a few minutes before or immediately following the beginning of school. During all of this, my husband, the Pastor, was preparing HIMSELF for the day that lay ahead of him
He would be attending his weekly Rotary Club meeting, where he is President. He would be eating lunch and having interesting conversation with many. He would sit quietly and enjoy whatever program the Rotary Club had planned for today. He comes home, gets to work on another project for another committee, club or organization he is a part of.....while, I struggle with the duties that happen to befall me.
While he has showered, gotten dressed and is looking great....I am still wearing last night's pony tail, no makeup and the most I have accomplished in the way of hygiene is....gargled with mouth wash and brushed my teeth. After all, I am going to be home, homeschooling a reluctant learner and fielding phone calls from those that wish to speak with the Pastor. I realize it doesn't sound like tough gig, but at times, it lacks a sort of luster.
I read all of the different posts my friends put on facebook....had a massage, joining my birthday boy for lunch, had a new grandchild and a ton of other things....sometimes feels that they are out living life. I have women that I admire that are out running bookstores, teaching, going to Bible studies, visiting other countries, away at writing seminars....I could go on and on, but seriously, it would not help the mood I find myself in.
I think the reason I find myself in such a funk today was after ten minutes of ocean study with my daughter, the excitement went away...the thrill was gone. I got a phone call and the person on the other end said "Oh you are JUST the pastor's wife....well, where can I reach him?"
Today I, like so many others I am reminding myself that I am more than a Pastor's Wife. I am more than a mommy or a grandmother. I am more than the woman that is growing more impatient by the day for all of the "boo boos" to heal and have my "real self" to return. I am someone who was born in the image of God....who was given talents and gifts to be exercised.
I guess after all, I am just me. I am not always the happy, bubbly person most folks expect a pastor's wife to be (that is what I always use to think!). I have the days where I grapple to give myself a definition, searching for something to define me other than being "his wife" or "Nevaeh's mom." Today.....I am a homeschooling mom married to a pastor that is feeling a little alone. It really is ok, folks! I am allowed to have days like that.
Join me as I pray for ALL pastor wives. Pastors tend to get a lot of pats on the back. They are seen on a much more regular basis than their wives. "Keeping the home fires burning" is not always the easiest of jobs....but, we do it. I will continue doing it. I admire all of the balls that my husband juggles on a daily basis. I think that the major difference between a pastor and his wife is the fac that he juggles in front of a lot of people.....a pastor's wife, juggles behind closed doors!
Tomorrow....my optimism and bubbly personality will return. But for today....I am just keeping it real!
I can hear the gasps as you read this....."Ohhhh no, she is another bored housewife!" or "Something is going on that we do not know, she doesn't like being a pastor's wife." Nothing could be farther from the truth.
This morning began as any other. I got up...had a cup of coffee, read my Bible and prayed. I kissed the air in the general direction of my husband. I awoke a sleepy nine year old, that had NO desire whatsoever to be awakened. When it was time for school to begin....she started developing symptoms that ONLY arise a few minutes before or immediately following the beginning of school. During all of this, my husband, the Pastor, was preparing HIMSELF for the day that lay ahead of him
He would be attending his weekly Rotary Club meeting, where he is President. He would be eating lunch and having interesting conversation with many. He would sit quietly and enjoy whatever program the Rotary Club had planned for today. He comes home, gets to work on another project for another committee, club or organization he is a part of.....while, I struggle with the duties that happen to befall me.
While he has showered, gotten dressed and is looking great....I am still wearing last night's pony tail, no makeup and the most I have accomplished in the way of hygiene is....gargled with mouth wash and brushed my teeth. After all, I am going to be home, homeschooling a reluctant learner and fielding phone calls from those that wish to speak with the Pastor. I realize it doesn't sound like tough gig, but at times, it lacks a sort of luster.
I read all of the different posts my friends put on facebook....had a massage, joining my birthday boy for lunch, had a new grandchild and a ton of other things....sometimes feels that they are out living life. I have women that I admire that are out running bookstores, teaching, going to Bible studies, visiting other countries, away at writing seminars....I could go on and on, but seriously, it would not help the mood I find myself in.
I think the reason I find myself in such a funk today was after ten minutes of ocean study with my daughter, the excitement went away...the thrill was gone. I got a phone call and the person on the other end said "Oh you are JUST the pastor's wife....well, where can I reach him?"
