The Gift of the Sibling Bond

As Christmas approached this year, I must admit, I was not looking forward to it as I usually do. In the past, I have always loved everything remotely connected with Christmas. I love celebrating the birth of Christ, decorations, putting up the trees, shopping, eating, drinking egg nog, Christmas music, driving around to see lights and even wrapping presents. I did a few of those things, but others, I let go by.

All three of my children were going to be in Ohio for Christmas, away from mommy. My own mother was spending the holiday in Jackson with her sister's family. My sister was spending it in Murfreesboro with her daughter to escape the sad memory of losing her husband last year at this time. It just didn't feel the same. As I have sat and pondered over this....I realized that the greatest gift I received this year came just before Christmas and it wasn't anything store bought or ordered or gaily wrapped.

It was a dinner at a restaurant with myself and six other people. These were not ordinary people. Not friends that I'd had since school. Not coworkers. No, the bond that I held with these people goes much deeper and is stronger and has lasted longer than any other relationships I have had on this earth. For the first time in many years, all of my siblings and I, came together, all in the same place at the same time and for the same reason. Our mother is growing older and she had expressed her desire to have all of her children in one room together. At times while trying to get it planned and all the details worked out...six different people with six different families and schedules was almost a herculean feat...but somehow, we all got together and made it happen.

I am blessed to have four brothers and a sister. We range in age from 51 to 40. Each of us has carved our own initials on our trees of life. We have all been blessed with different gifts and talents. A couple live in apartments. One has a rather large home. Two have decently sized homes that they own. One of us lives in a church parsonage (want to venture a guess as to which one that is?). We all have different professions. One owns his own business. Another sells automobiles. One loves the music field. One hooks up cable. I am a full time wife and mother and my sister is adjusting to life after losing her spouse.

All of us, except for one very fortunate sibling, have gone through the pain of divorce. There have been extreme highs and devastating lows...but throughout it all, the years have left one thing remarkably unscathed and that is our bond of being brothers and sisters. That is not to say that we all get along 100% of the time. But, we have a connection that transcends time. There is a part of each of my siblings tattooed on my very soul that can never be removed. As we sat at this dinner and relived old times and laughed and teased each other, anxiety melted away. No one argued. We didn't try to outshine each other. We didn't check each other's bank accounts to see who had the most money. We didn't brag (well, maybe about our kids & grandkids...but just a little) or share past woes. We just ate and sat and enjoyed each other. I looked at each sibling as we ate and relived special memories in my own heart and mind as we grew up. For my youngest brother, I was his Tinkerbell. For my oldest brother I am forever his baby sister. For my sister, I was the irritating little sister whom she loves dearly now. For my other big brother, I am the sister he wrote a song about to make everyone laugh. And my other younger brother, he affectionately refers to me as his "twin."

Each of us carries our own private thoughts and memories of growing up. Time has changed a lot of things. Our parents divorced which is sad but we are now accustomed to it. In my heart, I think of how each of my siblings and I started out so long ago. Two people, loved each other and together, formed each of us and for nine months all six of us lay under the same beating heart as our hearts and limbs and organs grew. As each new child was born, there was great rejoicing from our parents and each of us.

I pray that each of my brothers and my sister will take time to fondly remember times we have shared. But most of all, I want them to know that our bond is strong. I love each of them with an unconditional love and thank God for the bond we share daily. Sharing those two hours with all of them, was indeed a gift that will grow in my heart long after all the decorations are tucked neatly away and the seasons change.

Rocked To Sleep

I haven't written a blog in quite a while. To be completely honest, my heart has felt a little distant from God lately. He hasn't gone anywhere. He remains solidly in place even when I am shuffling around, trying to find my way. No matter which path I seem to choose, whether it is the path of least resistance or another, God never leaves His throne...He remains indelibly, my Compass...my Shelter in these storms of life that rock me to and fro.

Undoubtedly, there are those that feel that because I am a pastor's wife, that I do not have the same issues as other women. I have been told on more than one occasion that I have the perfect life and how wonderful that must be. I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways, but, I am human and fight battles within, just as everyone else does. I am not the perfect wife. I am not married to a perfect husband. I do not have perfect children. My home is not always a haven of tranquility. So, in times of turmoil and distance, that I put between myself and the Father that loves me so unconditionally...I am not my most creative and cannot seem to put together two sentences, much less an interesting blog. Which only strengthens my belief that all gifts given to me, are truly from above.

Recently, while working through some struggles, I was having a very hard time sleeping. I was up most of the night, tossing and turning and no matter which side I tried to lay on, sleep eluded me. Finally, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and just imagined myself in the arms of Jesus. I conjured up images of His loving hand stroking my hair, as I nestled deep under the covers, as I have done so often with my own children. Although it was bitter cold out, in temperature and the world in general, I was safe and warm as I was rocked to sleep by my Father.

When my daughter got up the next morning, we were sitting beside the fire and I was rocking her in my recliner, I asked if she had slept well. She snuggled in closer to me and she said "I slept much better now that my picture is above my bed again." When we decorated her bedroom earlier in the year, I bought this beautiful picture of Jesus standing over a little girl as she slept peacefully with her doll. I had told her back then, that she could always feel safe as she falls asleep each night because Jesus is always near. Her picture had fallen the week before and Ken had finally rehung it for her. Little did I know that on the same night that mommy was being rocked to sleep by Jesus, so was my little angel.

An Answered Prayer Reminder

In June, my little girl had her tonsils out. It was something that needed to be done for awhile. Nevaeh had been plagued with strep throat so often that if she went for a considerable amount of time without a sore throat, I began to worry!

We had a friend whose young daughter had her tonsils out several months before Nevaeh. I grew increasingly apprehensive as her mother told me of the complications that her little girl had suffered. Throwing up, bleeding, pain...all things that no mother wants for her child. My husband and I prayed every day leading up to the tonsillectomy. We prayed for NO complications and that our child would get through this with little or no pain, no throwing up and no bleeding! I trusted that God would get us through this.

Nevaeh was scared, but each day we had prayed together boosted her confidence that God was going to see her through this. As she awakened after the surgery, she smiled at us sweetly. She immediately drank the ice water the nurse gave her. She accepted a Popsicle and was excited to get to ride in a wheelchair out to the car. Before leaving, the nurse gave us a little dish in case she threw up and assured us it was normal. She even loaded us down with extra tissue in case this happened on the way home. Needless to say, she never threw up once before, during or after having her tonsils out.

The other night as Nevaeh was getting out of the bath, I was picking up her toys scattered in the tub. There was the little throw up dish and I said to her, "We really should throw this away. I didn't realize you still had this." Nevaeh looked at me and said "Mommy, I like it. I want to keep it. I never threw up in it." I knew this, but still saw no reason to keep it. When I saw it, I was immediately taken back to the day of surgery and the soreness after having her tonsils out and her little face so sad....but, she didn't feel that way. I asked her why she wanted to keep it." Her answer, as always floored me and made me look at her little "throw up bowl" differently.

"Well, we prayed I wouldn't throw up and I never did. So, when I play with it, I know God helped me not to throw up."

