Just Keeping It Real

Can I just say that there are days that I would LOVE to be known as anything or anyone other than A Pastor's Wife? Please do me a HUGE favor, and reread that first line.  I did NOT say that I hate being a Pastor's Wife. I did NOT say I wish I was married to anyone other than a pastor. I merely stated that there were times, I wouldn't mind being known as someone a little more exciting than "The Pastor's Wife."

I can hear the gasps as you read this....."Ohhhh no, she is another bored housewife!"  or "Something is going on that we do not know, she doesn't like being a pastor's wife."  Nothing could be farther from the truth.

This morning began as any other. I got up...had a cup of coffee, read my Bible and prayed. I kissed the air in the general direction of my husband.  I awoke a sleepy nine year old, that had NO desire whatsoever to be awakened. When it was time for school to begin....she started developing symptoms that ONLY arise a few minutes before or immediately following the beginning of school. During all of this, my husband, the Pastor, was preparing HIMSELF for the day that lay ahead of him

He would be attending his weekly Rotary Club meeting, where he is President. He would be eating lunch and having interesting conversation with many. He would sit quietly and enjoy whatever program the Rotary Club had planned for today. He comes home, gets to work on another project for another committee, club or organization he is a part of.....while, I struggle with the duties that happen to befall me.

While he has showered, gotten dressed and is looking great....I am still wearing last night's pony tail, no makeup and the most I have accomplished in the way of hygiene is....gargled with mouth wash and brushed my teeth. After all, I am going to be home, homeschooling a reluctant learner and fielding phone calls from those that wish to speak with the Pastor. I realize it doesn't sound like tough gig, but at times, it lacks a sort of luster.

I read all of the different posts my friends put on facebook....had a massage, joining my birthday boy for lunch, had a new grandchild and a ton of other things....sometimes feels that they are out living life. I have women that I admire that are out running bookstores, teaching, going to Bible studies, visiting other countries, away at writing seminars....I could go on and on, but seriously, it would not help the mood I find myself in.

I think the reason I find myself in such a funk today was after ten minutes of ocean study with my daughter, the excitement went away...the thrill was gone. I got a phone call and the person on the other end said "Oh you are JUST the pastor's wife....well, where can I reach him?"

Today I, like so many others I am reminding myself that I am more than a Pastor's Wife. I am more than a mommy or a grandmother. I am more than the woman that is growing more impatient by the day for all of the "boo boos" to heal and have my "real self" to return. I am someone who was born in the image of God....who was given talents and gifts to be exercised.

I guess after all, I am just me. I am not always the happy, bubbly person most folks expect a pastor's wife to be (that is what I always use to think!). I have the days where I grapple to give myself a definition, searching for something to define me other than being "his wife" or "Nevaeh's mom."  Today.....I am a homeschooling mom married to a pastor that is feeling a little alone. It really is ok, folks! I am allowed to have days like that.

Join me as I pray for ALL pastor wives. Pastors tend to get a lot of pats on the back. They are seen on a much more regular basis than their wives. "Keeping the home fires burning" is not always the easiest of jobs....but, we do it. I will continue doing it. I admire all of the balls that my husband juggles on a daily basis. I think that the major difference between a pastor and his wife  is the fac that he juggles in front of a lot of people.....a pastor's wife, juggles behind closed doors!

Tomorrow....my optimism and bubbly personality will return. But for today....I am just keeping it real!