Today I, like so many others I am reminding myself that I am more than a Pastor's Wife. I am more than a mommy or a grandmother. I am more than the woman that is growing more impatient by the day for all of the "boo boos" to heal and have my "real self" to return. I am someone who was born in the image of God....who was given talents and gifts to be exercised.
I guess after all, I am just me. I am not always the happy, bubbly person most folks expect a pastor's wife to be (that is what I always use to think!). I have the days where I grapple to give myself a definition, searching for something to define me other than being "his wife" or "Nevaeh's mom." Today.....I am a homeschooling mom married to a pastor that is feeling a little alone. It really is ok, folks! I am allowed to have days like that.
Join me as I pray for ALL pastor wives. Pastors tend to get a lot of pats on the back. They are seen on a much more regular basis than their wives. "Keeping the home fires burning" is not always the easiest of jobs....but, we do it. I will continue doing it. I admire all of the balls that my husband juggles on a daily basis. I think that the major difference between a pastor and his wife is the fac that he juggles in front of a lot of people.....a pastor's wife, juggles behind closed doors!
Tomorrow....my optimism and bubbly personality will return. But for today....I am just keeping it real!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Humility.....A Lost Art?
Sometimes I really hate it when I am wrong! What I detest even more is when God convinces me of it for hours on end, until I am willing to let go of anger, resentment and a myriad of emotions that can at times, flood my soul.
Yesterday was such a day for me. For years, I have been plagued by what can only be described as an evil spirit inhabited in an earthly body (not my own), and I am happy to say, for the most part, I have been rather blessed to be able to ignore and pray my way through such unpleasantness. But, as we all know, the prince of darkness is always skulking about, just looking for a little crack that he may slither into and begin his work of destruction. There is NOTHING that Satan loves more than to bring division in families, set friend against friend....or just take that one person that has made it their life goal to make others lives as miserable as their own.
It is a fact that the last three weeks have been rather trying times for me. Three surgical procedures in the same amount of weeks. Healing. Awaiting tests to confirm or dismiss the presence of possible toxins. Any one of those things can deplete a person of faith, hope and/or a good attitude. The Bible clearly tells us, "Our struggle is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms," (Eph 6:12) After a trying day yesterday, I am more convinced than ever that there are indeed people with evil spirits walking among us and I am equally sure that there are angels also walking among us as yet again, the Bible tells us...."Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:2)
We may not always know what an "angel" looks like, because the Bible tells us we could be hanging with one, being kind to a stranger and just possibly passed some time with an angel. Sadly, we all seem to be able to pick up on what evil looks like. We see it daily in people's character. It is shown to us through actions. In the opening, I shared with you that someone with an evil spirit has relentlessly set an agenda and tirelessly worked it for years.....and yesterday, for JUST a moment, I gave in to it and decided it was high time that I threw a little of the evil back. (Oh no, NOT the preacher's wife! I told you, I am HUMAN!)
The fact of the matter is this....the momentary "high" of finally letting go of my animosity was fleeting. I lay awake in my bed most of the night praying....chatting with my best friend.....my Daddy.....my God. He didn't admonish me! He didn't try to shame me. He just spoke ever so gently to my soul. He understood what I have endured for the last several years. If anything, He comforted me more and more as I prayed to Him.
By the end of my hours long prayer, I realized that I would never be on a level playing field with this person that has and continues to reek havoc and destruction wherever the wind carries them. How can I? My thoughts are above....they are not of this earth. I don't have an agenda. I strive to please God. I want to embrace humility. It is NOT about ME! It is and forever will be about my Lord and Savior. So, what do I do in the meantime? I suit up. I put on my armor. I pray deeply for this person. Christ took away my license to judge. If I am to truly be humble....then it all begins with me. I, with God's strength, begin to focus on changing me!
I was wrong yesterday to engage someone that obviously is a tortured soul. But it is more than my admitting I am wrong. It is not about thinking less of myself, it is about thinking less about myself.
This is what I know. I am a child of the King. I have royal DNA flowing through my veins. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I have everything that I need to face each day. GREATER is He that is in me, than he/she that is in the world.