I was looking at this object and remembering that my baby had surgery and was in pain...Nevaeh saw it as a reminder of a prayer answered!

The Child's Mite

Sunday mornings are such a busy time in our household! My husband tries to get up before anyone else and go over his sermon in solitude. Just as I have a strict routine during the week with my daughter...Ken is in his own zone for most of the morning. Being a pastor, he has to be in tune with God at all times, but Sunday mornings he prays even more and listens even closer. So, it is left up to me to try (and sometimes I fail, but that's okay!) to keep things running smoothly and allow him to do "his thing."

I like to have all of our clothes picked out by Saturday night for church on Sunday. Less scrambling and decision making at the last minute before church. I lay my husband's suit, shirt and tie out while he is showering, so that is one less thing he will have to do. This is something that is not expected of me, but that I enjoy doing. Before I ever even start to get myself ready, I get Nevaeh all dressed and lay out her Bible, her offering and a canned food that she takes each Sunday to give to our local food pantry.I then focus my attention on my Sunday School teaching materials, making sure they are in the bag. I check to make sure all of the necessary items needed for the children's message are in the bag too. So, as you can see, there is a lot to do to actually make it all run smoothly and get us out the door by 9:30 a.m.

On Sunday, I was a little behind schedule, so Ken went on over to church. I had everything ready to go out the door and the only thing missing was my little girl. At the last minute, she had turned and ran back upstairs. I have to admit, I was getting a little impatient. When she returned, she had a few dimes and pennies in her hand. I snipped that I had already given her a dollar for her offering and she said "This is in case some other kids don't have offering mommy!"

For a minute, I thought that the other kids would think it was silly that she was handing out pennies or dimes. I hurried her along and got to church and she went her way and I went mine. I teach a Sunday School class for tweens. As Sunday School started, I took up offering. I was just about to seal the envelope when one of the tweens that comes to church alone says "Wait a minute Ms. Julia...I have offering." She reached in her purse and groped around until she pulled out a dime. She smiled and said "Nevaeh gave me this before church."

I have to say, I was one proud mommy! God spoke to my heart through those two little girls. One a 7 year old, the other a tween. He spoke to my heart even more when I got home and went into my daughter's bedroom and noticed her pink piggy bank lying on the floor and empty. It wasn't a lot that Nevaeh had in that bank...but it was ALL she had and she gave it so willingly.

I thought of the check that I had given in church that day. Funny, I think that Nevaeh actually gave more that day! Remember the widow's mite?

It Just Sounds Prettier

Every night in the Wallace house at 7:00 p.m. sharp, the bedtime routine begins! My daughter and I go into the den and she reads to me from her school reading book, the story for that particular week. She will lay her head on my lap, rests the book on her bended kness and begins to read. I usually stroke her hair and just generally put my other arm around her. It is one of my favorite times of the day and I look forward to it.

This week, we have been reading the story "Tara and Tiree" which is about two dogs that save their master's life when he falls into the frozen lake near their home. One of the things that Nevaeh does each week is...she will ask one question at a particular part of the story and I will answer it and from that first day on, like clock work, when she gets to that part again...she will ask the same question! Every night. She knows that the answer will remain the same, but she asks every single night!

As we were reading on Wednesday night, she came to that part and asked the question of me yet again. I thought I might try a different approach, so I said to her "You know why the man was afraid for his dogs. Why do you think?" She thought for a minute and then she looked at me and said "I know the answer. It just sounds prettier when you say it."

After the entire nightly routine was completed....she reads to me, I then read a chapter of a book we are reading, we watch one episode of "Family Affair" in her bed snuggling, Papa reads the Bible story and then prayers and lights out...I went back downstairs and kept thinking of what she had said.

I have read the Bible for years. I know what is in there. I also know that all scripture is God breathed. Every morning and several times during the day, I reach for it and long to hear the Words that my heavenly Father spoke. I nestle in with my Bible and for a period of time, I feel, I suppose, the same way my daughter does each night when she is snuggled in my arms and we are together. Questions come to mind and He hears the same questions I ask over and over and even though I know that the answers remain the same....I just like hearing Him....because it just sounds prettier when He says it!

Lesson Learned

I love mornings! I love waking up. I love hopping out of bed. I love my quiet time with the Lord before the busy day begins. But, most of all, I absolutely love and cherish the mornings with my little girl. I never take for granted that I get to wake her up, get her ready and then drive her to school.

Often, there is a lot of chatter before we ever leave for school and this morning was no different. There are times that I get into a hurry trying to make everything run smoothly and on schedule and my Nevaeh is more of a "stop and smell the roses" type of kid. I told her to do something this morning she asked me why she had to do it that way. I have always hated when parents say "Because I said so." I have a way around that....I simply reply "That's just the way I roll." She looks up at me and says "Well, I was trying to roll that way too, but you wouldn't let me." I got a good chuckle out of that.

On our way to school is usually when the "deep conversations" take place. Nevaeh began to tell me that in class yesterday, the teacher was showing them different kids from all over the world. She noted that each each child represented a different country and they looked different. She said that one boy laughed at some of the kids but she didn't. Her next statement seemed very profound for a 7 year old.

"I didn't laugh because I am sure if those kids saw pictures of us, we would look different to them. It is just the way God made all of us."

What she was saying in her very simplistic, 7 year old way was....God made all of us in His image. We all look different, but that's ok.

During a time when the world is so focused on others religious practices and so intent on labeling each other...this was a lesson that I needed to hear and I cannot think of a better teacher than my child. I had to tell her how proud I was of her for not laughing and the depth of her understanding and tolerance. Being the child that she is, she simply looked at me and smiled as she said.....

"That's just the way I roll."

More Than A Pastor

One of the things that I enjoy doing with my husband the most is visitation. He is a pastor and as far as I am concerned, he is the BEST when it comes to visiting those who find themselves in the hospitals, nursing homes or a shut in. I've seen him get up as early as 4 a.m. to be at a hospital in Nashville before someone has surgery and he is more than willing to sit all day for results. He is extremely dedicated to the calling that God placed on his heart over 30 years ago.

I have had a deep love for the people in the nursing home for as long as I can remember...even as a child. Ken and I like to visit our little town's nursing home together on most Fridays. This past Friday, I witnessed Ken doing something that I have seen him do on countless occasions, but it took my love for my husband to an all new level on this particular day.

We had visited with several of the elderly and our last stop was in the area of the nursing home where some of the residents are kept behind locked door. A lot of these sweet people suffer from dementia and other mental problems...so, they are watched very closely here. We visited with a church member's sister who is on this side of the building and as we were leaving, her roommate began talking to my husband. If I were to venture a guess, I would say this woman is in her late 60's, maybe early 70's...but she began by telling Ken she was 40 yrs old and told him this long story, which we both knew was not accurate...but, I watched my husband stand holding her hand and listening intently as she spoke and then pray with her over this story that was distressing her.

I loved seeing how for those few minutes, my husband the pastor, made this woman feel like everything she had to say mattered to him. He was kind and very sincere with her as he prayed. He probably could have brushed it off and made light of it and a few minutes after we left, she might have forgotten we were even there. Instead, he gave of himself.

