Gaining Perspective...Face Down

I will forever be astounded by the different methods God uses for my "teachable moments." Even more interesting, is when and where those moments happen.

Yesterday, I had a simple surgical procedure done early in the morning. I had just endured a painful shave biopsy on Friday and my poor face was still in the process of healing....so to say I was NOT looking forward to this particular procedure is a gross understatement.

I was having what I thought was a small cyst removed from my upper back. It had been described by my doctor (Dr. Creekmore in Clarksville....love him and his staff!) as a simple "in and out" procedure. Funny, they always make it sound so "piece of cake."  As with every doctor visit, I had a case of nerves....not overwhelming.....maybe I was a little battle fatigued by this point, but just wanted to get it over with.

I am called back by a nurse I choose to call "Marvelous Mia." She hugs me...which stills my jitters a bit. I am handed a gown and told to put it on, back open (of course, is there any other kind of hospital gown?) and then I wait. Marvelous Mia returns and I tell her that my little girl, who happens to be with us in the waiting room and has a doll named Mia, pronounced upon seeing my nurse, that she was pretty like her doll! We talked dolls for a minute.....she told me all about a doll she had when she was younger named Cynthia! Marvelous Mia was calming me by talking dolls and I don't think either of us KNEW she was doing this. Enter the doc, stage left and I am told to lay face down, turning my head to the left.....away from him.  I am now in a completely vulnerable position. I am face down, back exposed and I am handing over my trust to Dr. Creekmore. After numbing me up, he gets to work. I really do not FEEL anything that he is doing, but ever so often, I will hear him "hmmm" or "wow" and then total silence. He continues to work away and then he tells me, "This is a big cyst." As he works, I try to think of ANYTHING other than what he is doing, just to remain calm. I recall scripture. I sing hymns. I feel God's presence....and then, he has the cyst. He shows it to me!

I am certainly no doctor and can be squeamish at times. But, what he had described as the shape of a dumbbell, suddenly was right in my face held by what looked to me like tweezers. It was larger than I had imagined and looked NOTHING like I would have pictured. Just a glob. A "big ole mass" was the doctor's description. I thought it was cool to finally get to see what had been causing the bump on my back as it continued to grow over time. Had I left it alone, it would have gotten bigger and bigger. I had known for a couple of years that it was there and growing. My fear kept me from going and having it removed. But, as the doctor announced, "we got it all," and started to stitch me up, I must have let out a huge sigh and sniffed a bit, because the doc asked if I was ok. I assured him I was, and he wanted to know if I was crying. Not at all, what he heard was relief.

As I lay in bed last night, the numbness wearing off and beginning to feel the pain of the incision, I started thinking about how  symbolic this surgical procedure was to life in general. So often, I carry burdens that start out rather light and as time goes on, get heavier. When I choose to live in blissful denial, it doesn't make anything go away.... still there....my burdens. After a while, I have to stop and admit....these burdens are heavy. I feel as if I grow weaker and cannot continue to carry them. At that time, I fall flat on my face and cry out to God....in my most vulnerable moments  is when He can get to work. Like laying on the hospital bed, not able to SEE exactly what the doctor is doing.....I have put my trust in the surgeon's ability. Ever so often, I feel a twinge of something, almost like a bee sting....not excruciating, but also not the most comfortable. When I flinch, the doctor immediately gives me more medication to soothe the tender area. Not once does the doctor leave my side. He just continuously works at removing that "big ole mass." Had I chosen not to seek out the doctor, show him the bump on my back and then ask for his help....I would still be walking around with that thing inside of me.

I cannot count the number of times in life that I have waited until I had gone as far as I could go, trying valiantly to carry my load, when at last, I know, I need help. I call on my Father and now, He begins to clean out the mess. I am always aware that there will be pain and it will be worse before it is better.....but, it will get better.

 His ways are always higher.....His teachable moments come at the oddest times.....sometimes,  I gain the most perspective when I am laying face down, vulnerable, exposed. Those are the times that my Great Physician starts the healing.