I will NOT waste time engaging hate, bitterness, anger.....I will love everyone. I will pray daily for those that are less fortunate and when I say this, I mean those that do not have the peace that surpasses all understanding. I will be ME. The me that God has made....and by His love and grace, anew each day, I will continue to seek humility.
Yesterday was such a day for me. For years, I have been plagued by what can only be described as an evil spirit inhabited in an earthly body (not my own), and I am happy to say, for the most part, I have been rather blessed to be able to ignore and pray my way through such unpleasantness. But, as we all know, the prince of darkness is always skulking about, just looking for a little crack that he may slither into and begin his work of destruction. There is NOTHING that Satan loves more than to bring division in families, set friend against friend....or just take that one person that has made it their life goal to make others lives as miserable as their own.
It is a fact that the last three weeks have been rather trying times for me. Three surgical procedures in the same amount of weeks. Healing. Awaiting tests to confirm or dismiss the presence of possible toxins. Any one of those things can deplete a person of faith, hope and/or a good attitude. The Bible clearly tells us, "Our struggle is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms," (Eph 6:12) After a trying day yesterday, I am more convinced than ever that there are indeed people with evil spirits walking among us and I am equally sure that there are angels also walking among us as yet again, the Bible tells us...."Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:2)
We may not always know what an "angel" looks like, because the Bible tells us we could be hanging with one, being kind to a stranger and just possibly passed some time with an angel. Sadly, we all seem to be able to pick up on what evil looks like. We see it daily in people's character. It is shown to us through actions. In the opening, I shared with you that someone with an evil spirit has relentlessly set an agenda and tirelessly worked it for years.....and yesterday, for JUST a moment, I gave in to it and decided it was high time that I threw a little of the evil back. (Oh no, NOT the preacher's wife! I told you, I am HUMAN!)
The fact of the matter is this....the momentary "high" of finally letting go of my animosity was fleeting. I lay awake in my bed most of the night praying....chatting with my best friend.....my Daddy.....my God. He didn't admonish me! He didn't try to shame me. He just spoke ever so gently to my soul. He understood what I have endured for the last several years. If anything, He comforted me more and more as I prayed to Him.
By the end of my hours long prayer, I realized that I would never be on a level playing field with this person that has and continues to reek havoc and destruction wherever the wind carries them. How can I? My thoughts are above....they are not of this earth. I don't have an agenda. I strive to please God. I want to embrace humility. It is NOT about ME! It is and forever will be about my Lord and Savior. So, what do I do in the meantime? I suit up. I put on my armor. I pray deeply for this person. Christ took away my license to judge. If I am to truly be humble....then it all begins with me. I, with God's strength, begin to focus on changing me!
I was wrong yesterday to engage someone that obviously is a tortured soul. But it is more than my admitting I am wrong. It is not about thinking less of myself, it is about thinking less about myself.
This is what I know. I am a child of the King. I have royal DNA flowing through my veins. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I have everything that I need to face each day. GREATER is He that is in me, than he/she that is in the world.
I will NOT waste time engaging hate, bitterness, anger.....I will love everyone. I will pray daily for those that are less fortunate and when I say this, I mean those that do not have the peace that surpasses all understanding. I will be ME. The me that God has made....and by His love and grace, anew each day, I will continue to seek humility.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Facebook Saved Me From Acting Up
Well, it has happened! I know this is going to surprise so many of you....but it has happened and while I feel some shame....I feel more relief than anything else.
I woke up this morning and my first thought was...time for my Bible and coffee. I DID indeed get the coffee, but instead, (here comes the shame) I reached for my computer instead. That alone did not bring about shame, because let's face it....I can read the Bible online, right?
The shame came about when my husband, whom I love with all of my heart, was faced with unpleasantness first thing this morning. Women, we all know that when our husbands are upset or hurt, we feel the same. When he came into our bedroom, ever so calmly (something I love about him and something I resent because I lack it) to discuss this with me.... faster than a speeding bullet, I started spouting off at the mouth. He listened to me with his ever present self control until finally I exhausted myself and he left the room. (He totally understood my frustration by the way!)
I began instant messaging my daughter in Ohio, the one person that can make ANY situation seem funny. I had actually posted something on facebook and she was a little curious. She let me talk.....roles do reverse as we age. She brought so much comic relief and then mercy of all mercies happened. Someone that lives quite a distance from me reached out.....this person spoke words of wisdom and understanding.