My husband is a wonderful pastor...but, to me, and possibly to that precious little old lady...he is way more than a pastor!

The Dancing Song

Recently, my daughter and I had what we call a "Mommy Day." What does a Mommy Day consist of, you ask? It is simply a special day that I put aside once or twice a month to spend with my 7 year old daughter, Nevaeh....just the two of us. She makes a list of five places she would like to go. It is totally up to her. On this particular day...these were her 5 choices:

1-Movies (Despicable Me...loved it)
2-Once Upon A Child (she has no desire to buy anything, just loves the play area)
3-Toys R Us (again, never asked for anything, just a 1 1/2 hr tour of the store)
4-Mawmaw (my mom)
5-Auntie Joyce (loves her cousin Gebriel)

As I have mentioned before, we live in a tiny little town that is 26 miles away from where we do all of these things. We have one long highway that can get boring for Nevaeh, so she will usually watch a movie on her car dvd player. I turned on my music...Mandisa always blesses me as I drive. The first few songs, I was alone in my praise and worship time and then suddenly....the song "Shackles" came on and my little girl did something I've NEVER known her to do. She turned OFF her movie and listened as the song played. Not only did she listen....she started dancing and throwing her hands in the air.

"Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance...I just want to praise Him...I want to praise Him..." I watched in my rear view mirror as she lifted her little hands in the air and shouted "I want to praise HIM!" and I just knew she totally understood! In her little way she was praising God. She didn't care if a car passed and saw her...she just did it!

Each time the song ended, she said "Play the dancing song again!" We listened to it 6 times! Just as it ended that last time...my 7 yr old asked me who was the singer and I told her and then she lifted up this heartfelt prayer.....

"God, thank you for Mandalisa and this dancing song"

I corrected her "Honey, it is Mandisa"

"Whatever, God knows her name....and He knows I love the dancing song."

So, not only does Mandisa have a new fan...I can replay my favorite song as many times as I want when Nevaeh is in the car with me!

What A Mess

I know that most people have a junk drawer or two in their homes. It is usually in the kitchen. I happen to have one in each room of my house, if I am going to be perfectly honest. I am not sure how and when we have accumulated all of this added "junk" (one man's junk, this woman's treasure), but we have it!

In my house...we actually have a room that is considered the junk room or the over flow room as I like to call it! It doubles as a sort of in home office. For some reason only known to God...whenever we are in a huge hurry, which is a lot of the time, we toss a stray item in the overflow room.

Well, the jig is up! The time has come to clean and organize that room in my never ending quest to have a neat and tidy home. I walked into the office yesterday and just stood in the door surveying the mess. Books. Papers. Boxes of Valentines bought on clearance. Purses. Movies. Workbooks. A couple of desks stacked with all sorts of paraphernalia. And then it happens.....I am hit with this heavy overwhelming spirit that I do not like. Standing there a little longer just looking.

I had already organized and cleaned the laundry room and it had taken forever. (Or so it seemed) I went so far as to take pictures of the mess in the office. As I viewed each pic....it struck me that before I accepted Christ.....I was a mess. It didn't happen overnight and even after the relationship with Jesus began, it has been a work in progress for me. He cleaned out all the junk that very day...but, my keeping everything clean and in working condition and not allowing all the overflow of the world to fill me up, has been an ongoing process.

So, today I will attack that overflow room and make it a functioning room cleared of junk....the same thing Jesus continues to do for this girl's heart each day!

Counting It All Joy

Let's face it....there are days in all of our lives that seem less exciting than others, right? I wake up some mornings eager for the day to begin and others, frankly, not so much!

There are mornings I have to talk myself out of bed. Yesterday was one such day. I knew that there was a lot I needed to accomplish and I had a very set amount of time to get it done. I started the day off with my quiet time with God and a cup of coffee. It was a "two chapter reading" type of day. As I read my Bible I was trying to suck up any and all energy and enthusiasm that Paul seemed to put out on a daily basis in his travels and preaching. I wouldn't be traveling OR preaching, but I had a journey ahead of me.

CLEANING the parsonage! That's right! The down right dirty, nitty gritty cleaning that happens a few times a year. Moving furniture, polishing hardwood floors, baseboards, windows....not for the weak at heart cleaner! I worked several hours straight and without total exhaustion. I prayed for energy and God gave me energy! As I accomplished one goal, I'd stand for a few minutes and allow myself to enjoy the success from my labor.

I realize that my cleaning is not going to make the news as anything extraordinary or amazing to others. But, I realized that as I cleaned....I wasn't viewing it as a CHORE. I was happy as I worked. I was finding the joy in the cleaning.

What will you find joy in today?

You Have A Father

There is a precious lady that is a member of our church that lives in an apartment complex in our little town and she is a magnet for all of the kids that live there. They all affectionately refer to her as Granny Gail. She is in her 60's and a tiny little wisp of a woman. She has not been blessed with the best of health, having to be on oxygen at different times. Gail is definately on a very fixed income and does not have a lot of extras in life. However, the one thing that I admire the most about Gail is that she has bloomed where she was planted.

The majority of the kids that live in this particular housing area live in single parent homes. Their mothers work and Gail, being home, welcomes them into her home after school so they do not have to go into their apartments alone. She is more than a sitter to these kids. They consider her a dear and trusted friend. I learned that from some of those kids this morning in Sunday School when we were talking about friendship.

On Sunday mornings, Granny Gail gathers up all of these kids and brings them to our church. Usually on Saturday nights, she has sleepovers at her house. The kids come, they play board games and watch movies. Granny Gail irons their clothes for church and gets them all up, feeds them breakfast and brings them to church. She also gives every child that goes to church a dollar to put in the offering plate. This comes from a woman that, to the world, has so little to give...yet she gives of what she does have.

Today she needed someone to pick up two kids that had just moved into the complex this past week....so I picked them up. As I was driving to church I was trying to talk with the new kids...asking how they liked their new apartment...tried to tell them that they would like their new school, what grade my daughter was in....and I said something about their parents and the little eight year old boy said something that pierced my heart.....

"I live with my mom. I don't have a Dad."

There are times that I THINK that I hear the Spirit speaking to me and other times, I wonder is that what I am truly hearing....but, today the Voice that I heard was without a doubt the Spirit when I heard these words....

"You are going to a place where I hope you meet your Father."

I prayed silently the rest of the drive that God would place such a love in every heart that these kids came in contact with at our church...that in that sense...they were being introduced to their Father. Granny Gail got the ball rolling...now, the rest was up to us...the body of Christ!

Patience Is A Virtue....I Want It

As everyone that follows me on Twitter or Facebook knows, I have been rereading the book "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. I try to read it once a year as a "fresher course" for the renewing of my mind. I seem to get more and more out of it each time that I read it. Or do I?

I pick up my daughter every day from school. I go early to get in the car rider line and use the time spent waiting, reading the book and my Bible....a much needed "snack" in the middle of the day. So, yesterday, I was reading Chapter 20 and it deals with PATIENCE! This lovely virtue that I have struggled with for years...the lack of having it I should say. As I read, I underline really good points that Joyce makes and I even knod and silently agree. I totally get what she is saying and I promise myself that I am going to start putting all of this into practice. I go so far as to look the scripture up in my Bible and highlight it. Boy, I'm cooking now!

Joyce says in this chapter that ""Impatience is the fruit of pride." As I read more and more I realized that I have a lot of pride....but, from this day forward I am going to work on that! I ask God to help me in this area. You know, how often do we pray and really expect God to answer us right now? I tickle myself at times....I am praying this prayer in the car line at school...I have my Bible with me, my Joyce Meyer book, my highlighter AND pen...feeling the words so deeply both from the book and the scripture...and my Spirit says to me "Ok Julia."

My little girl comes out of school and she hops in the car and New Improved Patient Mommy says "Hi sweetie, how was your day?" She answers "Part good, part bad." I am beaming on the inside because whatever it is...I've asked God for patience...I will handle this beautifully!

She had two sheets sent home that needed to be redone and returned. Remember, I am patient now...I asked God to give me patience! I prayed that prayer with sincerity and I am reading the book...AND highlighting! As we pull out of the parking lot and get on the busy road towards home...she says "But I forgot my book." This has become a habit of my child's...forgetting the things she needs and we have made several return trips to school. Guess what happened next?

I'd like to say I took a deep breath and smiled at my child, relieving her anxiety and patiently turned the car around.....but I didn't. I grumbled and complained and told her she was going to have to get it together and marched in that school with her to GET THAT BOOK!! I continued to lecture her on the way home...and then, a bus driver had the audacity to pull out in front of me, probably in a hurry to get his second load of kids from another school...in his unairconditioned bus...but, how dare he do that when I was trying to get home in a hurry. And then it happened....my Spirit says to me "You do know that this is exactly what the book was saying...you think that YOU should not be inconvenienced. You did not show patience at all...but, we will try again."

Funny thing is...I did not feel deflated this time. Usually when I mess up, I beat myself up. Not this time. How was this time different? This time, I heard that small voice telling me "Okay, so you messed up. I will keep letting you know and you will continue to pick yourself up and try again." The Bible tells me that I am more than a conqueror! I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! Patience is a fruit and I will water it and feed it and treat it with kid gloves until it is FULLY developed.

I did ask God to help me develop patience...so, I am more than prepared for what He will throw in my path to help build that muscle! Bring it on!

A Little Child Shall Lead Them

Now that school is back in full swing, one of my favorite things to do is get up before anyone else in the house and spend some alone time with God. The first thing I do is go into the kitchen and get my daughter's lunch ready to take to school and then I set out mine and my husband's coffee cups. I pour a much needed cup for myself and go into the living room with my Bible, sit down in my recliner and just let the silence overtake me. There is something about it still being dark outside, nothing stirring in the house and a dimly lit lamp shining on my Bible that gives my soul a peace that I need to start my day.

I had been reading the book of John for a few weeks, taking it slowly and trying to find those little nuggets of truth that I somehow find I have missed over the years. As I started chapter 13, I was humbled yet again, as I read how Jesus washed His disciples feet. The day that I read it, it stayed with me. Why, I had no idea. I had read that same scripture hundreds of times. Little did I know that on that very afternoon...it would all become very clear!

I pick my daughter up from school every day and I love that little girl chatter all the way home. She is full of news about what her class had for snack, who she played with outside at recess and all sorts of other things.

Lately, she had been going on and on about how desperately she wanted to be able to go across the monkey bars but her fear always got the better of her. My husband and I took her over to the school over the weekend and tried to work with her to overcome her fear. Her Papa patiently held her legs and keep assuring her that he would not let her go....to no avail....she was terrified. After about a half hour, I just told her that this was not something that she had to do. It would be much better to play on all of the other equipment that she enjoyed and just wait until she was not so frightened to get on the monkey bars. She agreed!

That afternoon, after having read the chapter in John about Jesus washing His disciples feet....Nevaeh got in the car and I began asking how her day went...what she had for snack and then I asked if she played outside. She had indeed. Very excitedly she asked me, "Guess what Mommy?" and I just knew that she had tried the monkey bars.....I was in NO WAY prepared for what she said next.

"My friend went across the monkey bars today!" She was smiling from ear to ear. I was a little surprised because her friend is a little shorter than her and also weighed more...so naturally, I thought it might be scary or difficult for her. So, I asked "She can go all the way across without falling?" and my little girl simply stated "She can with me holding her feet!"

My first reaction on the inside was disappointment, not for myself but for Nevaeh. She had talked of little else since school started...she wanted to be able to conquer her fear and go across the monkey bars. And now...here she was, holding this little girl's feet...a child I love and is a dear friend of Nevaeh's...able to do this very simple thing that my child so wanted to do. My heart was silently screaming..."HOLDING HER FEET! WHILE SHE IS DOING WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING, YOU WERE HOLDING HER FEET? WHY, THAT IS LIKE....." and as I groped for the words...the Holy Spirit whispered to me..."Like Jesus washing His disciples feet?"

I glanced in the rear view mirror at my beautiful 7 year old daughter and noticed that she was smiling as she looked out the window. Peace and joy were written all over her face. She was shining from the inside out. Nevaeh had conquered something much greater than her fear of the monkey bars....she had decided that if she could not do it, then she would reach out to someone and hold their feet so they would not be afraid and cheer them on.

As I reread the first part of John 13.....the little nugget of truth that I had not seen or felt as strongly as I do now caught me and went straight to my heart...."I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." (John 13:16-17)

My little girl blessed me that day and inspired me! I have decided that I want to be just like her when I grow up!

Shamed By Saints

I have come to realize that as I go through my daily life, God constantly puts certain people in my path. I have been blessed by so many people and learned so much, but never have I been shamed as I was this past week.

After having slept very little last Saturday night, I woke up on Sunday morning feeling more than a little cranky and out of sorts. As I sat sipping that first, much needed hot cup of coffee, I wished for any excuse that would keep me home from church. (Believe me, it is more than a little hard for me, as a pastor's wife to make such an admission!) However, being the dutiful little pastor's wife that I am (no laughing please) I did get up, got ready and went to church.

Our church was having a special breakfast to honor our outgoing choir director after thirty plus years of dedicated service. As we ate and visited with church members, I noticed that one special lady had returned that had been out for awhile. Ms. Christine, who is in her early 90's and had recently been plagued with back problems, sat quietly at the end of a table looking beautiful in her lavender outfit. I welcomed her back and in her no nonsense way, she assured me that once we reach a certain age there are just so many aches and pains to contend with and you just do what you can.

Less than a mile up the road from our church, another sweet lady, Ms. Bertha, also in her early 90's, lay in a hospital bed, wishing that she could be in the house of the Lord, enjoying fellowship and singing the old hymns that I sometimes wish could be replaced by more contemporary music. Her smile can light up any room and whenever she sees you, she is overjoyed and never tries to hide it.

Then, if you drive the other direction, a couple of miles, there is yet another elderly lady, in her late 80's who resides in the nursing home. Ms. Louise is a favorite of practically everyone that knows her or comes in contact with her. She has this twinkle in her eye when she smiles or tells a joke. As her daughter battles recurring cancer, she wishes she could switch places with her...yet, even with limited mobility, she seems to be looking for ways to reach out to others.