After speaking with my daughter and this other wise soul, I scrolled down and started reading all the things posted on my facebook wall. The FIRST thing I found was from my boy, Joel Osteen:
"When you allow what someone says or does to upset you, you’re allowing them to control you."
Bang! Right between the eyes. Shame was starting to rear its ugly head....and then immediately following it was a post by Joyce Meyer....and we all know how much I love and repect her:
"Humility requires discipline of the tongue."
But, I am not humble, Lord, I whisper in my little, teeny tiny voice! To which He replied without missing a beat....."Because you haven't tamed that tongue yet Julia!"
And then, I came across a beautiful picture that Pat Hatfield, a dear friend posted that really made me STOP and talk to the Lord"
"I will let Christ put my broken pieces together today.
I do not need to fear anyone or anything.
I will refuse to let anxiety rule over me.
I will let Christ control my life.
I will trust Christ completely.
I am unconditionally loved.
I will let my worries go and
I will sing praises to HIM who gives me strength.
Thank You LORD!"
I realize that social media can sometimes cause all sorts of drama and silly things.....but, there is so much encouragement and love posted daily. Today, I thank my Ryan, my miles away buddy, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer and Pat Hatfield for inspiring me and reminding me that God can handle anything that comes my way! Facebook actally saved me from acting a fool today!
And yes....tomorrow morning, reaching for the Bible first.....Facebook can wait!
I woke up this morning and my first thought was...time for my Bible and coffee. I DID indeed get the coffee, but instead, (here comes the shame) I reached for my computer instead. That alone did not bring about shame, because let's face it....I can read the Bible online, right?
The shame came about when my husband, whom I love with all of my heart, was faced with unpleasantness first thing this morning. Women, we all know that when our husbands are upset or hurt, we feel the same. When he came into our bedroom, ever so calmly (something I love about him and something I resent because I lack it) to discuss this with me.... faster than a speeding bullet, I started spouting off at the mouth. He listened to me with his ever present self control until finally I exhausted myself and he left the room. (He totally understood my frustration by the way!)
I began instant messaging my daughter in Ohio, the one person that can make ANY situation seem funny. I had actually posted something on facebook and she was a little curious. She let me talk.....roles do reverse as we age. She brought so much comic relief and then mercy of all mercies happened. Someone that lives quite a distance from me reached out.....this person spoke words of wisdom and understanding.
After speaking with my daughter and this other wise soul, I scrolled down and started reading all the things posted on my facebook wall. The FIRST thing I found was from my boy, Joel Osteen:
"When you allow what someone says or does to upset you, you’re allowing them to control you."
Bang! Right between the eyes. Shame was starting to rear its ugly head....and then immediately following it was a post by Joyce Meyer....and we all know how much I love and repect her:
"Humility requires discipline of the tongue."
But, I am not humble, Lord, I whisper in my little, teeny tiny voice! To which He replied without missing a beat....."Because you haven't tamed that tongue yet Julia!"
And then, I came across a beautiful picture that Pat Hatfield, a dear friend posted that really made me STOP and talk to the Lord"
"I will let Christ put my broken pieces together today.
I do not need to fear anyone or anything.
I will refuse to let anxiety rule over me.
I will let Christ control my life.
I will trust Christ completely.
I am unconditionally loved.
I will let my worries go and
I will sing praises to HIM who gives me strength.
Thank You LORD!"
I realize that social media can sometimes cause all sorts of drama and silly things.....but, there is so much encouragement and love posted daily. Today, I thank my Ryan, my miles away buddy, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer and Pat Hatfield for inspiring me and reminding me that God can handle anything that comes my way! Facebook actally saved me from acting a fool today!
And yes....tomorrow morning, reaching for the Bible first.....Facebook can wait!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Small Town Pain
My family and I have been blessed to live in Houston County in Tennessee for the last five almost six years. My husband is a Methodist Pastor and usually they are sent to a church for a certain amount of time and then it is time to move on at some point.
When we arrived, our little girl was four years old. Being the youngest of five children and the ONLY one left at home, we thought it was important that she be around other kids her own age. We enrolled her in the Pre K program at Erin Elementary School. It was a very exciting, yet nervous time for this mommy. Not only had we just moved to a new home she wasn't accustomed to yet...now, we were going to take her to a school and leave her where we knew not one person. She looked so tiny to us as we walked out the door....she was smiling and waving!