On Sunday, Ms. Christine, drove herself to church. She usually parks right by the side door so she does not have far to walk and only has to maneuver two steps. However, with the special breakfast, someone had inadvertently parked in her usual spot, so she drove around and found a place, quite a distance away. Not being a complainer, she parked, got out and walked to the church and thankfully, made it inside safely. On her way out, unfortunately, she was not as lucky and while going out the front door of the church, the sun glared into her eyes and she missed the last step and fell. We all rushed to her and after having laid very still for a few minutes, she was helped to a sitting position and said "Well, I broke that shoulder." No crying. No hysterics. (I would have had both of those going on!) I have visited her twice in the hospital and she has no complaints. She smiles and says "You just have to take what life gives you."

I am shamed! Here I was, looking for an excuse not to go to church. I live right next door to the church. I don't have any aches or pains. I do not have any trouble walking. I am a measly few steps away. I can walk out my front door and be at church in less than a minute.

While visiting Ms. Bertha a number of times this week, she too, expressed a strong desire to be at church. More than anything she wants to be there with us to hear my husband preach and hear the music. She wants and needs the fellowship of her family in Christ. Ms. Bertha cannot walk without a walker. At her advanced age and with all of her mobility limits, she gets out of bed when able, gets ready for church. With the aide of a walker and dependant on others to help her in and out of a car, she makes her way to our church. This is a valiant effort on her part...yet she is more than willing to go through all of this, simply to be in God's House on Sunday mornings. Ms. Bertha could not be with us last Sunday because she had suffered a fall and had an infection.

Yet again, I am shamed.

Ms. Louise, who can only get around with the help of a walker that she affectionately refers to as "the Cadillac" would love to be able to attend church and see all of her old friends. This past week, while trying to share a box of candy with other residents across the hall...candy she said someone had brought her that was "a really good box of chocolates"....she too, took a fall. She scraped her elbow and for three days, had an awful sore shoulder. Ms. Louise was looking to bless another because she had been blessed...even while concern for her sick daughter weighs heavily on her heart, she found the strength to reach out to someone else.

I was shamed. I was walking around this week, feeling sorry for myself because my daughter was away visiting her father. My daughter is healthy and happy and not facing a disease while I am sitting somewhere helpless to change it. True, I miss my child, but she will be home in a few weeks.

As I looked into the eyes of all three of these amazing women this week....I was shamed. But more than that, I was blessed through each of them. They have an unquenchable thirst and love for the Lord. They do not say it in so many words....but their actions...the fruit they bear....proclaims it loudly!

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." Prov. 16:31

My prayer for this week is for my heavenly Father to send saints like these to shame me on occasion....it truly spurs me into action!

God Shows No Favortism...Should We?

This past weekend in Tennessee, we were bombarded with torrential rain and it caused massive amounts of flooding throughout the state. Hundreds upon hundreds of people have lost everything they owned. They have been displaced and have no idea when they can return to their homes and assess the damage. Will they rebuild? Where will they go? When will their children return to school? Do they have a job? Will they be able to contact someone to help feed their families? These are all legitimate concerns when you are faced with a catastrophe such as this.

I have come to realize that there is one common link which connects each and every story of loss portrayed daily on the news. Every person shown, male or female, rich or poor, mansion or shack, Democrat or Republican, married or single....all are God's children. Each person, whether they have watched their million dollar home fill with water or their trailer float away...they have lost everything. Especially at a time like this, I am humbled to know that God shows no favoritism. When one of His children are in pain, I truly believe that it grieves Him too!


I read something this week which rocked me to the very core of my being. The week before the flooding, we had a tornado touch down in a city very close to us, which happens to be the hometown where I grew up. There was a lot of reporting done on this and right on the heels of that, news coverage on the flooding. This was a status on one of the social networking pages....as a christian, this disturbed me deeply:

"Do reporters get a bonus for finding the most backwoods and uneducated people to comment on tornadoes and flooding?"

I found it rather interesting that this came from a law enforcement officer. Someone that has sworn to uphold the law. To protect and to serve. When we look throughout the Bible, God called the uneducated to serve. He never looked at their degree or pedigree. He didn't call the equipped. He equipped the called!

I applaud the reporters that go to all corners of this great state of ours. Thank you for showing those who come from humble means. What they have lost and the struggle they are up against to start over. God loves each and every one of the humble....they will inherit the earth.

"God has shown me that I should not call anyone common or unclean." Acts 10:28

I've struggled all week with what to say or do about how this particular posting tugged at my heart. A year ago, I prayed and asked God to break my heart with the things that break His. Apparently, He has answered that prayer. If you get a chance, go down into the areas that are being overlooked. The flooded trailer parks and small homes that are deemed as shacks. Go and talk to the people that have lost everything and let them know that there is hope. Hug them and let them see the light of Jesus through you. I can promise you this....they will NEVER forget that small act of kindness and neither will YOU!

A huge thank you to all of the very professional law enforcement officers, firemen and women, EMT's that risk their own lives daily for those they do not know personally...could care less about their geographic location in life....YOU are all the unsung heroes and we love and appreciate you!

Losing Myself In Scripture

I recently finished a book that I have said to many...has been "life changing." I am NOT going to give the name of the book or the author's name, merely because I have not been led to write this blog to sell a book. God has been spurring me on for a couple of days now and the more I procrastinate, the louder He speaks to my heart.

I have been riddled with insecurity my entire life. As my husband and I have been discussing this very subject over the past few weeks, I have gone so far as to say..."I cannot remember a time that I did feel secure." So, for a book to be written by another Christian sister, and it being placed in my hands at a time that I was feeling very insecure....I totally call it a "God Thing." Then, to read and begin applying the scripture that was in the book and to feel, for the first time in almost 46 years of life, chains breaking that have had a firm grasp...yes, I love the book! To me, it does not matter who wrote it. It could have been Jane Smith (just a random name I chose) from Nebraska (sounds like a nice homey state, right?)that I had never heard of and I would have read this and if it lined up with scripture and moved me....I'd be singing the praises of the aforementioned Jane Smith. It just so happens that the book I chose was not written by a Jane Smith from Nebraska...she was a little more well known. So what?

The point I am making is this...the book worked for ME! I loved it! I get up every morning and I thank God for placing this book in my hands and for helping me to see what HE sees in me. I thank Him for giving the author the words to convey HIS message. Is every woman in this world insecure? NO! Praise God for that! I was. I am not now! My prayer, after having read this particular book was "Lord, if there is another woman that feels the way I have for their entire lives...place this book in their hands and let them lose themselves in scripture the way that I have. Let them see what YOU see in them."

Earlier in the week, I was told that by reading this book and it meaning so much to me in some way has made me forsake "the TRUTH" and to be perfectly honest...for a minute (and I gave it NO more time than that) I felt some righteous anger. How dare someone try and steal the joy that I found in this book. I truly felt attacked. Then...a marvelous thing happened. I went for a drive and I needed some uplifting music....so I blasted beautiful Mandissa. Never gonna steal my joy! What a powerful song! Just read the lyrics!


I look at my life
And I still can't believe it
How did I make it
To where I stand now?
You don't understand
I was up against the whole world
And all I could feel was it breaking me down
But out of a hopeless situation
There came a song of redemption

Life may push my heart to the limit
But I won't let go
Of the joy in my soul
'Cause everything can change in a minute
And the world may try
But they're never gonna steal my joy

So get up, stand up
And rise above it
If every plan
That you've made goes so wrong
You don't have to give in to the struggle
You may be down
But don't stay there for long
In every hopeless situation
There is a song of redemption

The world may say
You're never gonna make it
The world may say
You're not strong enough to take it
But I don't care
'Cause the joy of the Lord is real
And they're never gonna steal my joy

I came home and sat down to read my Bible...THE WAY...THE TRUTH...AND THE LIFE! Once again...God came through and placed HIS WORD, before my eyes....something that I desperately needed to read and apply to my heart. I realize that the things that I say and do are a direct reflection on the God I serve. I try very hard to refrain from negativity because it is a tremendous waste of energy. I want to build up and encourage. If there is a fellow christian, brother or sister, that is out there trying to make a difference in the life of others...I want to applaude them. They do not need that from me, because as all of us truly grounded in our faith know...we are building rewards in heaven.

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man (or woman, my words)brings good things out of the good stored up in his (HER) heart, and the evil man (woman) brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his (her) heart. For out of the overflow of his (her) heart his (her) mouth speaks." Luke 6:43-45

God, ever the gentleman that He is, gives us all free choice. That is nothing new. It started with Adam and Eve. When something or someone tries to steal my joy...whether it is from reading a book and learning and breaking free of strongholds that have held me captive for too many years...or living my life the way that God has shown me is the right way.....I am just not handing it over.

"The thief comes ONLY to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they my have life, and have it to the FULL." John 10:10 (emphasis mine)

Noone can STEAL my joy! Nobody KILLS the joy God gives me! And I certainly refuse to allow my joy destroyed! When I feel that it is happening....I simply lose myself in scripture!

My Mommy Meltdown Moment

Hello. My name is Julia and I am a full time wife and mother! Now, before you start to think that you're at the beginning of a blog written by a person in one of those twelve step programs(I am so NOT knocking those types of programs as I truly believe that there must be one out there tailored to fit the needs of this somewhat frenzied, busy, at times short tempered pastor's wife and mother)...relax! If YOU are a full time wife and mother and you think that you are having a bad day...then the story that I am about to lay out here for all the world to read, will undoubtedly make you feel like a woman who is up for a Mother of the Year Award and will leave you with absolutely no fear whatsoever of losing to me!

As I sit down to write...especially when it is a story that doesn't fall under the "Every thing's Coming Up Roses" category nor puts me in the most flattering of lights...I still do not hesitate to bring you these tales in the hope that you will see that God can truly use a mommy that is flawed, yet has a hungry heart for Jesus and still has the confidence and security in HIM to lay it all out there in the hope that it could help someone in some small way.

The other day, my 6 year old daughter, after having been sick for over a week and restricted to the house to not only keep others from being infected, but to insure that she would be well enough to return to school on Monday (and YES, I will readily admit that I needed her to go back to school. So shoot me!)....her papa had promised that after he finished his weekend chores, he would take her for a short walk around the outside of our house in the yard. As the day wore on, his chores took a little bit longer than she or he had anticipated. When you live in a tiny little town like ours, the nearest ANYTHING is 26 miles away, and it just so happened that the chore he was entrenched in at the moment, necessitated a drive to the aforementioned 26 miles specialty shop. While he was driving those 30 minutes alone in his car listening to music and relaxing and just enjoying the solitude (no resentment here), our daughter was consistently coming back and forth inquiring if her papa had returned. Then, it happened! Nobody saw it coming. These things just tend to rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune times. Oh how I wish that I could have changed that awful moment when....the temperature began to drop and a cold drizzle, ever so slightly, began tapping at our windows. It was at that precise second that our daughter realized that the much cherished walk with papa that she had patiently (or how she defines patience)waited for all day...was not to be.

I'm not sure how it happened...but my beautiful, angelic looking (notice I refer to the appearance of an angel, not an actual angel)little girl changed before my very eyes. She became this mouthy teen trapped in a 1st grader's body. After a couple of warnings, I placed her in the dreaded time out chair. Then the agony that all mothers experience at least once in a lifetime (I say that tongue in cheek because if this happened to any mom ONLY once....the offer is now on the table to trade kids)...my daughter THREW DOWN one heck of a tantrum. The time out chair is in the dining room so that she is rather isolated ( i.e. Super Nanny)and I was in the other room and I am sure that the people on the next block...past our church, which is RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO OUR HOME....the parsonage (notice that I typed that in all lowercase because aren't preacher's kids suppose to be perfect? Total sarcasm there!) could hear my kid screaming her head off! Now...going to end that story so I can fast forward a few days to begin the story of MY MOMMY MELTDOWN!

I fractured two bones in my foot earlier this year and it had been a VERY slow healing injury. The upstairs in our home is designated as Nevaeh Land. It is our daughter's area. She has a den, her bedroom and her own bathroom. My husband has kept me from going up and down the stairs (before you go thinking that he is so sweet and thoughtful, which he is, let it be noted that those very stairs are the culprit behind the fractured foot!) So, I had been completely and blessedly kept in the dark as to how BAD these areas had gotten during my recovery period. This week the foot felt so much better that I made the trip up to check out the damage. I felt like FEMA going in. I went into this state of emergency..quickly assessed the damage...and came out shaking my head and wondering to whom I would petition to come to my aide.

There was scattered debris...chairs overturned....pudding cups in one devastated section and the chocolate encrusted spoon in yet another area...didn't the two at one time go together? Every toy that the child owned....BIG AND SMALL...( SHE is no respecter of toys) had found their way to rest on every inch of carpet...I was assuming that there was still carpet under there. And then it happened.....oh how I wish I could have foreseen it coming and maybe, just maybe I could have prepared the family. Mommy was about to go into full blown Meltdown Mode with hurricane force anger. I stomped downstairs ranting about never having seen such in all of my life and I was throwing EVERYTHING away and then I was going on a vacation where there were no phones and room service that promised to cater to my every want and need. My daughter started crying and stood at the foot of the stairs watching me as I slammed past her and went back into the trenches armed with a Glad heavyweight trash bag (now I totally get WHY they call them glad...a ticked off mommy somewhere invented those trash bags) and as I began tossing trash in the bag....she dared to come up the stairs and for one small fraction of a second I think to myself "Wow, she gets it! She sees that mommy is serious and she is coming to help and show me that she will keep her room and area clean." I will answer the burning question that is weighing on all of your minds at this moment....NO, I do not do drugs!

Nevaeh reaches in the door at the top of the stairs and plucks her Happy Meal toy that she had recently gotten....a little plastic iCarly locker..from the rubble and flies back downstairs, now happily convinced that she has saved one prized possession from being thrown away.