Ken and I were able to meet the principal that first day, Ms. Elaine Hewitt and she assured us that our baby would be fine. I can remember calling a few times to check on my little "baby" just to make sure all was well. We were blessed with the teachers that Nevaeh got in kindergarten, Ms Jessica Lyle, first grade Ms Cindy Tomlin and then 2nd grade, Ms Kim Black....who, while we love every one of these ladies, will remain the most special teacher ever in our book.
Sadly, we received the news yesterday, that Ms Elaine, her husband and son, had died in a house fire. The news has reported that "foul play" was suspected. While all of our hearts break to lose such a fine, caring principal.....parents are scrambling to explain "why" to their young children. How do we do that, when we do not even understand? Our child has been home schooled for the last two years but we have still gone to the school to teach Jr. Achievement and it has given Nevaeh, our daughter, a chance to see her friends and all of the staff that we love.
Every morning as I scroll down my facebook page reading each post, pausing to pray where requests have been made...and even where they haven't....I thank God for my "small" problems. I have been feeling a little sorry for myself lately....surgical procedures that have left me in pain....yet, not fighting for my life, yet many are. There's so much pain in so many lives....pain that is irreversible. My heart reaches out to each and every one of you, wishing that the love I feel could someone make the pain disappear.
Losing our elementary school principal has shaken our small town. It has broken our hearts. It has left hundreds of parents at a loss as to how they will comfort their children. It has left all of the precious teachers that got up this morning and prepared for school, dumbfounded as to WHAT they will say, which words they choose to make their "sweet little babies" as Kim Black referred to her students, understand this loss.
I have no easy answers. This is what I do know.....small towns are closely knit. Everybody knows everybody! We share in joys. We share in losses. One's victory is every one's victory.....one's loss is every one's loss. We will come together. We will pray. We will hold each other. We will hold our children a little closer than before......most of all, we will take our small town pain and graciously endure it.....together!
When we arrived, our little girl was four years old. Being the youngest of five children and the ONLY one left at home, we thought it was important that she be around other kids her own age. We enrolled her in the Pre K program at Erin Elementary School. It was a very exciting, yet nervous time for this mommy. Not only had we just moved to a new home she wasn't accustomed to yet...now, we were going to take her to a school and leave her where we knew not one person. She looked so tiny to us as we walked out the door....she was smiling and waving!
Ken and I were able to meet the principal that first day, Ms. Elaine Hewitt and she assured us that our baby would be fine. I can remember calling a few times to check on my little "baby" just to make sure all was well. We were blessed with the teachers that Nevaeh got in kindergarten, Ms Jessica Lyle, first grade Ms Cindy Tomlin and then 2nd grade, Ms Kim Black....who, while we love every one of these ladies, will remain the most special teacher ever in our book.
Sadly, we received the news yesterday, that Ms Elaine, her husband and son, had died in a house fire. The news has reported that "foul play" was suspected. While all of our hearts break to lose such a fine, caring principal.....parents are scrambling to explain "why" to their young children. How do we do that, when we do not even understand? Our child has been home schooled for the last two years but we have still gone to the school to teach Jr. Achievement and it has given Nevaeh, our daughter, a chance to see her friends and all of the staff that we love.
Every morning as I scroll down my facebook page reading each post, pausing to pray where requests have been made...and even where they haven't....I thank God for my "small" problems. I have been feeling a little sorry for myself lately....surgical procedures that have left me in pain....yet, not fighting for my life, yet many are. There's so much pain in so many lives....pain that is irreversible. My heart reaches out to each and every one of you, wishing that the love I feel could someone make the pain disappear.
Losing our elementary school principal has shaken our small town. It has broken our hearts. It has left hundreds of parents at a loss as to how they will comfort their children. It has left all of the precious teachers that got up this morning and prepared for school, dumbfounded as to WHAT they will say, which words they choose to make their "sweet little babies" as Kim Black referred to her students, understand this loss.
I have no easy answers. This is what I do know.....small towns are closely knit. Everybody knows everybody! We share in joys. We share in losses. One's victory is every one's victory.....one's loss is every one's loss. We will come together. We will pray. We will hold each other. We will hold our children a little closer than before......most of all, we will take our small town pain and graciously endure it.....together!
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