In that short time span after....Mommy Meltdown began to ebb...and the guilt that I felt momentarily for making my daughter cry and fear the loss of all things dear to her...her toys....was washed away and in that blissful moment without a loud thunderous lightening bolt of a response...God answered my silent prayer asking HIS forgiveness for losing it and thanking HIM in advance for giving me the grace to apologize to my daughter for my Mommy Meltdown Moment.

So...tell me....feeling better about your day?

Our Men

Saturday mornings are a favorite of mine. After a busy week of school and church activities (my husband is a pastor) it is always nice to wake to the smell of coffee brewing and bacon cooking, compliments of my hubby and 6 year old daughter, who always manage to wake up first and get the ball rolling. The two of them in the kitchen carrying on a conversation as they cook waffles or pancakes, is a much nicer way to be awakened than a buzzing alarm clock. This particular morning, the conversation was so sweet, I posted it on my FaceBook page.

Nevaeh: Papa, I love you.

Papa: I love you more.

Nevaeh: Well, I love you more than Christmas AND my birthday!

Papa: Well, I love you more than a zillion dollars.

Nevaeh: Boy, we sure love each other.

Moments like those are just priceless and I cherish them so much. As I listened to them from my bed this morning, I silently thanked God for this precious man that I am so blessed to share my life with. He gets up every Saturday morning and creates a memory that will last all of us a lifetime.

The day was rainy out today, so I just spent a lazy day watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" as my husband worked in the office putting the finishing touches on his sermon for tomorrow and our daughter played quietly upstairs. I laughed out loud several times as I watched the antics that Raymond got himself into and the restraint of his ever patient wife Debra. One particular episode left me shaking my head...Raymond took over the checkbook, a task which up to that point, Debra had taken care of with no help from Ray. Within a short time span, he managed to bounce several checks and was overdrawn by $3000. It made me think of my husband. Now, before everyone thinks that I am about to jump on the "Bash My Man" train....forget it!

I am incredibly blessed to be married to a man that takes care of all of the money matters in our home. I love this as I have never liked dealing with that side of things. Can I do it? Yes, I have done it before. It is not something that I enjoy. Later, as I rested, my husband went upstairs and played with our child. He is not one to just sit and be in his own little world as the child plays around him. He actually plays what she wants to play and today....Nevaeh wanted to put her makeup on her Papa. He patiently sat and allowed this until she had her fill. After they played, he immediately set out to do some chores that he wanted to complete. I actually had to remind him to wipe off his makeup before setting out for the hardware store.

On "Everybody Loves Raymond" the audience laughs hysterically when Debra calls her husband an "idiot" or rolls her eyes at him. It can be funny! It just made me realize that I am incredibly blessed to have a man that is very sensitive to my feelings and our child's. He works hard for his family and is a living example daily of the type of man that God wants him to be.

For all the women out there that have a good man....do not hesitate to tell them how much you love and appreciate all they do. They are very similar to us in one way...they want to be acknowledged and appreciated.

To my hubby....Ken, I love you and appreciate all you do. I thank God that He saw fit to bless me so abundantly when He sent you into my life!

Adoption vs Giving Birth

As most of you know, I am the mother of a beautiful little girl that I adopted at three months old. At that particular time in my life, I had two children that I had given birth to....Ryan 18 and Zach 14. There were so many people that called me crazy that I lost count. Afterall, in their minds....I was turning 40 that year and my kids were at an age where they could do a lot of things on their own. Why in heaven's name would I want to start all over with the midnight feedings, colic, diapers, teething and potty training?

The only response that I ever gave was..."Look into those big brown eyes!" I never thought about all of the things mentioned before. I felt incredibly blessed to hold that sweet little bundle at night as she drank her bottle. I got to smell that beautiful baby scent of baby lotion and powder right after a bath. I was welcomed every morning with a great big toothless smile. I was enjoying watching as she took her first steps. For every negative someone would give me...I came up with three or more positives.

I loved being pregnant as much as any other woman. I found out I was pregnant and was overjoyed...both times. I had morning sickness and even though that was tough....I knew that at the end of the sickness, there would be a healthy baby to hold. I gained weight and I have to say, it did not bother me. I knew what the outcome was going to be. When labor started, I physically felt ever single pain as I delivered both of those kids naturally...and one of them just happened to weigh 10 lbs! But, I would gladly do it all over again to have my wonderful kids.

With Nevaeh....it was different. Another woman carried her in her womb. At three months old, her biological mother decided that she was too young and asked us if we would adopt her. At that very moment....Nevaeh was conceived in my heart. When I conceived Ryan and Zach, I knew that nine months from that day....I would hold my little boy or girl in my arms. No one would take them from me. They were MINE. While pregnant, I was in total control. I could feel them move within me. I carried them next to my heart...literally.

When you adopt a child, there is so much that you go through that is beyond your control. It is like getting on a roller coaster that constantly goes up and down and there are even times during that ride that you just close your eyes, hold your breath and pray the ride is over soon! To be perfectly honest...giving birth was a lot easier. I had to work very hard for Nevaeh and I would do it all again in a minute!

I have been privileged to become acquainted with a family on Twitter that are adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. As I share in their journey, I am reminded of how very blessed we are to have our little girl. Michelle...this is a journey and at times it feels like it is never ending....but when your little angel is with you and your husband and beautiful boys....it will rank right up there with giving birth...because, after all, when you have gone through the adoption process...you have conceived, carried and given birth to a dream!

Loving Those Who Don't Love Us

I learned a very valuable lesson on love from my six year old one night before Valentine's Day arrived. She and I were sitting at the dining room table working on her valentines for school. We had them all laid out in front of her so she could pick and choose which card went to which friend. I would read the name and she would ponder over which valentine would be perfect for that particular child.

I came to the name of a little boy that Nevaeh had ongoing trouble with all school year. He would call her names and just made her pretty miserable at times. She looked through the valentines and picked up the nicest one and said "I will give this one to him so he can see I like him even if he is mean to me."

Now, I want to be completely honest with you...as her mommy, I wanted to just not even give the kid a valentine. After all, he was not nice to my sweet little girl. He hurt her feelings many times throughout the school year. There were many nights that she would pray that he would be nicer to her. She continues to be nice to him each day, just hoping that this will be the day that he will finally be kind to her.

I came across scripture that truly spoke to my heart. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that." Luke 5:32-33

It is so easy to love people that love us. Easy to be nice to someone that is nice to us. How easy is it to love a person that is not the most loveable? Yet, that is what Christ expects of us. How many times has He loved us when we have deserved it the least?

The little boy that isn't so nice to my daughter.....not much has changed there. But, Nevaeh is determined to be nice to him and show love. She does this almost effortlessly with God's love in her heart.

We Serve A Jealous God

It has been a nonstop media frenzy since Tiger Woods crashed his vehicle on his property around Thanksgiving. Initially, people seemed to be relieved that he had not been hurt physically and then, as quick as a flash....the media and long time fans turned on him. Women started coming out of the woodwork claiming that they had slept with him or maintained a relationship with him for months or longer. There were voicemail messages sent by Tiger to a woman that we were subjected to on all the different news channels. Now, he had a short news conference last week where he publically apologized for his actions, as his devoted mother sat in front of him with her eyes cast downward.

I am by no means a Tiger Woods fan or even a golfing fan. I find the game tremendously boring. But, Tiger has amassed millions of fans around the world, not to mention a fortune that probably his great grandchildren will never be able to spend. All of that is worth nothing if there is not an inner peace and I can almost bet the farm on the fact that Tiger is not at peace right now.

Parents all over the world are weighing in on the fact that Tiger was a role model for their children and he has let them down. As a parent myself, I strongly disagree. I have a six year old daughter. Her daddy loves to golf as does her big brother, but I can guarentee you that she has NO idea who this Tiger Woods fellow is. As children get older, they will watch tv and they will get to know celebrities and make up their own minds who they like or dislike. When they are as young as my daughter, they are going to pick up on what Mom and Dad are saying. Dads out there, if you love the game of golf and play frequently, odds are, your son is going to want to be with you and play. In other words, they are going to HEAR YOU cheer when you watch tv and Tiger (or anyone else) is in a tournament and he makes a great shot. How many of your young children will take a Saturday or a Sunday afternoon and devote it to watching golf? Mine sure wouldn't!

Tiger was extremely young when he started playing golf. Was he three or a little older? Who decided that he would play golf that young? Did he? Not likely! Fast forward to now...we have a man that has made some really bad choices and he is front page news. Because he started playing golf when he was young and lost a huge chunk of childhood doesn't qualify him for a "get out of jail" free card. He made mistakes. Put aside if you will, the fact that he is the best golfer or that he is known all over the world. With all of his accomplishments, he must be in a lot of emotional pain right now. This man has a wife and children that are hurting, not to mention his wife's family and their friends. Yet through it all, we keep hearing how Tiger let his fans down.

Tiger has let himself, his wife and children down. He owes THEM an apology. He also has every right to do this in privacy as we all would. If you are married, think of the last really intense arguement that you had with your spouse...would you like it to be televised or fodder for every gossip column known to mankind? I sure wouldn't.

My own opinion as to why all of this has surfaced after such a long time hidden is simple. Tiger rose to idol status. People all over idolized him and built him up so high, not only to themselves, but they brought their kids in on the adoration too. God wants us to love Him like that. If you are going to adore someone that will never let you down...it cannot be mere humans on earth. Yes, Tiger is a great golfer, but he is also just a man. He is going to make mistakes, just like those of us not in the spotlight.

"You shall not make for yourself an IDOL in the form of ANYTHING in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a JEALOUS God..." (emphasis mine)

Yes, Tiger Woods is a great golfer. But he has not now nor will he ever reach the status of the one and only true God....the One that never disappoints us or lets us down. Perhaps a lot of parents are really angry and upset over Tiger because THEY had put Tiger on a pedestal and built him up to their own children and when he fell...instead of accepting that they had been adoring a flawed individual for so long, it is just easier to blame Tiger!

My prayer is that Tiger and his beautiful wife can work things out by themselves. I do not know Tiger Woods. Never met him. I am not a fan...but I am a big fan of family. I do not feel he owes me an apology! In his press conference Woods stated "Elin (his wife)pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time."

Parents, we must be ever more diligent picking the people that we admire here on earth. Our children are watching us. If we teach them from the very beginning of their lives that they are to love God with all of their heart and soul and mind...and HE is the only person that will never let us down...then just maybe our kids will not be as hurt when a celebrity falls off of his/her pedestal that we put them on!

A True Partner

I haven't written a blog in quite some time. I do not think that it is because I have absolutely nothing to write about...but, as most people that write know...you have to be in a certain mood, a frame of mind to be able to express all that is bursting to come out. We writers can be very arrogant at times...thinking that if we do not have that perfect adjective to describe or that specific word that will move someone..then we just will not write at all. Hmmph!

Lately, I find myself a little down in spirit. I had taken a fall in January down a few stairs and unfortunately, injured my foot. Now, being the stubborn woman that I am, I refused medical treatment for close to two weeks. When I finally made the appointment, the pain was at an all time high. I think that instinctively I knew that there was a fracture or a break...but, hearing the doctor confirm it and then send me on to an orthopedic surgeon, just heightened my fear.

When I got the call from the orthopedist office, the appointment was still two weeks away. I called them back the next morning and just asked that if someone happened to cancel an appointment, I would be more than happy to take it. Be careful what you pray for.....there was an appointment open the next morning bright and early! I woke up that morning feeling sorry for myself....I had to go to the appointment alone. My husband had to stay home and get our little girl to school. There were xrays to be taken and I was in pain....poor me! After the doctor examined my foot and checked the xrays, he said that he really couldn't see anything on the xray but that did not mean that there was nothing wrong. He assured me that this could very well be a stress fracture and we needed to treat it as such. He put me in a boot cast and sent me home, with a follow up appointment three weeks later.

I went back to the doctor this week and new xrays were made and there was a very visible hairline fracture. The prognosis was horrible. He said that this was a 3 month healing process and that the pain could last anywhere from 6 months to a year. To a very active, always on the go Preacher's wife, this was not the news that I had wanted to hear.

After I was finished being "full of myself" I got out my computer in the hopes of getting "lost" by reading others tweets and seeing what all of my friends were up to on Facebook. What I got was a true lesson in humility.

First, I checked on the progress of my friend, Heather. She had recently undergone her THIRD (yes, you read it correctly) brain surgery. She was in a hospital in excruciating pain...swelling, headaches and even a black eye (yet she still looked beautiful and wore that precious smile). From her bed, she was tweeting special messages to her friends. Her precious husband Christian, had been keeping everyone up to date on her progress by blogging and sending texts...all the while, trying to work and take care of their precious 8 year old daughter Tory...while facing his own fears and having to know his beloved wife was in pain.

In another hospital many miles away, my dear friend Randy, who is more a brother than a friend, lay recovering from open heart surgery. He was still being kept "under" with his chest still open....while the doctors and nurses worked to keep him alive. His devoted spouse Angela, right by his side, texting everyone and keeping them up to date....exhausted and scared....praying for the best possible outcome.

Then...there is my sister. Just moved into a new home after recently losing her husband of 30 years. As she was unpacking, trying to make a place with newly painted walls and steam cleaned carpets a home for herself and her 9 year old son....5 miles away, under 8 inches of snow, her husband was buried. Mike had been a very devoted and loving husband for many years. In his final days, Joyce was able to take care of the man that had always been the caregiver.

My own husband, a pastor of a busy church, on different committees and a loving Papa to our little girl...has been taking care of me. Not allowing me to do a lot and trying to do anything possible to help in the healing process of this old foot. He has cared for me with so much love and even though it has increased his workload, he never complains or loses his cool.

These are all examples of a true partner in life. If you are blessed to have such a spouse....thank God every day for them. Ephesians 5:25 came to mind this morning as I was reading Christian's blog about Heather....."Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...." What if we all lived that way and loved our partners in that same all consuming way?

I know that just seeing the examples of love that my friends I have mentioned in this blog, possess and openly express to their partners, makes me want to be a better wife to my husband. How about you?